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Not being introduced to friends

  • 08-05-2017 4:08pm
    #1
    Numberella
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6 ✭


    I've been with my boyfriend for just over 5 month, both of us are in our 20's, and he's never formally introduced me to any of his friends, although I have met a handful just by bumping into them out and about.
    Any time I ask about it he pawns me off, saying that we might not get on, I might get bored etc etc. He hasnt met any of mine either-but that's because I moved here 9 months ago and have yet to find a new close friend circle.
    As someone who is very shy, I don't actively request to be brought into situations where I'd be made uncomfortable, but lately it's causing a stain on the relationship, for example he'll chose to go out with them and I wont see him then  ( He'll spend maybe three nights-key word is nights, we go to sleep and get up the next day to go to work- a week at my apartment,and then divide his time between work and friends and I might see him for a day on the weekend) 
    Of course I understand people want their own friends, and couples need time apart. But I don't know why I've been segregated away like this, I cant help but feel that he is somewhat ashamed, especially as it took him months to even tell any of them he was dating someone.

    Would other people consider this an issue or am I being ridiculous?


Comments

  • #2
    retro:electro
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,039 ✭✭✭✭retro:electro


    I think there's definitely something odd about this, especially since, as you say, you've not got much of a social circle yourself- so by introducing you to his friends it could help expand yours; their girlfriends etc etc.
    I think 5 months in it's not unreasonable to want to get to know his friends and expect to be asked along. Do you think he's being totally honest with you?


  • #3
    Airyfairy12
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,405 ✭✭✭Airyfairy12


    From experience with that sort of behaviour he might not be taking the relationship as seriously as you would like to think and may not be very honest with you. I wouldnt be expecting much from him.


  • #4
    Numberella
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6 ✭Numberella


    Thank you for your replies!
    Neither of us have ever been in a relationship this long term so often I peg this sort of behavior up to simply being stupid at romance. But it's hard to understand this one at all
    I guess a serious and unpleasant conversation is something to look forward to.. ha


  • #5
    Gunslinger92
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,901 ✭✭✭Gunslinger92


    Sorry OP, in my opinion it doesn't look good. It's very odd not to have been properly introduced to any friends after five months. I'm only with my OH about two and a half months but I've met all of the lads, one of them on only our third date! If he's out with anyone for a pint or something he'll say to me to come and join them if I'm free.

    I don't think he views your relationship as very serious


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