Why does the brain/mind cling onto bad people/experiences

dd972

Your having the best banter and time of your life, it could be a good day out, event or just a few drinks and laughs with your other half, closest family, good friends or even just work colleagues or acquaintances you particularly get on with.

Eventually it all melts away like an ice cube on a car bonnet on a hot, sunny day.

You encounter people whom are bullies, snides, c**ts, piss takers, etc.

And it's almost as if they've taken up permanent residence in your head akin to Elvis's residency on the strip in Vegas, bought a f**king apartment between your ears with a 9000 year leasehold or have some Arsene Wengeresque indefinite leave to remain.

Clinging onto them could just be the brain/minds way of warning you that these types of people exist and therefore equipping you for the future, the fact that there's such an imbalance between the two types of experience gets to me though.

Jim Bob Scratcher

Because the brain is a kunt :mad:

Atoms for Peace

Once bitten twice shy or something.

red ears

I suppose in ancient times before law and order hostile people could be very dangerous or life threatening. It may well have been evolutionary useful to remember who has insulted, threatened or abused you. It wouldn't matter a damn if 20 people smiled at you some day its the one person who stared you down that would require your attention.

worded

The baddies you meet represent a threat and you need to be on guard I suppose

It's your mind alerting you

Yes it would be good to be able to box them off.

One trick is to pretend they are small and you put a glass dome, like a glass cake done thingy over them to silence them

Google it and I'm sure you will find more techniques

Outlaw Pete

I've had a lot of very traumatic experiences and have to say that the ones that are the hardest to deal with are generally the ones were the person responsible is a family member (or a school / work colleague) and was in the wrong but won't admit it, or accept it... as there is something about that which the brain keeps trying to come to terms with as we are hardwired to try and resolve family issues and issues with anyone really that we have to deal with in or life other than strangers who we will never meet again. When you can't.. for whatever reason, that's hard to live with. Which is why I feel mental abuse should be taken just as seriously as any kind of physical abuse, as it's as bad, if not worse.

Have a mind that wrestles with that kind of stuff is a sign (in my view at least) of someone that is decent, as people that generally don't get stressed when things aren't cool, are generally cunts. Amazes me the amount of people that can cause such stress and misery in other people's lives and yet they're chilled out while the people around them are booking sessions with shrinks.

I find looking at the stars help give me prospective on all the madness though. As George Bailey said to Old Man Potter: "In the whole vast configuration of things, I'd say you were nothing but a scurvy little spider!". Well, when you think about it, that kind of goes for us all in a way. Well, apart from Ghandi, Mandela and Nik Kershaw of course. Those ****ers changed the world.

wurzlitzer

I look at the stars too and it kind puts everything in perspective

I have tried to work through my issues down the years I have clinged on to so much I have managed to forgive those I did not know that well but I still have not forgiven people for things they did to me when I was down the on my luck I pretend I have I know I should let go I forgive them almost 80% there is still a lingering 20% that is sorta pissed off with for causing me grief when I did not need it

Junkyard Tom

Sometimes I'm not sure if my brain controls my mind or if my mind controls my brain.

dd972

Outlaw Pete wrote: »

Amazes me the amount of people that can cause such stress and misery in other people's lives and yet they're chilled out while the people around them are booking sessions with shrinks.

100% my friend, I remember this s**thouse in my school who gave me and others all sorts of grief, checked him out on Facebook and of course, looks happy as a pig in s**t, nice wife, 3 or 4 kids, not a care in the world, when his real karma would be somewhat different, what you touch upon there though with these people is psychopathy, when I think about this bloke I remember that this character wouldn't waste a brain cell thinking about me so why do the same? These people are genuinely devoid of empathy apart from when and if it suits them.

wakka12

Your brain makes sure you remember those bad experiences so you can avoid them in future, survival instinct. Good memories are good but your brain doesn't see them as anything valuable survival wise so theyre less prioritised

judeboy101

So that you never vote for Renua

Hannibal_Smith

It's so true. Maybe it's a safety mechanism from when we hunted and gathered. We remembered bad experiences to learn. Look at animals for example, they are always suspicious and on their guard. Maybe we're wired the same way for the same self preservation reasons, but sometimes instead of people trying to kill us the attack can be verbal. I blame trust! If we didn't trust anyone we wouldn't realise the level of c*nt some people excel at!!