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Boyfriend issues

  • 15-04-2017 11:43am
    #1
    clo1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 97 ✭✭


    Hi I need some advice please. I have been going out with my fella eight months and we have a great relationship but we are doing a distance relationship and my home place is 4 hours from him nd my workplace is 2 hrs away. I feel like I am always the one driving to him nd we have discussed this and he is honest about himself needing to make more of an effort to drive to me too.i know he has feelings for me that's not the issue but this weekend his weekend plans in cork were cancelled and I offered him to come visit me in my home place. He liked the prospect but didn't come up in the end and stayed at home. Feel a bit poop about it but I'm wondering if I need to be more direct with him(don't wanna be a clingy gf) or is this a bad sign?


Comments

  • #2
    Mars Bar
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 31,973 ✭✭✭✭Mars Bar


    Mod

    Hi clo1,

    I've moved your thread to the Relationship Issues forum as it's more appropriate.
    Please read the R.I charter in full before continuing to post.

    Mars Bar


  • #3
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 14,910 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    I get where you're coming from. If this weekend was a one off incident I wouldn't think much of it. If you have plans for a weekend somewhere and they get cancelled, and unexpected weekend at home relaxing and taking it easy can be nice. So that in itself I wouldn't be worried about. You hadn't plans to see him this weekend anyway, so nothing really changed.

    However, I would expect a firm change from him in future where he does make an effort to travel to you. Obviously you won't be able to see each other every weekend, but the weekends you do the travelling should be shared fairly equally.


  • #4
    leggo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,061 ✭✭✭leggo


    Yeah like unless there's extenuating circumstances (like he works on your days off or he has a kid he has to mind weekends etc), for me it should be pretty much bang on 50-50. Especially when it involves so much effort. I've learned that if things aren't 50-50 in one aspect of the relationship, then that eventually tends to bleed into other areas too until one side is pretty much exasperated. It's worth nipping in the bud right away and don't be afraid to force the issue, even if the outcome is you learning he's not that pushed when he has to make the effort, it's always good to learn these things as early as possible.


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