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Girlfriend falling into depression and I am moving away

  • 20-04-2017 6:43am
    #1
    mectavba
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 856 ✭✭✭


    My girlfriend and I have been together over a year now. We both live in a developing country and met here. It has been quite an intense year, she has suffered family bereavements and had other family issues. I think it is fair to see we are far closer than your standard 1 year relationship.

    My job situation has been uncertain for the past while, but in the last 2 weeks I found out I have a new job and will be moving to another country in the region. Professionally, it is a great opportunity and the options where I am have ran out. This has all happened very quickly and been very emotional with my girlfriend. We are caught between being sad that we will be away from each other and trying to enjoy the last days together.

    However, I am getting very worried about her. She has told me that she has suffered bouts of depression in the past and says that me being there for her this year prevented her from slipping into another bout. Yesterday she said she could feel herself slipping again.

    I am really at a loss as to what to do. Even if I was staying, I have never had to help a loved one with depression. We are going to see each other every 3 months and from my point of view, while I will miss her, it is manageable. But I am worried about her in the time in between. The fact that I am moving away makes me feel completely helpless. I also feel very guilty, as I am the one responsible for putting her through this. 

    I'd appreciate any advice from anyone who may have experienced something similar. Thanks.


Comments

  • #2
    listermint
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 34,216 ✭✭✭✭listermint


    Why is she not going with you.


  • #3
    m-a-i-
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 159 ✭✭m-a-i-


    I'd suffer from depression a good bit and while I've been ok for the last 6 months I do see myself slipping from time to time so I can understand how she feels with you not being there 
    That being said it can't be up to you and you alone how her depressive episodes come. You have to look after yourself as much as you look after her. 
    Maybe try and encourage her to go to see someone, talk to a GP, join meet ups ...anything to keep her busy while you are aware. 
    Could you organise a skype date once a week? I used to do that with my boyfriend when I'm away and it helps so so so much 
    Look after yourself OP x


  • #4
    mectavba
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 856 ✭✭✭mectavba


    Thanks for the replies.

    She is not coming with me for a couple of reasons. One she has her own job and career here and also the place I am going is quite insecure and it is not possible to bring partners. 

    M-a-i thanks for the advice, I have encouraged her to talking to someone but she does not seem keen. Although she has a family friend that she turns to in these times that she says really helps her. 

    Skype dates and that sort of thing will hopefully help and we'll figure out some routine.

    Cheers


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