I don't appreciate so much mystery,I feel he is hiding things, Advice and opinions pl

lillyAnn

Ok, so I happen to be in a relationship for almost 2 years now, with my bf who is in his late thirty's, and well, I have come to the conclusion that he is somehow mysterious, I mean I get that he is discrete, but it just comes off as mysterious to be quite honest, he does not like to make noise when he is walking LOL I have never met his ''friends'' I Don't even think he has many, the only ''friend'' that I have metwas his roomate (which is a weed head, smokes a lot of weed) it was a HI and BYE type of interaction, he does has another friend that he talks about which is an old man in his 50, that supposedly is a friend of his family, I have never seen him,the times thatme and my bf hang around which are not very frequent, due to hectic schedules, I have never seen that man,another thingsupossedly my bf does not smoke, yet I caught a box of marlboro cigarettes underneath his laptop and his odd excuse is: he keeps it there for the laptop to ventilate the hot air. And I say Oh really? so he bought a box of marlboro just to serve as a laptop cushion, I don't think so. either he smokes or someone else that went or goes to his house does.


The othe part is,I remember when we started dating, he told he me how he disliked social media, and ''did not have any of them''.He happens to hate pictures,in our whole relationship we never took not one picture, I tried long time ago for thanksgiving,and he did not want to he said he look unpolished blah blah, he was so awkward about it, and just told me he did not like to take picturesures ,and the fact that he does not like his pictures to be on internet or FACEBOOK,since he likes ''privacy''.he also mentioned that there are not many pics of him.


Yet I checked his family members facebook and saw 3 pics of him,then the part that bothered me, was that I ended up finding out that he has a facebook profile, with a made up name and an actual picture of him( very ironic isn't it, since he does not like neither social media or taking pictures and is sooo conscious about his Privacy Humm???). something that really caught my eye is that he does not have any of his family members on his facebook profile,I have seen all of his families profiles and none of them have him and visceversa.


His excuse to why he has that facebook account is: ''yeah that's an old facebook account that I made but I don't use,its been sitting there for some time, but, I don't use it. Honestly I could not see any content,I suppose he has it private, yet I saw 5 people that are friends with him, and facebook suggested them to me, there profiles are public. 4 of them I have seen them from university, and there was this girl, whom I have no clue who she is. so I checkedher facebook and HE became friends with her on 2015, to me that is not so long ago, So he must have been logging around that time.Facts are facts and this does not match with his so EXCUSE according to me. This especific facebook issue gives me the impression that something is rotten in the state of denmark, even though he insist in the'' it's old and I don't use it'' excuse. I really don't want to judge him and believe he is not telling the me the truth, But TBH all of it, just seems weird!.8-)

retro:electro

Is this the same boyfriend that you've posted about four times about now in the last two weeks?

anewme

The fact that you mentioned thanksgiving makes me think that you are not Irish, so maybe the behaviour is more a cultural thing.

If he's in his late thirties, would i be right in thinking you are thirty plus yourself? Or in that region.

Certainly that is very childish behaviour for people of that age group.

have you asked your boyfriend why he is so mysterious and told him you don't appreciate it. If so, what did he say?

Anyone who uses a box of Marlboro to ventilate a computer is a bit odd.

He sounds like a lot of hard work, if after two years you don't know if he has a profile on Facebook is very telling in itself.

Putting up with that kind of codology for years is not doing you any good either, get rid.

tara73

this all sounds odd.
making no sound when walking? is it for real? this would even bother me more than his privacy stuff.
you havn't mention any of his qualities so it's hard to give any advice. some poeple just don't have much friends but are lovely people.

if you could give more infos about how he is in other parts of the relationship it would be easier to get a proper picture about him as a person and if it's worth working on the relationship.

leggo

How has this gone on for a couple of years? It sounds like you barely know him. Like where is the closeness? The building your life together? The knowing each other inside out that, just...well, is kinda the point of a relationship and why you get into one?

I'm not judging, I guess what I'm asking is what you are getting out of this? Do you like the mysteriousness of it all, like do you see him as a puzzle you're trying to figure out? If so, expect that to end badly. He's keeping you at a distance because he wants to. It may be he has something dramatic to hide, it may be something simple like there's just nothing more there (i.e. he's just simple and pretty boring) and he knows it.

If it was me, I'd be like "I've given this person two years of my life and I've nothing really to show for it, I barely know them." But it's your life OP!

Merkin

OP, I've no option but to ban you from the forum for a month. You have repeatedly started threads on a number of bizarre issues within the space of a week, set up a duplicate account to circumvent mod warning and ignored instruction to desist from starting threads. If your myriad issues are genuine I suggest you go and seek professional help.