Afraid of starting new job

LegacyUser

Im starting a new job this month and im terrified about not fitting in, the job requires allot of group work and interactions with staff and employers, it also requires face to face work with clients. I have been unemployed for a very long time so when I got the offer I grabbed it with both hands and really need this job.

The reason why im worrying so much is because I have social anxiety and im introverted, I dont ever feel like I fit in anywhere, I was bullied in primary school right up to leaving cert, in university I didnt feel I fitted in with my class mates, I wasnt invited to parties or end of year meals and nights out and I spend my weekends alone as ive no one to go out with.

I have a few 'friends' but theyre not dependable. I did have more friends when I was younger but as we got older priorities changed, people moved away, started families ect and I feel very alone. The thoughts of starting this job has my stomach in knots, I have anxiety just thinking about it. Im no good with small talk and feel like I always say the wrong thing, something about me seems to rub people the wrong way and no matter what I do I never seem to be respected or liked by anyone. I do like people and im interested in what they have to say but theyre just not interested in me and at times have had no problem with belittling me or making me feel stupid/unwanted. The thoughts of being in this situation again and being rejected and disliked is leaving me very stressed. Im currently in counselling but just hoping that someone here can offer advice or tips.

Thank you

zoobizoo

firstly, well done on your new job. And well done on going to counselling.

What to do:

Buy a copy of The Feeling Good Handbook by Dr. David Burns. You can order it online. Plenty of good advice, tips and exercises to do in it. There are some of the exercises up online too I think.


I found, after having suffered from Social Anxiety for years, was that becoming more interesting helped me a lot. I took up some new hobbies and had things to talk about.

So develop your own interests and experiences.


On your first day, it'll be nerve wracking... it is for many people. You should ease into things once you learn the ropes.

Beta Ray Bill

Well done on the Job OP

Remember, No one is going to throw you under a bus on your first day!
There might be a bit of friendly slagging as you're the newbie

Just do your best.

Think before you act, pay attention to what you'll be shown and what you colleagues are doing and you'll be fine.

Congrats again!