things we tell ourselves

Robsweezie

"I've got to spray this bottle of chemicals all over me to appear more attractive"

Jack the Stripper

I'm mad.

Zaph

Robsweezie wrote: »

"I've got to spray this bottle of chemicals all over me to appear more attractive"

Keep spraying, you'll get there eventually.

Noveight

I'll go to bed after one more episode. Five hours sleep is loads.

s4uv3

Robsweezie wrote: »

"I've got to spray this bottle of chemicals all over me to appear more attractive"

It does nothing for your appearance, but it does make you smell more attractive.

Science innit.

Your Face

That squirrel isn't Napoleon III.

Even though everything has a cause and everything happens in the only way it could have, we are each still absolutely responsible for our thoughts and actions.

"I look so tall in this!"

"Nobody will notice if I don't wear a bra"

"I'll just finish this chapter"

GBX

I'm only having one more pint ...

Why did i end up in a nightclub. I'm dying

"I don't care what others think"

Outlaw Pete

I'll start tomorrow.

Jack the Stripper

This bra really gives me a G cup.

corner of hells

I'm not drinking shots.

For Forks Sake

Taco fries will make for an excellent dining experience.

Ulysses Gaze

I will win the Euromillions tomorrow.

Robsweezie

"no, that won't be enough food and im starving, get another portion, yeah I'll eat the lot and it wont be left to the dogs"

"i should read more, but sure look whats on telly/ Netflix"

"i will have an ed sheeran free day tomorrow"

Atoms for Peace

So far so good.

Bambi985

"Diet starts on Monday"

"Size doesn't matter"

Jack the Stripper

Stop buying all these dresses

Valentina

Everything is going to be okay

Armchair Andy

That's not a follow through thats just my sweaty arsecrack.

paleoperson

T'will all seem better in the morning.

Jack the Stripper

Yes my arse looks big in this, I'm a kardashian now.

The Backwards Man

One more cup of coffee and then I'll start.

Mountainsandh

"it doesn't matter".

"I'm going to bed early tonight"

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

"Everyone else is the problem. You're perfectly rational. Even though you've stopped talking to literally everyone who's ever met you, they're wrong and you're right"

PARlance

s4uv3 wrote: »

It does nothing for your appearance, but it does make you smell more attractive.

Science innit.

Not if the bottle of chemicals has fake tan innit.

PARlance

5 hours sleep will be fine.

(5 hours later) I need to get to sleep earlier tonight

Ciderswigger

He must not have gotten my last text. I'll send another one.

Jack the Stripper

I need more free stuff let's keep blogging.

Glenster

I work better under pressure so I'm being more efficient by leaving that important thing until later.

Surreptitious

Size 16 isn't fat. I will eat salad forever.

valoren

I can quit any time I want!

joe40

I'll start tomorrow!
(Insert exercise program, diet, harder working etc)

Winterlong

Did I really say that?

Sam Kade

If I go as soon as the traffic light turns red I'll get through before the cars at the other side start to move.

I'm not good enough.

I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Sure aren't you grand as you are.

Everything works out in the end.

Noddyholder

I am sorry.

Cee-Jay-Cee

I'm still alive, nothing else matters.

Robsweezie

Tomorrow I will do task A,B,C and D, get them out of the way nice and early

Tomorrow 11:30 - "is it too late to start A?"

Graces7

If..... if... if....

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

"Everyone doesn't hate you. Everyone hasn't met you yet"

osarusan

"My kids got so much easter chocolate, they'll never notice if I steal some."

(My daughter, from experience, immediately made a list of all she got!)