Am I a lost cause?

irlblae

Hey everyone. This will probably be long so I apologise in advance. I left school when I was 17 to become a full time carer for my Mum. I didn't do too well in my Junior Cert and because I left at the start of 6th year, I never did my Leaving Cert. I'm now 26, still a full time carer and unemployed without any education. I feel like a total failure and like I have no chance of having a future career or even a part time job. My Mum is almost at the end of her illness and I'm starting to panic about what I'll do afterwards. My mind has been so consumed by this for the past 9 years that I don't even have any goals or ideas of what I'd like to do. I assume I need to start with the LC but it's been so long I don't know how I'd go back and do Maths, Irish etc again. They'd feel so foreign to me now. Basically I'm looking for advice from anyone in a similar situation who has gotten out of this and been able to prosper in life. Do I have any hope? Where do I even start? It's as if I'm still a 17 year old in a 26 year old's body and I've just been in limbo since my Mum got sick. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I feel very lost.

sibersha

OP don't be so hard on yourself. What you did was commendable and speaks volumes of your character.

Sorry I don't have any advice regarding education, but you're definitely not a lost cause.

andreoilin

Hi irlblae,

Firstly, sorry to hear about your Mum. I'm also a carer so I know how difficult it can be, but I've never had to care for a family member so I can only imagine it's been tough for you. You should be proud.

I'm 25, and only entered third level education last September as a mature student. Most courses have a mature student entry route which is usually an aptitude test an/or interview, so a leaving certificate, although possibly an advantage, is not essential. There's also the like of FETAC courses. Were you thinking of staying in healthcare or moving on to something different?

pillphil

irlblae wrote: »

Hey everyone. This will probably be long so I apologise in advance. I left school when I was 17 to become a full time carer for my Mum. I didn't do too well in my Junior Cert and because I left at the start of 6th year, I never did my Leaving Cert. I'm now 26, still a full time carer and unemployed without any education. I feel like a total failure and like I have no chance of having a future career or even a part time job. My Mum is almost at the end of her illness and I'm starting to panic about what I'll do afterwards. My mind has been so consumed by this for the past 9 years that I don't even have any goals or ideas of what I'd like to do. I assume I need to start with the LC but it's been so long I don't know how I'd go back and do Maths, Irish etc again. They'd feel so foreign to me now. Basically I'm looking for advice from anyone in a similar situation who has gotten out of this and been able to prosper in life. Do I have any hope? Where do I even start? It's as if I'm still a 17 year old in a 26 year old's body and I've just been in limbo since my Mum got sick. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I feel very lost.

You won't have to do the leaving cert (unless you want to). If you have an idea of what you want to do, most courses/colleges will have some kind of access course to get you up to speed for the course you want to do. Since your a mature student, you don't have to be assessed for third level by points.

Maynooth's as a random example https://www.maynoothuniversity.ie/access-office

I assume you're getting carer's benefit/allowance? You should qualify for Back To Education Allowance, which will pay you the your normal weekly payment to go to college, you may also qualify for your fees to be paid depending on income.

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/social_welfare/social_welfare_payments/back_to_education/back_to_education_allowance.html

There's also PLC courses, which might be a good way to have a test run of an area you think you might be interested in.

I think the key thing, and probably the hardest part, is figuring out what you actually want to do.

dar100

I was expelled from school at 10!! I didn't do a JC or LC!! I went to college at 27 and now have a degree and MA . I wouldn't bother about doing a LC its a waste of time imo!

Go for a course that interests you, if you don't feel up to a degree yet, go for a level 5 in an area that interests you!! And then go for degree

compo1

First off, think about what you'd like to do. Then check out what qualifications are needed. A PLC would be a good idea and if you're aiming for third level, check out FETAC and MSAP (Mature Student Application Pathway). If you plan on going third level, make sure you apply to SUSI for the grant.
What you've been doing is commendable and, no, it's never too late. I've just finished 2nd Year in UCC. I'm 55.

OldNotWIse

Hi OP. Sorry to hear about your Mam. I imagine that being a full time carer is harder than any exams you would ever have to do. I went back to education part time at the age of 30 so you are still young and have lots of time! Many employers are flexible now when it comes to accommodating part time study as they know the long term benefits.

I hope you find something you love doing, and can find a way to get there.

Lady is a tramp

I was at an AA meeting the other week, the guy doing the Chair was a Social Worker. He'd gotten his sobriety in prison, and had never learned to read or write - he did all that after prison, and then did his LC, and then his degree in Social Work, and jumped all the hoops he had to to get the job he has now. He's my current inspiration. I might think I have it tough, but at least I can read and write. He couldn't, but he just did!

Pelvis

OP I think you have a better education than most in what you've been doing for your whole adult life thus far. You just need to have a think about what you want to do from now on, and as has been mentioned most avenues open to you in terms of third level education have a mature student entry, so you don't have to do the leaving cert.

You're still very young! I am about to enter my final year of a degree course, I will be 35 when I graduate.

Sosurface

Dont bother with a leaving cert you'll only be wasting a year of your life for sod all. I f*cked up my leaving cert. Returned to college age 30 to study engineering. Nearly done now. Try and get in contact with a career guidance place, theres likely one in your local college. See what you're interested in, where you wanna be in a few years, apply and go for it. If you dont get in first time do a FETAC/PLC relevant to the course and apply again next year. You dont/wont need a leaving cert at this stage.

spurious

Find the Adult Education Officer in your local ETB (previously VEC). Their job is to assist people in exactly your situation.

They wil give you your options. You may of course do a Leaving Cert. if you wish to, but you can access college without it.

Joejoanne123

I've just completed my first year of computer science degree after being away from full time education for nearly 30 years. I'll be 48 when I qualify. Just have a look through all the courses available and find your passion. Then go for it. Then maybe start with a plc course. Best of luck to ya

GritBiscuit

Have a look on third level institution websites and you can usually order a prospectus and find out more about qualifications for any likely field you'd like to go into or even what is practical in terms of length of course or costs.

If you have an adult guidance office locally, they can help with which access courses are on where, grants and funding and even help with applications.

I left home/school early and went back to study last year and despite being terrified, found I loved it.

Best of luck!

Kerryman79

Perhaps you should try a springboard course , just completed one and have the option of returning to full time in Sept, on my course it was only half of each semester so was a great introduction, dont let your age put you off im 38 and was able to stay in the top ten ,all down to how hard you work plus mature students are great for helping each other out .

McAlban

I became a single parent just after my 20th Birthday, and my second child arrived not long after my 21st birthday. Instead of going to college I went into the minimum wage sector of the workforce, with a mediocre leaving certificate. For years I told myself I wasn't smart enough, didn't have time or the skills to study. My mother died in 2010 from Cancer and her last words to me were basically to do something with my life and reach my potential and with being lucky enough to have a further education grant from my employer. I started studying with Oscail in DCU (Part-Time Distance).

I have one year to go, and I'm on course for 1st Class Honours, but the education has already greatly benefited me with my salary increasing by €10k while doing it.

I will say this, it is not easy, you cut back on social life and sometimes family occasions, Its Worth the sense of achievement you get with your results. Also don't be afraid to ask for help or say that you don't understand something. I have discalculia and needed a lot of support with maths related subjects. but the supports are there in your classmates and lecturers.