AHers beware! Texas to outlaw masturbation!

Fleawuss

http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/mar/13/texas-masturbation-bill-abortion-jessica-farrar

Shocking news at first glance! And at second glance! A lady politician wants Texan men fined $100 per ****. I fear for any AHers who travel to the home of the longhorn. A ten gallon hat will cost you much more than you think! But wait, it's not quite what it seems. Banning **** ismad and the lady is actually targeting laws which target women and putting the shoe / boot on the other foot!

**** on AH!

Dirty Dingus McGee

So this bill was filed in response to men having some opposition to abortion as if the 2 things are even remotely on the same scale.

Dismissing peoples opposition to abortion with nonsense like this is really childish and doesn't exactly do her cause much good.There is really nothing wrong at all with being opposed to abortion it's a perfectly rational way of thinking because something is actually being harmed, whereas having a **** causes no harm to anyone.

Why the **** didn't the legislators tell her to piss off and stop wasting everyones time with nonsense like this.

Pac1Man

I have the hariest hands in all of the land. At least that's what people tell me. I wouldn't know, I'm blind as fkuc.

Boom_Bap

There is a thread on this in the Politics Cafe at the moment

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057726778

Avada

That's going to be one hard rule to enforce...

Homer

"You can't hold hands with god whilst you're masturbating.. "

"Are you addicted to masturbation?" Reach out to me and together we can beat it..
- Jesus

"Are your children playing with lucifers testicles?" The truth about Easter eggs.

Some of the comedy gold from that group "Christians against masturbation"

buried

There is no way Sharleen Spiteri sanctioned a ban on the fap

RustyNut

Puts a whole new meaning to the term **** bank...

BBDBB

is some sort of payment plan available?




*your sight may be at risk if you do not keep up repayments

Outlaw Pete

She (Jessica Farrar) is just trying to be a smart arse... and failing miserably.

To compare the killing of sperm to the killing of an embryo, or a fetus, is laughable, even if done with tongue in cheek.

She should lose her job for filing a satirical bill.

BBDBB

Avada wrote: »

That's going to be one hard rule to enforce...

nah, we can all spot a w*nker when we see one

Avada

Outlaw Pete wrote: »

She (Jessica Farrar) is just trying to be a smart arse... and failing miserably.

To compare the killing of sperm to the killing of an embryo or a fetus is laughable.

Without masturbation, those sperm would probably die a miserable sticky mess in the boxer shorts of many a texan

bodhrandude

So how are they gonna enforce this, barge into public and private toilets or someone's bedroom to catch them in the act.

Avada

BBDBB wrote: »

nah, we can all spot a w*nker when we see one

Suppose so, mirrors are commonplace

RustyNut

BBDBB wrote: »

is some sort of payment plan available?




*your sight may be at risk if you do not keep up repayments

You could probably sort it on the drip.

Avada

bodhrandude wrote: »

So how are they gonna enforce this, barge into public and private toilets or someone's bedroom to catch them in the act.

Dude, you're forgetting the NSA!

BBDBB

Avada wrote: »

Suppose so, mirrors are commonplace

don't rush it now, if its a hundred dollars a pop I want to take my time and get my moneys worth

BBDBB

bodhrandude wrote: »

So how are they gonna enforce this, barge into public and private toilets or someone's bedroom to catch them in the act.

self assessment like tax returns

Avada

BBDBB wrote: »

don't rush it now, if its a hundred dollars a pop I want to take my time and get my moneys worth

Do handjobs count?

Avada

BBDBB wrote: »

self assessment like tax returns

Self assesments are causing the problem in the first place!

BBDBB

Avada wrote: »

Do handjobs count?

theres some technicalities to iron out, is it like mastermind? Ive started so I'll finish, or like the firework code - never return to one once its been lit

BBDBB

Avada wrote: »

Self assesments are causing the problem in the first place!

Full disclosure of how Ive disposed of my assets over the last 12 months

vicwatson

Best get as much in as possible before the ban

RobbingBandit

Having to jail the whole population will be costly seeing as they's all chain yankees and all.

BBDBB

I can't see many fellas looking for the early release programme

Outlaw Pete

They'd clear the national debt within a few months though.

Pherekydes

Dirty Dingus McGee wrote: »

So this bill was filed in response to men having some opposition to abortion as if the 2 things are even remotely on the same scale.

You're right. Abortion murders a single conservative voter; **** is genocide.

Fleawuss

Dirty Dingus McGee wrote: »

Dismissing peoples opposition to abortion with nonsense like this is really childish and doesn't exactly do her cause much good.There is really nothing wrong at all with being opposed to abortion it's a perfectly rational way of thinking because something is actually being harmed, whereas having a **** causes no harm to anyone.

Why the **** didn't the legislators tell her to piss off and stop wasting everyones time with nonsense like this.

Stop! You have neglected to quote the Old Testament! (Testament I said!) Genesis 38:9 Wherein God slew Onan for spilling his seed. And for an indepth analysis and personal witness to the horror of compulsive masturbation: http://www.goodmorals.org/sterile.html

BBDBB

I suppose soldiers would be done for a negligent discharge

Atoms for Peace

There's really only two states in the union, Texas and Taft (this ain't ****ing texas).

jamesbere

I hope this isn't an accumulation over a lifetime so far. I'd be in some serious debt

BBDBB

Would newsagents be named as an accessory?