Honesty or Fakeness

badabing106

Which do you value more in your fellow Human being?

I d guess most people would say they value honesty more, than why is it that so much more people seem fake rather than honest. Why are they acting false if not to serve the perceived necessity for it

I put it to you. Falseness is more valued than honesty otherwise it would not be more prevalent


Do you know many unique honest non fake people?

1 out of ten people?

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

I have lived a relatively long life, so far, and have met very few false people and a multitude of honest people. I just don't agree with your basic premise at all?

Father Hernandez

What's your opinion OP?

suicide_circus

What stupidity is this?

Donald Trump

Fake news
Fake thread
Fake OP

badabing106

Father Hernandez wrote: »

What's your opinion OP?

I think a genuine, authentic, and honest person is rare.

Roy keane is one of them. No falseness, no trying to appeal to other people's vanity etc

PARlance

badabing106 wrote: »

I think a genuine, authentic, and honest person is rare.

Roy keane is one of them. No falseness, no trying to appeal to other people's vanity etc

Having millions in the bank helps a lot. It's easy to be genuine, authentic and honest (being a pr1ck along the way sometimes) when money isn't a worry.

badabing106

PARlance wrote: »

Having millions in the bank helps a lot. It's easy to be genuine, authentic and honest (being a pr1ck along the way sometimes) when money isn't a worry.

The millions in the bank should have changed him, but it didn't. Brutally honest all the time. Credit to him, that's if people credit honesty of course?

Estrellita

Fake or false people tend to attract like for like. People that rather honesty in others really wouldn't stand for their bulls.hit, I certainly wouldn't.

I would distance myself from people like that, because I don't think they live in the same world as the rest of us. It would be too hard to not call them on it all the time. "So why are you full of s.hit?" would be too easy to say every time they open their mouths.

Why the interest / thread btw?

frag420

Honesty is probably one of the best traits a person can have!!

It's even better if you can fake it...

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

I have found that people who are brutally honest seem to be more invested in the brutal part than the honesty part. And that they tend to attribute people disliking them to the honesty part and not the brutal part and wear it as a badge of pride. And that they have a definition of 'fake' that often extends to 'failing to express every negative opinion immediately, and claiming to like or not be bothered by the things which dislike and am bothered by'.

One man's fake is another man's manners and upbeat attitude like.

badabing106

Evelyn Brave Fawn wrote: »

I have found that people who are brutally honest seem to be more invested in the brutal part than the honesty part. And that they tend to attribute people disliking them to the honesty part and not the brutal part and wear it as a badge of pride. And that they have a definition of 'fake' that often extends to 'failing to express every negative opinion immediately, and claiming to like or not be bothered by the things which dislike and am bothered by'.

One man's fake is another man's manners and upbeat attitude like.

Go on then. Name more brutally honest people in the Media?

DontThankMe

Fake it til you make it

The_Valeyard

I think we are all a mixture of both. Say honest to friends and family. Maybe not so at work, depending on the job, like if you were in customer service or public sector, you are not going to tell people what you really think about them.

I prefer the honest approach myself, and I do think Irish people have no problem telling you what they think, but would be polite about it.

Kinda like the rule of someone offers you tea, you have to say no, at least twice.

PARlance

badabing106 wrote: »

The millions in the bank should have changed him, but it didn't. Brutally honest all the time. Credit to him, that's if people credit honesty of course?

You know him well enough to know he's brutally honest all the time?

Don't get me wrong, I'm a fan. The millions probably did change him, he wasn't as outspoken in his early career. And I'm fairly sure that he plays on his honesty from time to time, it keeps him in lucrative TV gigs.

If the same guy was working in a factory he would probably learn to bite his lip.

snowflaker

Tact. It's all about tact.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

badabing106 wrote: »

Go on then. Name some more or less honest people in the Media?

I honestly (!) don't pay enough attention to what retired sports players or whoever the fcuk are going on about to be qualified to answer that question. And you're asking me to assess the character of strangers, who work in a field where your personality is a brand that you curate, people like Keane just as much as everyone else.

I can name you like seven genuine people off the top of my head though but you wouldn't know any of them, I met them by going outside.

badabing106

PARlance wrote: »

You know him well enough to know he's brutally honest all the time?

Don't get me wrong, I'm a fan. The millions probably did change him, he wasn't as outspoken in his early career. And I'm fairly sure that he plays on his honesty from time to time, it keeps him in lucrative TV gigs.

If the same guy was working in a factory he would probably learn to bite his lip.

NO HE WOULD NOT

Glenster

I'm going to be sexist here and say that I've only ever heard women going on about people being 'fake'.

as a bloke I take people as they are, you can be nice, a d*ck, a snake, whatever. But I'd never call anyone 'fake', you are who you are.

Widdershins

Brutal honesty is understandably not valued as much as falseness that is designed to spare someone's feelings. I value honesty but it needs to be tempered with good judgement and an ability to present the truth gently.

badabing106

Glenster wrote: »

I'm going to be sexist here and say that I've only ever heard women going on about people being 'fake'.

as a bloke I take people as they are, you can be nice, a d*ck, a snake, whatever. But I'd never call anyone 'fake', you are who you are.

You have never had people give you fake compliments on your clothes, fake compliments on your car, fake compliments on your friends or family, you never had people give you fake compliments on you?

badabing106

Evelyn Brave Fawn wrote: »

I can name you like seven genuine people off the top of my head though but you wouldn't know any of them, I met them by going outside.

And what did they teach you?

badabing106

Evelyn Brave Fawn wrote: »

I have found that people who are brutally honest seem to

But say if someone was to comment on you apperience? Nobody knows what you look like?

If you were ugly, honesty would be frowned upon. If you were a a super model and made people horny, honesty would be frowned on again

annascott

We can only be really honest with our friends, and even then we have to be careful not to insult their partners/children/families etc. Unfortunately, most of us would not keep our jobs without a little fake schmoozing and feigned interest in work colleagues.

Noddyholder

Donald Trump wrote: »

Fake news
Fake thread
Fake OP

Says Donald trump

The_Valeyard

snowflaker wrote: »

Tact. It's all about tact.

Yeah that sums it up nicely alright.

Samaris

“Definitely that kind of owner, he thought. Self-made man proud of his handiwork. Confuses bluffness and honesty with merely being rude. I wouldn't mind betting a dollar that he thinks he can tell a man's character by testing the firmness of his handshake and looking deeply into his eyes.â€

- Terry Pratchett, Maskerade.

It's true too. Way too many people brag about how they call a spade a spade and if people don't like it they can do the other thing because "I am me and unapologetic!"

Most've them are just plain rude and have never had the basic cop-on to learn how act with a modicum of courtesy to another person. Either that or they're just too lazy to and dress it up as "I'm blunt and honest" (no, hun, that was being rude and ignorant).

I value honesty. But I value honesty when it's being honest and not a ..rather dishonest cover-up for being a dick.

Also, that's a ridiculous polling option. Who is going to say "Yes, I value fakeness and lies!" Talk about a leading question. Could there not be an option for something more nuanced like "Honesty and courtesy in expressing it" or "Basic manners are always nice".

"I'm brutally honest, I tell it like it is!"

=

"I'll say whatever I want at whatever cost to other peoples feelings because I feel entitled to express whatever offensive opinion I want to, and that doesn't make me obnoxious, it makes be BETTER than anyone else because I'm not fake".

Most people can be honest and not alienate everyone around them, and what some people consider fakeness is diplomacy, as mentioned above. It's the "Tell it like it is" crowd who pride themselves on being boorish that like to paint their brand of 'honesty' as a virtue.

Outlaw Pete

Honesty when it comes to serious issues which I deserve to know the truth about.

A little fakeness is apprecaited though if it means I don't have to listen to a whole load of information that is none of my concern.

Question: Wanna go to see a film?
Response: Well, I'd rather not as my hemorrhoids are giving me awful gip this evening and I've just applied some cream.

Nah, just tell me you have to have an early night and leave it at that thanks very much.

Fakeness for no reason bothers me though. There's a time and place for honesty and also for being somewhat fake and the ability to decipher the two is what makes people either sound or a fcuking nightmare.

Hannibal_Smith

I think it's more or less been covered, but if fakeness is under the umbrella tact and honest falls under blunt, than neither.

On the flip side if it's dishonesty or deceit that you are addressing under the title fakeness, then nothing grinds my gears more and I would absolutely go for honesty in those circumstances.

Turtyturd

Candie wrote: »

"I'm brutally honest, I tell it like it is!"

=

"I'll say whatever I want at whatever cost to other peoples feelings because I feel entitled to express whatever offensive opinion I want to, and that doesn't make me obnoxious, it makes be BETTER than anyone else because I'm not fake".

Most people can be honest and not alienate everyone around them, and what some people consider fakeness is diplomacy, as mentioned above. It's the "Tell it like it is" crowd who pride themselves on being boorish that like to paint their brand of 'honesty' as a virtue.

This pretty much describes them but I would add that they have a very hard time accepting such brutal honesty when the tables are turned and they're on the receiving end.

Winterlong

"I say what I like and I bloody well like what I say."

Amirani

I try to be as honest as possible for the most part, but not if it's going to hurt someone a lot or irreparably damage our relationship. So generally stick to reasonable and constructive honesty and I think if people realise you're being genuine then they'll appreciate it.

I don't like fakeness but I can understand it sometimes; a lot of it comes from insecurity. I'm certainly guilty of it myself from time to time, though I do try to avoid it.

One eyed Jack

badabing106 wrote: »

I think a genuine, authentic, and honest person is rare.

Roy keane is one of them. No falseness, no trying to appeal to other people's vanity etc

Try being just as honest with Roy Keane about his attitude, and you'll see how much precious Royston actually appreciates honesty. You'll be fine with Roy as long as you're kissing his arse.

That's the difference between what you're presenting as a choice, and a reality that is far more nuanced - people who practice what they call brutal honesty, never appreciate being held to their own standard, they say they have no time for people who are fake, whilst surrounding themselves with people who only want to be around them because of their social status. As soon as Roy disappears off the radar, as many of his type do, will he still appreciate when people refer to him as a washed up has-been? I doubt it.

Genuine authentic my arse :rolleyes:

freshpopcorn

Their's a time and place for both!

Samaris

Oh, "I tell it like it is" is a good pointer towards someone that's probably going to irritate me. I have found that "I tell it like it is" = "I tell it as my particular blinkered view sees it and I am not going to see anyone else's side because I am, ofc, always 100% right once I've got my "like it is" hat on".

Romantic Rose

I say what I mean and I mean what I say.

I have no time for bull**** or phony baloney but at the same time I hate rudeness or thinking you have the right to say what you want to people, just because you have an opinion. Just straight talking

Glenster

badabing106 wrote: »

You have never had people give you fake compliments on your clothes, fake compliments on your car, fake compliments on your friends or family, you never had people give you fake compliments on you?

I've had people give me compliments;

From people I cared about I appreciated it.

From people I hated I smiled through gritted teeth and and said thanks while thinking "your day will come mate"

From people I nothinged I nothinged it.

You'd go mad constantly theorising about the sincerity of someones stated opinions about you. And ultimately you would never be able to prove it either way. So its the very definition of a waste of your life.

Murrisk

I like tact over either fakeness or strident honesty. I've heard "I'm just being honest" attached to the most odious statements down the years, as if that negates the nastiness.

HalloweenJack

I prefer honest people.

Fakeness also has a way of getting back to you. Either people are terrible at it, their guard eventually slips or you hear they're doing fake ****.

me_right_one

badabing106 wrote: »

You have never had people give you fake compliments on your clothes, fake compliments on your car, fake compliments on your friends or family, you never had people give you fake compliments on you?

I don't know what world you're living in, but no, I have never received a fake compliment on anything in my life. Who goes around doing that?

fizzypish

badabing106 wrote: »

NO HE WOULD NOT

Then he wouldn't be working in that factory for long or end up being one of those unyielding people that tend to make life difficult for people around them over trivial ****.

Graces7

Evelyn Brave Fawn wrote: »

I have found that people who are brutally honest seem to be more invested in the brutal part than the honesty part. And that they tend to attribute people disliking them to the honesty part and not the brutal part and wear it as a badge of pride. And that they have a definition of 'fake' that often extends to 'failing to express every negative opinion immediately, and claiming to like or not be bothered by the things which dislike and am bothered by'.

One man's fake is another man's manners and upbeat attitude like.

Was my thought exactly.. Honesty can be tempered with kindness and mercy whereas fake cannot be but fake.