Emotional/Physical Cheating

bob dylan

Story guys,

I have been dating a french girl for nearly a year and a half, we met when she came to study in cork last year. So currently I live in cork while she is actually in spain in Madrid. Anyway our relationship seemed really good until about a week ago, where one of her friends (who is from spain) that she "had feelings for" when she was 16 had visited her. So basically in the end she said none of this was my fault, that i was a fantastic boyfriend but she had to follow her heart and break up and be with her friend who she has only met twice in her life (at 16 and now at 21). She thinks that its like their destiny or something, and that he has waited for her for 5 years (even tho he has had like 3 ex girlfriends and messages her whenever he has problems with his ex) and that she truely knows him (despite only meeting him twice and contact through social medias). She even said that she "thinks she is making the worst mistake of her life......but she has to follow her heart". Overall what dissappointed me was the lack of respect, she dropped this bombshell right before my final year exams, she wouldnt talk to me over skype, said she wanted space but still hanged out with the other guy, and she went out on nights out partying having fun while my world was flipped upside down. She promised me she would do nothing while he was there and make a decision in a month, but instead kissed him on the last day and we broke up 2/3 days after (this whole sequence happened in the space of a week). So her plan is now to have a long distance relationship with this guy who had no problem making her cheat on me. Basically i just want to have confirmation.......I dodged a bullet right? If she is so emotionally unstable that she can throw away a year and half of a good relationship for somebody she barely knows just on the whim without thinking about me or the regret, I presume the relationship would of never worked out (even though she says this would of never had happened with anybody else than this spainish guy). I think it could be a french thing, her whole family had incidents like this where they just going for the hopeless romantic follow the heart kind of thing without actually thinking. Anyway rant over guys, would appreciate feedback!

Sounds like you are writing my bio there :-)
Yes, move on, onwards and upwards
You know yourself you have dodged a bullet
The whole long distance thing is headwrecking anyways(especially if the other person is a headwrecker), so at least you don't have to deal with that anymore

All the best

suicide_circus

As soon as I read the word "destiny" I was 100% you has dodged a bullet.

Sephiroth_dude

You are well rid, you dodged a bullet alright, block her every where and move on ,she's the other guys problem now and she'll probably end up wrecking his head too and doing the dirt on him.

peckerhead

+1. It's not a "French thing", she's just a headwrecker. And my hunch is that she's probably not telling you half of what happened with Juan. Forget her and move on.

The_Valeyard

Forget. Move on. Dont let her play you. You deserve better.

bob dylan

Thanks guys, I know logically that this is a blessing in disguise that it happened now instead of 4 years into the relationship, but when the emotions are raw you dont think straight. I suppose im just dissapppinted in her character because i thought she was an awesome person and would of never thought she would do this, and we had such good pans for her to live in Ireland, I was getting her a job lined up and everything, and we withstanded 1 year of long distance already. And for all that just to be thrown away for a guy she doesnt even know and it only took her like 2 days to completely make a 180 in her and my future life plans is what cuts deep. I hope not all girls are like this or i will join the preisthood!!!

bee06

Yeah, you dodged a bullet. She's a total head wreak. Don't absolve her to the responsibility of cheating on you either. This Spanish guy didn't make her cheat on you. She chose to. He did you a favour.

And no, not all women are like this. Don't write all women off because of one idiot.

Neyite

Just be aware that when her and her 'destiny' go awry, she'll possibly come crawling back when he's cheated on her too. But you've learned a couple of valuable things from this experience: She's a cheat. And you are not a mug.

There are lots of lovely women out there who would never dream of cheating.

leggo

Yeah man, one day you're gonna look back at her using the word 'destiny' and all that fluffy language as if her average life is a movie, and you'll laugh and thank god this happened. Run a mile from people like this, even if they're really hot it's never worth it. You're an accessory to them, nothing more, like a necklace they quite like at times.

bob dylan

Haha thanks, i think thats one of the reasons why i was do hung up about it, because she is very good looking. But now that i look back on our relationship it was never going to work out anyway!

leggo

I totally get it man. My mate gets caught in the same quagmire constantly. He's always dating these stunning Brazilian girls who are drop dead but then start giving him the runaround. I think he gets dragged back because they'd likely be hotter than the Irish girls he'd typically date, but there's a reason for that. I think Brazilian lads would spot this stuff a mile off, hence them messing around lads from different countries. And I'm not being anti-non-national here, it'd likely work the same way around but we'd know what to look out for with Irish people. It's just that if we don't know or understand someone's culture we may make allowances for behaviour on that basis when, in truth, crazy is just crazy and it's a universal language.

bob dylan

Well i think in france, there is more cheating and this huge influence on being passionate about love and dont bother using your head, only use the heart kind of ****. Its emotionally exhausting to be honest hahah

Pawwed Rig

Neyite wrote: »

she'll possibly come crawling back when he's cheated on her too.

I see nothing in the OP to indicate the Spanish guy has cheated on anyone or done anything wrong so not sure why you are blaming him here. It is the French girl who has behaved badly in this instance.

Neyite

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

I see nothing in the OP to indicate the Spanish guy has cheated on anyone or done anything wrong so not sure why you are blaming him here. It is the French girl who has behaved badly in this instance.

I misread it then - It read like he's had girlfriends during this time and she had a boyfriend. I wasn't blaming him though - it takes two to cheat after all, but if he was single then he owes nobody anything.