Traced Adopted Sister

paulacul

Anyone have experience of meeting a full biological adopted sibling ?. I have traced her through the Adoption authority and case has gone to Tusla. A long waiting list I'm told. I am out of my mind with worry for the sake of my elderly parents. They had given her up for adoption but 5 years later, went on to have me and two other kids. I am terrified that she may be angry or aggressive with them if they meet. As they are now elderly, this would have a detrimental effect on their health. Has anyone had an experience like this. Thanks

bisset

What makes you think she will be agressive?

paulacul

bisset wrote: »

What makes you think she will be agressive?

I found out that my dad had left mother before she was born and mother gave her up for adoption.
However 5 yrs later, they reunited and had us.

I feel bad for her, im sure she will feel awful about this. I just hope that when she does meet my parents, that all hell wont break loose.

Im a worrier

Ps, thanks for your previous reply

kathy finn

Hi, Why would she be angry, as an adopted person i know my bmum did what she thought was right at the time. We are not angry or do we want revenge.
We are normal people just wanting to know where we came from.

kathy finn

Hi OSI.
Thats very true not all people want reunion but i feel information is very important, i found that Breast cancer runs in my bmums family and with 3 girls of my own its very important to have medical information going forward

Nekarsulm

paulacul wrote: »

I found out that my dad had left mother before she was born and mother gave her up for adoption.
However 5 yrs later, they reunited and had us.

I feel bad for her, im sure she will feel awful about this. I just hope that when she does meet my parents, that all hell wont break loose.

Im a worrier

Ps, thanks for your previous reply

How would she know any of this?
She just knows she was adopted.
For all you know, there is just as much chance that she has been searching for her mother. Remember most adopted children have grown up with wonderful parents.

paulacul

Absolutely. When i first heard i had adopted sister, i registered with adoption authority and gave them family medical history. It is vital.

Ghekko

When you say you have traced her, do you know where she is now or do you have to wait for adoption agency to tell you?

paulacul

I contacted adoption authority 5 yrs ago to see if i could find her. Last wk, they rang saying they made a match. Could only give me small details like what county is she living in etc.

Case has gone to tusla now, waiting list of a few months min. Then we decide how to progress from there.

I have no faith in the system to be honest. Tusla do not have a great reputation at the moment

Ghekko

Have a look a the sibling trace guides on sticky thread and start your own trace. Your mother can request the adoption order number from the adoption agency. Get a copy of your sisters birth Cert to ensure you have the correct date of birth. With date of birth details you can look through the adoption books in GRO werburgh street, or Roscommon if closer. You may come up with a few girls born on that date who were adopted. You can get copies of the adoption certs and can then match your sisters from the adoption order reference. On the Cert you will get the address of her adoptive parents at the time of adoption. Even if they have moved you may be still able to find them. If you manage to find the info before hearing from the adoption authority ring them to say you have her details. We had found Dh's birth mother by the time he had his first meeting with social worker. When I told them I knew where she lived they got on the case very quickly!!

paulacul

Ghekko wrote: »

Have a look a the sibling trace guides on sticky thread and start your own trace. Your mother can request the adoption order number from the adoption agency. Get a copy of your sisters birth Cert to ensure you have the correct date of birth. With date of birth details you can look through the adoption books in GRO werburgh street, or Roscommon if closer. You may come up with a few girls born on that date who were adopted. You can get copies of the adoption certs and can then match your sisters from the adoption order reference. On the Cert you will get the address of her adoptive parents at the time of adoption. Even if they have moved you may be still able to find them. If you manage to find the info before hearing from the adoption authority ring them to say you have her details. We had found Dh's birth mother by the time he had his first meeting with social worker. When I told them I knew where she lived they got on the case very quickly!!

Thanks a million, appreciate the info