ex girlfriend

Jdoughlass

hey guys. an ex of mine from 20+ years ago got incontact with me in jan of this year. both of us in our mid 40's. i am single,no kids, she is separated from the husband ,has 2 teenage kids.
first coupla months was constant messaging/texing, 10 -12 hours a day.she spilled her hearth out 2 me, i helped her build her self esteem up ( her words) i asked her 2 meet up for a coffee - she agreed, but arranged 2 meet up a half a dozen times - cancelled all them, usually within an hour or so of meeting. she said early on that she isnt ready 2 date - grand, can be friends.later she said she didnt want 2 meet - up incase i got disapointed - ( if we didnt have sex, even though we are just going 2 be friends ) she has told me she has been dating guys since december? has had one night stands - which she ' allways ' regrets - usually guys in the local bar. she tells me all this and wonders why my messages/texts are less frequent?
should i just go ahead and block her? what was the point in getting in contact with me in the first place? says she does find me handsome/attractive but doesnt want me 2 get my hopes up? head is fryed!

Lead

You're an ego boost for her. She has no intention of meeting you if she's cancelled 6 times. I'd block her and move on.

FineAle

If she really wants to meet up with you, let her arrange the next coffee. She's let you down a half dozen times, you're better than that.

Jdoughlass

thing is - any time i try ignore her - she allways makes me feel really guilty. think maybe the best thing is 2 block her, have a pain in my butt with her cancelling. dont understand the whole ' not dating/shagging' when she is , and then tells me!

FineAle

The art of manipulation

Jdoughlass

yep, thats it i think - and she knows how 2 manipulate! taught this kinda stuff was behind me at this age.

Airyfairy12

Either she's in a dark spot and her heads all over the place or she's manipulating you for an ego boost. Regardless id cut all contact, she's not the person you knew 20 years ago and may be feeling overly nostalgic about her past and trying to relive her youth which you were a large part of.
Going to bars, having one night stands with strangers, connecting with people from 20 years ago sounds like a mid life crises to me. Ignore her.

RhubarbCrumble

Run like the wind OP. She's a head wrecker pure and simple. You've said yourself that your head is already fried from her and that's before anything has ever even happened between the two of you, so can you imagine what it would be like if things went any further? I'd cut all contact with her if I was in your shoes.

ShaShaBear

She's a lot of things OP, but separated isn't one of them

Jdoughlass

yeh, thru shashabear. u know her ? lol

punisher5112

Delete. Move on. Yee broke up for a reason years ago and now she wants to feel young again off on the tiles running off having one night stands.

Run.

ShaShaBear

Jdoughlass wrote: »

yeh, thru shashabear. u know her ? lol

Likely not, but its very classic behaviour from some women we read about here where their marriage is dead or on the rocks and rather than leave, they seek ego boosts and online emotional flings to fill the hole and they keep arranging to meet but chicken out because they don't want hubby knowing. Sounds like this is exactly what she is doing.

Jdoughlass

oh, she is separated from the hubby - he left her for a 26 yr old last year. the whole ' not ready 2 date / no sex ' thing is what fries my head. why say that all the time and yet tell me about dates and one nighters?

punisher5112

Jdoughlass wrote: »

oh, she is separated from the hubby - he left her for a 26 yr old last year. the whole ' not ready 2 date / no sex ' thing is what fries my head. why say that all the time and yet tell me about dates and one nighters?

Trying mind games, jealousy and making you think of her. You have to admit it has worked.

ShaShaBear

Jdoughlass wrote: »

oh, she is separated from the hubby - he left her for a 26 yr old last year. the whole ' not ready 2 date / no sex ' thing is what fries my head. why say that all the time and yet tell me about dates and one nighters?

It's to get you worked up and begging for it. Probably hasn't been with a soul!

Jdoughlass

it has definatley worked,yep. never taught about that she hasnt been with no one- **** that i aint begging.

punisher5112

Jdoughlass wrote: »

it has definatley worked,yep. never taught about that she hasnt been with no one- **** that i aint begging.

You either cut all communication or turn it on her and text wrong name. Oh sorry bout that that bell from few nights ago and so on.....


I would move on.

Jdoughlass

yeh. will do that wrong name thing then move on i guess.

zoobizoo

Why not ask her outright....

"what do you want from me?"

Airyfairy12

Jdoughlass wrote: »

yeh. will do that wrong name thing then move on i guess.

Dont get nasty and reduce to petty immature digs, youre only doing it to hurt her. The fact youre thinking about turning on her that way makes you look just as bad. Either ask her what she wants or cut contact and move on.