Feel like I've failed/not cut out for life

LegacyUser

I sure people are sick of seeing these type of threads but I feel I really need to post just to gain a bit of perspective. I'm a 27 year old male and I'm so lost and unhappy in life I really don't know what to do or where to turn. I've been unemployed for nearly a year at this stage, previous to this stint of being unemployed I was on doing a 6 month internship which ended last May, I though the internship went well, they treated me well, said I was a huge help and got a great reference at the end of it but as is usually the way with these things there was no job at the end of it.

Since then I've gone for countless interviews, traveled the length and breath or the country, sometimes doing well and getting called back for follow up interviews but it never works out as theres always a better candidate. A few of my more recent interviews have gone so badly that I've really put of even apply for these types of jobs (the most recent one they tore apart my previous work and told me I'm not cut out for this industry). My work experience as a whole isn't great, I finished college at 24 and ended up in various minimum wage retail jobs until I did that internship position which was related to the field I studied. I never got on well in these jobs, I got fired from one and the other two were never very happy with me, I imagine I would have gotten fired if I'd stayed long around enough. I been at such a loss at what to do I applied to go back to college but I didn't get accepted into the course.

Outside of the work situation I'm extremely unhappy with my life, I suffer from depression and anxiety and I think I've suffered from it for a long time going back as far as my early teens. It took a break down when I was 24 to actually push me to seek help where I was put on medication which I'm still on now. I live at home and while I get on with my family for the most part its really not where I want to be, I've never had the chance to live away from home and I feel that's really bad for a 27 year old. Its feel like I'm so far behind in life that I don't even count as a person, I have absolutely nothing going for me, I rarely have anything to talk about when I meet people I know and I just dread being asking what I'm up to atm. The only thing that gets me out of the house these days is when I go to the gym a couple of days a week, I have a small group of friends that I see every now and then but they all have their own lives so their not around that much and I feel like a nuisance asking to do stuff since I feel I'm boring and I contribute nothing of value to the friendship. What kills me as well is that I've never had any form or romantic relationship with a girl, never had a girlfriend, never been on a date, still a virgin and to top it off I've never even kissed a girl. This just seems unacceptable for a 27 year old to have never experienced any of this and it feel like no one will ever want me and I'll always been seen a broken or damaged. I've been told that I'm a decent looking fella but I cant imagine any girl ever being attracted to me.

I've recently started going to counseling and I'm not sure if its helping me, a lot what their doing is trying to get me to break my negative mind set with cbt, but its so hard when everything seems to be getting worse and I cant catch a break. My confidence and mood are as low as they've ever been.

I just really don't know what to do, I'm really trying but its just not happening.

Sorry for the overly long badly structured post

Taltos

Mod Note
All we can do OP is to encourage you to continue the course of treatment you are undergoing.
Working with your GP and CBT specialist really is the way forward here and I'm not kidding when I say it will take some work.

In the meantime if you find yourself feeling very low reach out to some of the live resources on this thread.
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057178293

Sorry we can't help more but all of the advice would best direct you to the help you are currently getting. Just keep in mind you are not alone out there