We got a hummer*.

Pelvis

In my office. It's bad enough having to listen to the radio, with the ****ty music and ads that entails, but some tosser at the far end of the room feels the need to hum along to the songs. It seems to reverberate across the room into my ears and it's DRIVING ME FUCKIN' DEMENTED!!!!!!

No one else seems to mind though, at least not visibly.

I may have to resort to violence. How do you remove one's vocal chords?



*No, not the car. That would be far more interesting.

uch

Start Farting loudly

Erik Shin

Thought you meant somebody that smelled a bit off...You know, a mixture of sour milk and piss...

Maximus Alexander

I always keep headphones on hand and just plug in to Spotify if anything starts to irritate or distract me in the office. I would highly recommend this approach.

MySandwich

What's your favourite humming noise?

Atoms for Peace

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbITPljzybE

Your Face

So someone humming may drive you to murder.
Seems reasonable.

Pelvis

Your Face wrote: »

So someone humming may drive you to murder.
Seems reasonable.

Don't be so ridiculous. I'm only thinking of inflicting extreme, unthinkable pain for a prolonged period.

biscuithead

Cut the MMM segment out of this and play it on loop on a computer next to him:

ellejay

worked with a guy that whistled under his breath
it very nearly drove me demented.

only solution was to keep talking to him
think i annoyed him so much he moved desks.

Parchment

We have a constant throat clearer.

Winterlong

Throat clearers are the worst. Especially ones who do it over the phone.

Heavy breathers on the phone are a close second.

lawred2

sniffling and hacking over a prolonged period raises the fury in me

infogiver

I've been humming and tra la laing Killer Queen by Queen for about 2 weeks, day and night, at work and at home.

Parchment

Winterlong wrote: »

Throat clearers are the worst. Especially ones who do it over the phone.

Heavy breathers on the phone are a close second.

I think our one has a tic or something.

me_irl

Would you say it's a "trivial thing" OP?

imme

Start clicking or clucking
They'll be freaked out by ya

Hopefully it'll scare the sheet out of them and shut them up

Another one would be to actually sing along to the crappy songs

Seriously though why are there so many people who don't think about their colleagues

Humans were never meant to work in an office environment,
that's for fooking sure!!!

nelly17

Put on some headphones, job done

mel123

Ive got a whistler, a tapper and i can hear the guy - id say 20 feet away from me - slurping his coffee, no joke.
Agree with the earphones/headset to calm down, i do this before i pick up the heavy duty stapler to chuck at any of the above. It helps.

me_irl

mel123 wrote: »

Ive got a whistler, a tapper and i can hear the guy - id say 20 feet away from me - slurping his coffee, no joke.
Agree with the earphones/headset to calm down, i do this before i pick up the heavy duty stapler to chuck at any of the above. It helps.

Hope it's not a swingline.

neverever1

Uh stuck in an office with all you weirdos. That'd be a nightmare.

Your Face

Pelvis wrote: »

Don't be so ridiculous. I'm only thinking of inflicting extreme, unthinkable pain for a prolonged period.

Whew, well that's OK then.
Carry on

Lead

We had one of these so i changed the station to Newstalk. Not another humm was heard

corner of hells

Parchment wrote: »

We have a constant throat clearer.

We've a "hair twirler".The hair twirling goes well with her vacant expression .
She focuses a bit when sticking up pictures of what ****e she's eating on Facebook.

Mena Mitty

corner of hells wrote: »

We've a "hair twirler".The hair twirling goes well with her vacant expression .
She focuses a bit when sticking up pictures of what ****e she's eating on Facebook.

You need yer woman 'hair twirler' to announce to all and sundry that sciencists have found a link between dwindling virility and humming. It says so on Facebuk so it must be true.

everlast75

fyi - a hummer is American slang for a bj so....

not quite sure what you're complaining about OP...