My life feels over - is it?

Pbardsley2017

Hi,

I was looking for somewhere to post and would like to hear some people's thoughts on everything thats going on in my life. I feel that things are kind-of as bad as they can get at the moment - but would like to hear what you think. Your honesty is appreciated. Thanks.

So first off I'm a guy - nearly in my mid-30s. I was living at home close to hitting my 30s before I met this beautiful woman and we started living together. Everything was rosey as most relationships are in the first year. In the second year things were ok and in the 3rd year things got a might bit harder (alot was self inflicted though). Well long story short, our relationship has broke down. I moved out. She's still there....but not for much longer I suspect (a few more months)
I made a major mistake in moving out and leaving her alone and wanted to go back but this was not happening. So, to cut a long story short --> relationship over.

So I am dealing (or trying to deal) everyday with that loss and the fact that we had planned to get married and pretty soon (we were engaged) and wanted to live our lives together.

So anyway...I moved back home. I am now in my mid 30's and living at home. It's so depressing being so old and living at home. (...but wait...there's a reason....)

After moving out (and the relationship ending), I was on the verge of buying my own place and had all the high hopes of getting a new pad when this happened....January just gone....my health has deteriorated somewhat. I went to my GP with muscle weakness in my leg. He suspected the worst and referred me to a neurologist. The neurologist doesn't know what it is but is not ruling out all the conditions like MS, ALS, etc. He did see physical signs that indicate there is a neurological problem present and, as my walking has got a little bit worse in the past few months, that's further evidence of something not quite right.

I had multiple tests done including MRI's of the brain and spine...all clear...and next week have to have a spinal tap done. I have to, after that, have a nerve conduction test done.

So, with the health problem, I had to cancel moving out and staying at home - and I suspect I will be at home for a long time (unfortunately).

I read some posts from people who believe their life is over due to a relationship breakup. I really do feel their pain as the woman I was with, I loved her very much and still do. To this day I would give up or do anything for her. I am in no way devoid of any wrong-doing in the relationship so although I would absolutely love to get back together, the main thing now is her happiness. But anyway, relationships breakup all the time unfortunately and are painful but can be gotten over. I was always told the old adage of your health is your wealth. Well I'm thinking mine is heading down the toilet right now.

So at present I feel like I have lost everything. 2 years ago, I was in a loving relationship with the only woman I could ever see myself being with and everything was looking good. Fast-forward to today....everything has gone south.

I'm not so much an emotional guy, but at times I can't help it but cry and think of ending the whole thing. One of my relations passed away a few years ago and I do think would it be better to just end it and go see that person if there is another place where the dead are. Maybe silly thinking...but it is what it is.

Am I right to think this way? What do you think? Sorry for the long text. I just have a lot to say and, right now, feel quite lost.

Thanks

PB

Seek professional help. Not some mindfulness life coaching crap, but proper help from a qualified psychologist. Urgently.

myshirt

Op, this situation has come to pass, not come to stay. There is light at the end of the tunnel, and while you might think it is an incoming train, it is not.

Reading your post, there are at least 10 things you can focus on that are very positive. Count your blessings, forcibly write them out, meet up with friends, and move on from this woman. Remember, there are two ways of looking at things. A man can say 'Lads, I am absolutely flat broke, it's over, I'm f#cked', or he can say 'I'm just having cashflow problems'. It's all about how you view things.

Best wishes.

snowflaker

Yes, go to your GP get referred to see someone.

punisher5112

As above seek proper help and advice.

I would also suggest speaking with your family and very close friends.

Its better out then kept in.

Best of luck.

castletownman

I really feel for you OP. Genuinely.

But talk to someone face to face. Even if it's just a good mate. I bet you even feel better posting here. Just remember there is always someone in the world that loves you no matter how ****e your life might seem.

Pbardsley2017

Thank you

Zaph

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