Joint account or seperate accounts

ronn

My Oh wants us to put both our wages into the one house acc, We already have a joint account that we pay X amout each into that, we use this to pay bills and shopping etc,
I'm not too pushed on the idea, I feel I'd have to explain myself if I wanted to buy something For myself or if I buy something stupid,
Any thoughts or suggestions how you lot do you're finances,
Thanks

Paleblood

ronn wrote: »

My Oh wants us to put both our wages into the one house acc, We already have a joint account that we pay X amout each into that, we use this to pay bills and shopping etc,
I'm not too pushed on the idea, I feel I'd have to explain myself if I wanted to buy something For myself or if I buy something stupid,
Any thoughts or suggestions how you lot do you're finances,
Thanks

Continue with the joint account for paying your rent, bills and joint shopping.

Do not, under any circumstances, pay your entire wage packet into the joint account.

eoinzy2000

Oh god no, don't do that. I know a few people who did that & within a year, one controlling half distributed allowances to the other half. It is a recipe for conflict. Maintain some financial independence. BUT discuss this with your OH. Tell her you wont do it, explain why and be nice.

silverharp

no particular rule , are you married?, do you have kids do you have a mortgage? in my case for the first 4 or 5 years we kept separate accounts and then just merged them , we had pretty much the same attitude to money

miezekatze

I would leave things as they are. I wouldn't be comfortable with only having a joint account either. I can see how it makes sense to have one if there are kids, but I think it's better to keep some independence.

ncmc

Different strokes for different folks, I know a lot of married couples who just pool their money in to one account. I have been married for 13 years and we have always kept separate accounts. Most of the bills come out of my account (as I get paid monthly, he gets paid weekly) and then I take a set amount off him every week to cover his half. We also have a joint account that I put a couple of hundred in to every month to cover house expenses, repairs, bits and bobs we might need. We pretty much split everything else 50/50 although he does cover more of the luxuries as he earns a bit more than me.

It probably sounds a bit weird to some people, but it's always worked for us and we both like having our own money to spend and not feel guilty about it! There's no right or wrong answer to this, but if you're not comfortable, keep things the way they are.

Loveinapril

ronn wrote: »

My Oh wants us to put both our wages into the one house acc, We already have a joint account that we pay X amout each into that, we use this to pay bills and shopping etc,

Whats the reasoning behind it if the joint bill account is working?

I would personally leave things as they are. Your wages are yours!

Parchment

I would never pay my wages into a shared account. We have a joint account that we both pay an equal amount into before a certain date each month - all bills and the mortgage come from it. Other wise we have our own current accounts and credit cards.

My money is...mine!

gifted

I hand up pretty much everything...if I need money I just take it...don't drink don't smoke but I do have three beautiful little girls and I love providing for them. Herself works as well and hands up everything.

amtc

God I'd never have just one account.

Memories of my childhood when my mother had to give up work due to marriage bar and every Sunday my dad would role out my mother's allowance for the week and reconcile her expenditure by deeming certain things 'unapproved'. Mother went back to work in her forties.

So even when I had a joint mortgage we put exactly half into it.

Paleblood

amtc wrote: »

Memories of my childhood when my mother had to give up work due to marriage bar and every Sunday my dad would role out my mother's allowance for the week and reconcile her expenditure by deeming certain things 'unapproved'. Mother went back to work in her forties.

My man told me similar stories about her parents, except that it was my grandfather that came home and handed up his wages, and my grandmother gave him back the price of a couple of pints.

Of course times were hard and it was the woman that ran the home, but my mother said my grandfather cut a sorry sight heading out on a Sunday evening with his pocket money, after working a 65 hour week.

SarahMollie

I think its hard to totally judge without knowing your circumstances, ie are you married, cohabiting (rented or joint mortgage?) or are there children involved?

Speaking for myself, we live together in a place that I have a mortgage on. He pays me "rent" monthly and we split the bills. We've both kept seperate accounts and have no plans to change this, even after our wedding later this year. We plan to sell my place in maybe 3 years and buy together so maybe then we'll reevaluate then, but honestly I don't foresee us ever not having out own accounts, even if we also have a joint one for practical reasons.

Vojera

There's no hard and fast rule - it's whatever works for you.

My wife and I have separate accounts but it's essentially one pot - the rent and utilities come out of her account and the groceries/petrol/savings come out of mine. That works fine for us - neither of us are prone to mad shopping sprees or spending behind the other's back. It wouldn't work for everyone.

Your joint account is a good compromise already, imo. Has your OH said why he/she wants to consolidate your accounts?

If paying into a joint account makes you uncomfortable, don't do it! It's a recipe for disaster if you're not 100% sure about it. You'll be a little on edge about every penny you spend and that'll lead to conflict down the line.

scriba

As some other posters have indicated, it's whatever works for you OP. My wife and I went joint a/c about two years ago. We both have single accounts that we're paid into, and we invariably transfer the whole lot into the joint account, which pays all bills. Having our own money isn't an issue at the moment - at the end of the month, there's nothing left!

I had misgivings about it beforehand, as I was unhappy about giving up my financial independence. But I thought about it, and decided to trial it, and now I don't care. But one's attitude to money, security, and independence can be a very personal and deeply ingrained thing, which people don't always understand. So if it is for you, talk to your OH and try reach a compromise. For what it's worth, I think your set up is fine as it stands, and maybe it's your OH that should explain why they want to change the arrangement?

osarusan

ronn wrote: »

I'm not too pushed on the idea, I feel I'd have to explain myself if I wanted to buy something For myself or if I buy something stupid,

If you had your own account and bought something stupid, would you have to explain yourself anyway?

I often think the whole 'separate/joint account' question masks more fundamental questions about attitudes to spending. If one person has no problem splashing out say €300 on an item of clothing, whereas their partner wouldn't have spent even half that amount (but would happily spend €300 on a weekend away), it's going to be a problem whether it comes from a joint account or not.

Or, to put it another way, keeping separate accounts isn't going to make different attitudes to spending simply disappear.

In my case we just have a joint account, and spend what we like. I think that both of us having a similar attitude towards what is 'worth spending money on' is more important than the accounts.

RhubarbCrumble

Different strokes for different folks I guess, but personally it wouldn't be for me. My partner and I have a joint account which we both put a certain amount into. This covers bills, groceries etc, but we also have a separate account each and what we do with the money in that is totally up to each of us.

What is the motivation behind the change?
Are you saving for something?
Are there big income differences between you?
Is one a spendthrift, drinker, gambler?

If you are uncomfortable doing it then don't do it.

HalloweenJack

You really need to find out why your OH wants to do this, OP.

I currently use the system you describe with my OH and it works perfectly. At the start of the month we both put in the same amount to cover all the household bills and a bit more if needs be. The rest of our paychecks are for ourselves. I couldn't care less what she spends her money on and she feels similarly about my spending.

Personally, I would actively resist merging my money. I don't see the need.

Jim Oaktree

osarusan wrote: »

If you had your own account and bought something stupid, would you have to explain yourself anyway?

I often think the whole 'separate/joint account' question masks more fundamental questions about attitudes to spending. If one person has no problem splashing out say €300 on an item of clothing, whereas their partner wouldn't have spent even half that amount (but would happily spend €300 on a weekend away), it's going to be a problem whether it comes from a joint account or not.

Or, to put it another way, keeping separate accounts isn't going to make different attitudes to spending simply disappear.

In my case we just have a joint account, and spend what we like. I think that both of us having a similar attitude towards what is 'worth spending money on' is more important than the accounts.

If you had spearate accounts you would probably be less wasteful with money. Studies have demonstrated this.

LegacyUser

Nobody wants to think of "What if the worst should happen" but if it does people don't seem to realise they may not be able to access funds from the joint account until months later when the deceased debts are settled,


you should always have your own account with money going into it or enough money in it to live off for months without your partner's income, no matter what way you divide your finances,


the easiest and safest solution is: my account, your account, our account, with wages going into the individual accounts and transferred into the joint a/c as needed,

be this lodging all of it each month or a portion of it to the joint account, thats personal to you and your circumstances,

if the 3 accounts are with the same bank these transfers can be done instantly online, (if different banks it can take 24hours to process)

SusanC10

OP - are you married?

This is v relevant as assets incl Bank Accounts are treated differently if you are married or non-married in the event of Separation or Death of one of the couple.

Personally I would not pool money completely unless married.

Ursus Horribilis

beingpractical wrote: »

Nobody wants to think of "What if the worst should happen" but if it does people don't seem to realise they may not be able to access funds from the joint account until months later when the deceased debts are settled,

Good point. My friend's dad died last year and the bank froze the joint bank account(s) he held with his wife. As far as I'm aware, they weren't in debt or anything like that. His widow had to get her solicitors on the case because they were very slow to unfreeze them.

bmwguy

Loveinapril wrote: »

And a woman would be what?

Naive too.
Op set up a joint account, transfer amounts into it that will cover the bills and necessities in whatever proportion you both pay them depending on your income. But for the love of God keep your own account for your own sanity.
A friend of mine has to transfer his whole salary into a joint account and get approved for any spending by his wife, who does not like spending. He does, fond of going for a pint, matches etc...you should hear the excuses he comes out with not to attend nights out and events with us even though he is not short of money.
We all know he is either getting turned down, afraid to ask or afraid of the cold shoulder but a sorrier sight I never did see.
Wouldn't be for me, no way.

Mooooo

Ursus Horribilis wrote: »

Good point. My friend's dad died last year and the bank froze the joint bank account(s) he held with his wife. As far as I'm aware, they weren't in debt or anything like that. His widow had to get her solicitors on the case because they were very slow to unfreeze them.

They won't be unfrozen until grant of probate is issued.

Ursus Horribilis

Mooooo wrote: »

They won't be unfrozen until grant of probate is issued.

Fair enough. As you can see, I'm not all that familiar with what happens when someone dies. It goes to show why you shouldn't put all your eggs in the one basket though.

If I was in the OP's shoes, I'd not want to do it for a myriad of reasons. We don't know why this request has suddenly come up either, especially as they'd been operating separate accounts until now. It could be perfectly benign or it could be malicious. But as I said, we don't know. There's very little information to go on.

Neyite

We pool our money. We are the kind of couple that share PINs and cards and use whatever card happens to have the cash on it at that given moment. I've often got his card to go grocery shopping or vice versa because we get paid at different times. We are very good at discussing spending and budgeting together.

But we still keep our wages paid into our own accounts, set aside some for our joint account for bills and big purchases, and some into long-term savings.

When I get paid I transfer my share into the joint account but what's left is my own to spend how I like. I don't want to have to explain my mooncup purchase, how much I actually spend on my hobby ( I don't want to even know that myself!!) or my kindle habit to another adult. Likewise, I'm sure he doesn't want me to quiz him about how much he spent on a pair of football boots, or some other thing that I'd just consider a stupid waste of money man-gadget.

We aren't married and even when we are, we'll be doing it this way. I think the old way of handing up all your cash to a spouse and getting the price of a few pints / balls of wool back is infantilising and not the kind of relationship I signed up for.

I know someone who did it your way. It got to the point where she had to explain even buying a stamp for a birthday card. They are divorcing now, unsurprisingly.