Course is making me feel miseeable

cinnamony

Hi all,

I started a postgrad course in September which I have been more than unhappy with. It looked nice on paper but its definitely not whats advertised to be, everyone complains that they haven't learned anything from this course and I feel the same way.

The only exception being computing modules because I go out of my way for those, but putting in extra time in these modules meant I couldnt do well in some of the others...so despite having good grades in my computing my overall average is low...

This course has been such a let down I havent been able to sleep since I started it, I am absolutely exhausted and even my family have comented on it. Because of lack of sleep I keep getting sick (physically) and mentally. I tried to get an appointment with my psychiatrist but was told I'd have to wait 6 months or more, I also tried to get councelling from the college but was ignored. I am absolutely miseeable, I cry everyday can't sleep at night...

I haven't seen my friends in months and can't even keep up with my exercise routine (which I need to help me sleep) because I am essentially doing work for this degree from the time I wake up till the time I go to sleep. I am almost graduating (at the end of May) but because the course is so badly structured I have a ton of assignments plus exams still left to do. I dont get any feedback nothing so I am left to wonder how I'm doing in the course. On top of all of this they have assigned someone with a bad reputation as my supervisor for my thesis, because of this I have fallen behind a lot and have basically nothing done...even though I have complained about it and tried to get him to do his work.

I know there's 'only' a month left but to me it feels like an eternity and due to all of these reasons I don't know if I'm going to graduate with a good grade which makes me feel like an even bigger failure as my family always put a lot of value on my grades... I was just wondering what should I do? Keep going or drop out?

Airyfairy12

While in college a number of students in my course got outside help on their thesis because our tutor was useless, its something to look into if you can. You'd be crazy to drop out now, youve put so much money, time and work into this which will be all for nothing if you leave the course a month before finishing. Make an appointment with a career guidance counsellor to talk things through, theyre usually employed in VEC centres or your local intreo office would have information on making an appointment.
You dont need to wait to see a mental health counsellor, google counsellors in your area and email or ring them for an appointment.

Try to stay positive, the hard work will pay off.

cinnamony

Airyfairy12 wrote: »

While in college a number of students in my course got outside help on their thesis because our tutor was useless, its something to look into if you can. You'd be crazy to drop out now, youve put so much money, time and work into this which will be all for nothing if you leave the course a month before finishing. Make an appointment with a career guidance counsellor to talk things through, theyre usually employed in VEC centres or your local intreo office would have information on making an appointment.
You dont need to wait to see a mental health counsellor, google counsellors in your area and email or ring them for an appointment.

Try to stay positive, the hard work will pay off.

Hi Thanks!
Unfortunately an external supervisor is not an option for my course as they have to be appointed by the school. I'll check out the career counsellor it would be really nice to get some advice.
The thing is I don't know if it will be worth it anyway, I finished last semester close to a 2.1 but have no idea how I'm doing this semester as like I said we get no feedback or anything even though we have assignments every week...

Airyfairy12

cinnamony wrote: »

Hi Thanks!
Unfortunately an external supervisor is not an option for my course as they have to be appointed by the school. I'll check out the career counsellor it would be really nice to get some advice.
The thing is I don't know if it will be worth it anyway, I finished last semester close to a 2.1 but have no idea how I'm doing this semester as like I said we get no feedback or anything even though we have assignments every week...

Could it be that youre doing well so they feel no reason to bring anything up with you?
Have you told your tutors that you need feedback? What if a group of students in your year could get together and make an appointment or have a meeting with tutors, a group of you could arrange to meet some morning and approach the tutors together, theres strength in numbers. We did something similar in college, certain tutors in my course who weren't teaching us anything yet handing out assignments with no instruction and then giving low marks, you have to push to be heard.


Technically we were only allowed a college appointed supervisor too but it didnt stop students receiving help from elsewhere, ive friends from other colleges and courses that did the same. I assume they were either connected or paying people for the help, either way they all did very well in their thesis. Its just a thought, if you can find somebody.

It will be worth it, regardless of the mark you get having a postgrad will really stand by you and youve worked so hard, you cant throw it all away at the last leg. If you do that youve no chance of passing and the last 9 months and I assume thousands paid will be a total waste. If the tutors won't listen then go to the programme chairperson, if that doesnt work go to the head of department. You paid for the course, the tutors are expected to do their job.

rainbowtrout

It sounds really crap for you at the moment OP, but just keep going. You have a month left and you will have a qualification at the end of it.

Even while you are overwhelmed with work at the moment and can't do whatever exercise you normally do, force yourself to take a break every evening, even if it is just for 20-30 minutes and go for a walk. It mightn't be enough but it will be something.

There probably isn't a whole lot you can do about your supervisor so just keep plugging away as best you can and get the assignments done to the best of your ability.

Taltos

If you were just a month in I'd tell you to drop it. But with a month to go were you to leave now while you might feel huge relief there's a good chance it would be short lived and for the next few years you'd end up beating yourself up with feelings of regret.

Just count down the days and focus on some breathing exercises when those feelings hit you. Before you know you'll be through the other side. There are some numbers of support groups on the charter of this forum if you want to ring someone to talk. Just verbalising how you are feeling might help.

Beyond that just focus on small tasks, plans for today, ensure you've a walk or something else in there to reward yourself and focus on the positive here. Despite how much they've made this course a pain you've stuck it out and you really are just at the finish line.

LynnGrace

Nothing much to add to the good advice already given OP, do mind yourself. It sounds like you have worked very hard and are continuing to do so. It probably seems a bit overwhelming just now, as the end is in sight.

Mind your health, as pp said, take time out deliberately every day to get a walk or whatever. Make sure that you eat properly.

Your family are proud of you, don't let that become a pressure. They are there for you. If you have anyone to chat to, do that. Not sure whereabouts in the country you are, but some places in Dublin offer low cost counselling, I believe. It's a shame that your college didn't help in that respect.

Take care and all the best.

Teyla Emmagan

One last big push OP. You are nearly there. Try and put all the negative thinking aside and focus all your energy into finishing what's left. Put an hour aside for exercise each day, eat really well and basically timetable each day out between now and the end of May.

And get on top of your thesis thing. No matter what anyone says about the tutor make sure you have covered your side of things. And then report him up if he's delaying you.

Set yourself short, achievable goals. This will help you mentally if your mood is bad. You can look back every day and feel good about what you have done. Just break it down into achievable chunks and push forward.

You also need to connect with your friends and family, preferably people outside your course. It will give you perspective and pull you out of yourself a bit.

We all get drained. This is just a bad patch. But 6 weeks and you're through. 6 weeks! You will do great.

cinnamony

Hi All,

Thank you very much for all of your helpful advice.
We have spoken to the coordinators of the course and asked about feedback,
we got told they would fix it but they never do even though we mentioned it to them a lot. What's happening here is a lot like Airyfairy mentioned, my college doesn't have money so they put tutors in who are overworked/dont want to teach us/not appropriate for the subject etc... and as a result they give us low marks. We had professors who only gave people with certain Undergrads good marks and gave everyone else very low marks.

I think a lot of what I feel is just exhaustion and also fear. I'm scared a 2.2 will make it look like I was lazy and didn't work hard when in reality the course is badly structured and I'm going through a lot of personal issues. I'm doing really well with my projects and the only reason I know this is because I was asked to write an articles/give presentations I'm hoping this will hamper the fall a little if I do get a 2.2... Deep inside I know you are all right and I shouldn't drop out when I got this far!

Ursus Horribilis

Ugh that sounds like a nightmare. It must be so frustrating when nobody's listening to your complaints. I wonder if you'd emailed them, CC'd people higher up and put everything in writing at the time, would it have made a difference? How and ever, you are where you are. Definitely try to finish this out. I think you're being very hard on yourself. In my opinion, even though a 2:2 may not be what you wanted, it's still a hell of a lot better than the alternative. At least you'll have something to show for the year. It's got to be better than starting but not finishing the masters.

As Taltos suggested earlier, try giving one of the support groups listed a call. The Samaritans etc. Sometimes just talking to someone can help a lot. Also, please try to reconnect with your friends. It looks like this course has consumed you and that's never good.

Airyfairy12

Theres nothing wrong with a 2.2, Ive never heard of anyone being held back by a 2.2 grade.

cinnamony

Ursus Horribilis wrote: »

Ugh that sounds like a nightmare. It must be so frustrating when nobody's listening to your complaints. I wonder if you'd emailed them, CC'd people higher up and put everything in writing at the time, would it have made a difference? How and ever, you are where you are. Definitely try to finish this out. I think you're being very hard on yourself. In my opinion, even though a 2:2 may not be what you wanted, it's still a hell of a lot better than the alternative. At least you'll have something to show for the year. It's got to be better than starting but not finishing the masters.

As Taltos suggested earlier, try giving one of the support groups listed a call. The Samaritans etc. Sometimes just talking to someone can help a lot. Also, please try to reconnect with your friends. It looks like this course has consumed you and that's never good.

To be honest I'm not sure who else we could talk to as we've spoken to the co-ordinator and the department itself. I found out this course has a very high drop out rate and considering its been on for years now that should have been alarm bell noises for anyone higher than that, I would imagine...

It has absolutely consumed me, but I can't take any time off to go out or anything otherwise I won't be able to finish my assignments on time. I try to communicate with them but even that is hard as I am always doing something related to the course.

Airyfairy12 wrote: »

Theres nothing wrong with a 2.2, Ive never heard of anyone being held back by a 2.2 grade.

Really? I have always been told that companies won't take anyone with a 2.2, from my experience they do seem to be always looking for a 2.1 even for entry roles

Ursus Horribilis

So what's the alternative? A gap in your CV and a course you couldn't finish? Not finishing a course out can be an even bigger problem than a 2.2. I honestly can't see any advantages to you dropping out this close to the end. You can always regroup afterwards and try something else. It's a piece of paper, even if it isn't what you want.

PREG1967

cinnamony wrote: »

Hi all,

I started a postgrad course in September which I have been more than unhappy with. It looked nice on paper but its definitely not whats advertised to be, everyone complains that they haven't learned anything from this course and I feel the same way.

The only exception being computing modules because I go out of my way for those, but putting in extra time in these modules meant I couldnt do well in some of the others...so despite having good grades in my computing my overall average is low...

This course has been such a let down I havent been able to sleep since I started it, I am absolutely exhausted and even my family have comented on it. Because of lack of sleep I keep getting sick (physically) and mentally. I tried to get an appointment with my psychiatrist but was told I'd have to wait 6 months or more, I also tried to get councelling from the college but was ignored. I am absolutely miseeable, I cry everyday can't sleep at night...

I haven't seen my friends in months and can't even keep up with my exercise routine (which I need to help me sleep) because I am essentially doing work for this degree from the time I wake up till the time I go to sleep. I am almost graduating (at the end of May) but because the course is so badly structured I have a ton of assignments plus exams still left to do. I dont get any feedback nothing so I am left to wonder how I'm doing in the course. On top of all of this they have assigned someone with a bad reputation as my supervisor for my thesis, because of this I have fallen behind a lot and have basically nothing done...even though I have complained about it and tried to get him to do his work.

I know there's 'only' a month left but to me it feels like an eternity and due to all of these reasons I don't know if I'm going to graduate with a good grade which makes me feel like an even bigger failure as my family always put a lot of value on my grades... I was just wondering what should I do? Keep going or drop out?

Sounds like you are doing an MSc in computing, a lot of independent work required for those, i know how you feel but cant say im surprised as i felt the same during mine

cinnamony

Ursus Horribilis wrote: »

So what's the alternative? A gap in your CV and a course you couldn't finish? Not finishing a course out can be an even bigger problem than a 2.2. I honestly can't see any advantages to you dropping out this close to the end. You can always regroup afterwards and try something else. It's a piece of paper, even if it isn't what you want.

Of course you're right, it seems senseless. I'm just worried I won't be able to finish everything on time and possibly burning out and then worried about the aftermath (ie being judged for a 2.2). Quite frankly my mind feels like a blur, I don't remember feeling this way about 2.2s prior to this...

PREG1967 wrote: »

Sounds like you are doing an MSc in computing, a lot of independent work required for those, i know how you feel but cant say im surprised as i felt the same during mine

That would be correct, I don't mind independent work as I did that a lot for my undergrad and I got good grades and felt okay in general. Its just the amount of lectures, commuting and exams on top of it I'm so close to graduation but still have 5 projects and 3 exams to do so I'm very concerned.

PREG1967

cinnamony wrote: »

Of course you're right, it seems senseless. I'm just worried I won't be able to finish everything on time and possibly burning out and then worried about the aftermath (ie being judged for a 2.2). Quite frankly my mind feels like a blur, I don't remember feeling this way about 2.2s prior to this...



That would be correct, I don't mind independent work as I did that a lot for my undergrad and I got good grades and felt okay in general. Its just the amount of lectures, commuting and exams on top of it I'm so close to graduation but still have 5 projects and 3 exams to do so I'm very concerned.

I failed some exams so that dragged mine out further until the repeats. If thats not your situation you are better of than i was and many others. Sometimes its hard to see the woods for the trees with the stress of your head in the books but it will all be over v soon and replaced by some new stress and you will come to forget how you felt during your MSc and the only time you will think about your time there is when you look at the cert on your wall and when u go to interviews (in my experience)

cinnamony

PREG1967 wrote: »

I failed some exams so that dragged mine out further until the repeats. If thats not your situation you are better of than i was and many others. Sometimes its hard to see the woods for the trees with the stress of your head in the books but it will all be over v soon and replaced by some new stress and you will come to forget how you felt during your MSc and the only time you will think about your time there is when you look at the cert on your wall and when u go to interviews (in my experience)

By some unknown miracle I have not failed any exams, at least not yet *knock on wood*. I understand what you are saying as it was the same thing with my undergrad and LC, the thing is that I did extremely well for both so I'm not sure what its like to be ''below average'' in terms of grades. That said yes, I am extremely grateful I so far have no repeats to do...

average hero

Hi OP,
Hi OP, for what it's worth, here are my two cents.
I was in a similar situation to you a number of years back. With some assistance, I persevered and kept going.
I would suggest that you keep going. You have 5 weeks or so left. These 5 weeks will be difficult, possibly the most difficult you have had for some time, but keep on truckin'! The temptation is always going to be there to leave the course but take it week by week and day-by-day. If you manage to do 5 (working) days - boom, that's a week. When looking at your exams and projects, as a whole they might seem overwhelming, but pick them off one-by-one. It won't be easy but it will be more manageable. 
There is no benefit to leaving the course at this point in time, but there is benefit to staying on. It will be mentally and physically draining but follow these tips to get through it - they helped me.
1) Go for gentle walks/exercise when you get the chance - take care of yourself
2) Eat right and reduce booze just until after you're done.
3) Look for any support networks that could help you out - student union counsellors etc.
4) Meditate and visualise yourself finishing your course.
You WILL finish it if you put your mind to it. Understandable that you are down at the moment, but chin up and plough on - you're nearly there.
All the best

Teyla Emmagan

Don't be fixating on the 2:2. Your degree only matters for your first job, after that you will be judged only on experience. If you are good at what you do no one will care what you got in your degree. I know plenty of people who got a 2:2 in college and are now running the place. It's all down to ability. Get your degree and get on with your life.

LimeFruitGum

What everyone said. Honestly, I have never been asked about my postgraduate grades. It was enough to just have one.
There is nothing wrong with a second class degree. I have one and I'm doing perfectly fine professionally.
Hang in there.

cinnamony

average hero wrote: »

Hi OP,
Hi OP, for what it's worth, here are my two cents.
I was in a similar situation to you a number of years back. With some assistance, I persevered and kept going.
I would suggest that you keep going. You have 5 weeks or so left. These 5 weeks will be difficult, possibly the most difficult you have had for some time, but keep on truckin'! The temptation is always going to be there to leave the course but take it week by week and day-by-day. If you manage to do 5 (working) days - boom, that's a week. When looking at your exams and projects, as a whole they might seem overwhelming, but pick them off one-by-one. It won't be easy but it will be more manageable. 
There is no benefit to leaving the course at this point in time, but there is benefit to staying on. It will be mentally and physically draining but follow these tips to get through it - they helped me.
1) Go for gentle walks/exercise when you get the chance - take care of yourself
2) Eat right and reduce booze just until after you're done.
3) Look for any support networks that could help you out - student union counsellors etc.
4) Meditate and visualise yourself finishing your course.
You WILL finish it if you put your mind to it. Understandable that you are down at the moment, but chin up and plough on - you're nearly there.
All the best

Hi thank you so much for your advice!
Unfortunately, its not possible for me to do one at a time as they have the same due dates so I have to do them all at once. Being able to do one at a time would be so much better, it would allow me to focus on one topic, then the next etc..
I've just been dividing my time between and sometimes I have to rush but I'm getting everything done on time and don't feel like I have failed anything..
Also I actually have no time to see any counsellors, I get up at 8am and work on course material until 3am every single day, don't really have time to eat either so I usually just make oatmeal and eat fruit. Even when I e-mailed them they didn't reply to me anyway. So I try to take small breaks every 40 minutes and do relaxing activities.. My physical health is suffering immensely but just 2 more weeks and then I will do my best to recover!

Teyla Emmagan wrote: »

Don't be fixating on the 2:2. Your degree only matters for your first job, after that you will be judged only on experience. If you are good at what you do no one will care what you got in your degree. I know plenty of people who got a 2:2 in college and are now running the place. It's all down to ability. Get your degree and get on with your life.

LimeFruitGum wrote: »

What everyone said. Honestly, I have never been asked about my postgraduate grades. It was enough to just have one.
There is nothing wrong with a second class degree. I have one and I'm doing perfectly fine professionally.
Hang in there.

Thank you both, glad to hear 2.2 has not been a negative thing. I guess its just a matter of culture really, in my mom's culture if you don't get good grades you might as well not exist basically so this is how I was bought up. I'm trying my best not to focus on this and do my best all things considered right now. If I have to start lower/work harder for getting a 2.2 then I'm willing to