"My Family's Slave"

wonderfullife

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2017/06/lolas-story/524490/?utm_source=twb

I have faith in After Hours.

This is probably the most beautifully written piece on a thoroughly complicated situation I've ever read. It's about a woman named Lola.

You should read it too.

PARlance

You have too much faith, the audio version is 55 mins long.

greencap

wonderfullife wrote: »

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2017/06/lolas-story/524490/?utm_source=twb

I have faith in After Hours.

We're not your slaves.

somefeen

Summarise it for me in the form of a sonnet

I had a read of it. And now I'm in tears.

Worth reading, an insight into how things can just happen and continue to just happen because of the inertia of both the oppressed and the oppressor.

wonderfullife

Candie wrote: »

I had a read of it. And now I'm in tears.

Worth reading, an insight into how things can just happen and continue to just happen because of the inertia of both the oppressed and the oppressor.

It's one of the most nuanced, exceptionally written pieces I've come across. I've a mixture of sympathy and anger for almost every person in the story.

I don't cry as often as I should but I cried reading this.

Day Lewin

I read it, Atlantic magazine I think it was. (Did NOT take 45 mins to read, not at all)

Brilliant, absolutely stunning, totally thought-provoking.

A world of implications, too subtle to pin down here. I could wrote poems about the woman at the centre of it, who worked her whole life for no pay, long hours, days, and years, getting no thanks, in love and in duty, as well as in bondage and in exploitation.

The ending, specially - very moving.


Go read it.

Charlie19

Her name was Lola.

The_Valeyard

I'm sure it's a fascinating read. But I'll get thumb cancer scrolling through that. Maybe when on PC or have more free time.

Yourself isit

Sad and poignant story. Beautifully written.

Beyondgone

It's like reading about Hannah Hauxwell. I'm left feeling I'd like to shake Lola and get her to cop on. That isn't life Lola, that's just sleepwalking. The Lola's of the world need to take a look at Kim Kardashian - zero talent, zero appeal, tons of confidence. Be confident. Don't be a Lola. Or life will use you badly.

Great bit of writing. The bit about keeping recipes and stuff that she couldn't read is really touching.

Beyondgone

Beyondgone wrote: »

It's like reading about Hannah Hauxwell. I'm left feeling I'd like to shake Lola and get her to cop on. That isn't life Lola, that's just sleepwalking. The Lola's of the world need to take a look at Kim Kardashian - zero talent, zero appeal, tons of confidence. Be confident. Don't be a Lola. Or life will use you badly.

I think the world needs something in between those two.

RDM_83 again

somefeen wrote: »

Summarise it for me in the form of a sonnet

Valient young boys love for Lola was so great,
His heart melts for her suffering 'til the dusk of day.
She toiled the nights when his folks away,
slaves, but never ever runs away.

Her passivity was great,
Now grown boy, Writers mind subject matter sees,
To humble brag n lecture is all he does,
While waiting for the moment, for us all to say "slavery is bad M'kay"


I honestly don't think this piece was that great, subject matter was mildly interesting and pretty sad but the world is utterly full of sad stories.

A less cynical criticism would be that it isn't really about the subject of the story, a lot of it is simply about him, it enforces even a postmortem passivity on her, you don't get the feel of her own voice in it. In the end at the Philippines the way the emotions are described feels like a reworking of the 'noble wise savage' or the simple but pure rustic peasants.
He's the masters son, its all through his lens. For an apparently progressive piece it falls into a lot of the classic pitfalls.

Also who the hell just hands somebody their aunts ashes no warning in a tote bag, that shows a real lack of self awareness (unless you like big emotional reactions to happen).

Donald Trump

Does she walk like a woman and talk like a man?

Junkyard Tom

RDM_83 again wrote: »

you don't get the feel of her own voice in it.

The nature of Lola's existence was mute. The author, I'm guessing, was compelled to write her story for that very reason. Lola was so conditioned to serve that, in the end, the author couldn't 'save' her from herself. It's a tragic account of how a person can be enslaved by circumstance rather than chains.

wonderfullife

RDM_83 again wrote: »

I honestly don't think this piece was that great, subject matter was mildly interesting and pretty sad but the world is utterly full of sad stories.

A less cynical criticism would be that it isn't really about the subject of the story, a lot of it is simply about him,

For me, it was his story as much as Lola was the subject.

Sure, the love he had for her was clear throughout the piece but it was really about what he did and what he failed to do. You can feel his guilt, his pain and regret dripping from the pages, mixed with his efforts to support and care for Lola too.

I can't imagine how difficult that can be. To be born into a life where the nanny/maid/servant is an ever-present constant and only realising through teenage years and adulthood her true situation as an unpaid slave, never allowed a life outside the house.

I kinda lost it when she asked to go home to her garden. I suppose Stockholm Syndrome was in the back of my mind throughout.

Murrisk

Longform journalism at its best.

One sentence jumped out at me though:

She’d had none of the self-serving ambition that drives most of us, and her willingness to give up everything for the people around her won her our love and utter loyalty.

It strikes me that she was probably conditioned to not be self-serving or ambitious. It may not have been her natural state. And most likely wasn't. I think the author glossed over this a bit.

Murrisk

wonderfullife wrote: »

It's one of the most nuanced, exceptionally written pieces I've come across. I've a mixture of sympathy and anger for almost every person in the story.

Gotta say, my sympathy is very much weighted towards Lola.

myshirt

Is this any better than the boards classic The Grassy Knoll by Spencer Winterbotham?

Just read Lola's story. My goodness what a person.

Not afraid to admit that it made this 43 year old chap weep.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

somefeen wrote: »

Summarise it for me in the form of a sonnet

Sonnet? **** that - tldr. Haiku or next thread.

mfceiling

Beyondgone wrote: »

The Lola's of the world need to take a look at Kim Kardashian - zero talent, zero appeal, tons of confidence. Be confident. Don't be a Lola. Or life will use you badly.

Christ no...There are better female role models in the world than a dope who cant go to the toilet without posting it online.

Hermy

It was well written but not especially eloquent.

It certainly didn't make me cry.

And as for feeling sympathy for all involved - certainly not. The parents cruelty towards Lola was shameful, especially the mother who waited till her very last breath before admitting she was wrong.

Your Face

I believe in Harvey Dent.

SnakePlissken

Deeply affecting to also learn this was the last article its author got to write.

Hande hoche!

myshirt wrote: »

Is this any better than the boards classic The Grassy Knoll by Spencer Winterbotham?

An impressive piece of prose, up there with Trent.

WHIP IT!

Murrisk wrote: »

Longform journalism at its best.

One sentence jumped out at me though:



It strikes me that she was probably conditioned to not be self-serving or ambitious. It may not have been her natural state. And most likely wasn't. I think the author glossed over this a bit.

He doesn't gloss over it at all. He's completely up front about Lola's situation from the first paragraph and indeed his own shame about same. It's a fantastically well-written and harrowing tale.

helimachoptor

excellent and harrowing read

Dr Crayfish

I was looking forward to a tear jerker but I was a bit disappointment when it ended as I felt nothing. I think I might autistic.

Yourself isit

SnakePlissken wrote: »

Deeply affecting to also learn this was the last article its author got to write.

Just Googled that.

The last story Tizon wrote was an article for The Atlantic, in which he described how his parents had kept a peasant woman named Eucedia Tomas Pulido as a household slave, even after emigrating to America from the Philippines. He died the day that The Atlantic's editorial staff decided the article would be featured on the magazine's front cover, but before they could tell him of their decision

Even more shocking

Tombo2001

Its a brilliant read if gut-wrenching, thanks very much for sharing.

pxdf9i5cmoavkz

Usually apply a TL;DR to a lot of things but this story was amazing and sad at the same time.

Reminds me of Stockholm Syndrome?

solerina

Wow.....just wow, amazing article !!! Thanks for sharing OP.

wonderfullife

solerina wrote: »

Wow.....just wow, amazing article !!! Thanks for sharing OP.

You're welcome.

I know long-form articles are a tough-sell these days when people don't have the time or patience for reading them, I just felt if you only read one in the entire year this should be high on the list.

Murrisk

WHIP IT! wrote: »

He doesn't gloss over it at all.

I disagree, in that sentence he does. No reflection on the thought that she might have had any self-serving notions knocked out of her very early on.

Malari

Dr Crayfish wrote: »

I was looking forward to a tear jerker but I was a bit disappointment when it ended as I felt nothing. I think I might autistic.

Yeah, I didn't find it at all sad. Just interesting. The kind of unusual story you might get on a Radiolab or This American Life podcast.

mad muffin

Her name was Lola, she was a slavegirl
With yellow rags in her hair and a dress of hand me downs
She would cook and do the cleaning
And while she tried to be free
Tom always told her get back to work
Inside the crowded house, she worked all hours of the day
They were young and had no one, a pile of washing for a bed
She longed to be let go

At the Tozon's (ti) Tizon's (Tizon's)
The Cruelest house in LA
At the Tizon's at the Tizon's
Toil and cruelty was the order of the day
At the Tizon's she cried to sleep…

wakka12

I feel sick thats just so sad, no other word for it

riffmongous

While I realise it's a personal story the author felt he needed to tell, I do wish there was some note or paragraph connecting it to the very real situation of modern slavery that many millions of people still find themselves captive in

Maybe not as sad dramatic as that, but something similar would not have been uncommon in Ireland at one time some poor or slightly simple woman maybe a relative taken in took look after the children and do house work and sometimes not paid or they were taken out of an orphanage and paid a pittance.

or what about how live in farm labours were often treated or what about hiring fairs.

Bambi985

Deeply thought provoking, thanks for sharing OP.

I think the love he had for her shone throughout the piece. He felt deep shame from an early age, to the extent that it drew a wedge between him and his mother, but Lola's presence in his life was all he knew really. I feel as though him taking her in later in life was his own way of trying to appease that guilt and pay her back for everything she had done for them.

Something so poignant about the author's untimely death too, and this being his last piece of writing. I'd say it was his life's ambition to write that piece.

retro:electro

Beautiful piece- I cried at the end. What a beautiful lady. I didn't realise the author Alex died recently too? RIP Alex.

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

Topper Harley

RDM_83 again wrote: »

Also who the hell just hands somebody their aunts ashes no warning in a tote bag, that shows a real lack of self awareness (unless you like big emotional reactions to happen).

I’d been in touch with one of Lola’s nieces. She had the day planned: When I arrived, a low-key memorial, then a prayer, followed by the lowering of the ashes into a plot at the Mayantoc Eternal Bliss Memorial Park.

People in these parts don’t often get their loved ones cremated. I don’t think she knew what to expect.

It seems to me that he had told Lola's niece what he was doing and what he was giving her, but that due to being unfamiliar with the idea of people being cremated, she was still a bit shocked.