Permission to see your friends

Emparedados · 13-03-2017 10:56am #1

Do you need permission from your OH to go out and meet your friends?

My experience over the years tells me a lot of men need permission or are afraid to even ask for permission from their wife/girlfriend. To me this sounds like an avusive relationship.

I understand some men will use this simply as a convenient excuse not to go out. But the reason it's such a good excuse is so many men can relate to it.

Kimbot · 13-03-2017 10:57am

Emparedados wrote: »

Do you need permission from your OH to go out and meet your friends?

Nope, I do what I want.

Emparedados · 13-03-2017 10:58am

jonnycivic wrote: »

Nope, I do what I want.

I'm glad to hear it.

andekwarhola · 13-03-2017 10:58am

Would sex in said relationships happen to be a chore, by any chance?

Glenster · 13-03-2017 10:59am

I don't ask for permission, but I wouldn't go out without telling her.

DontThankMe · 13-03-2017 11:01am

Yes I must approve any plans for nights out with the lads with my OH. If she gives me the green light I can go out if not I can't. It's a great way to live it takes the pressure off me having to make decisions about my own life I just let my OH decide for me.

MonsterCookie · 13-03-2017 11:02am

Permission no. I get to go out with my mates pretty much when I want - this translates to about once a month.

But one must recognise that when in a relationship there is a need for give and take. Even more so when there are young kids in the house.

That's why it's a good idea to consult with the OH and respect her wishes IMO.

Maximus Alexander · 13-03-2017 11:03am

No. Of course not. What the actual fuck.

lawred2 · 13-03-2017 11:03am

Emparedados wrote: »

Do you need permission from your OH to go out and meet your friends?

My experience over the years tells me a lot of men need permission or are afraid to even ask for permission from their wife/girlfriend. To me this sounds like an avusive relationship.

I understand some men will use this simply as a convenient excuse not to go out. But the reason it's such a good excuse is so many men can relate to it.

What do you mean by permission?

I know with my wife and I; we will do our best to facilitate each other with regards to nights out with friends but sometimes with the kids and work responsibilities it's not always possible. It's rare enough that we can't work something out but it does happen.

Is this what you mean? Would you view that as abusive?

To be honest; when you've got young kids - I would find a night out with the subsequent hangover about as alluring as shaving with a cheese grater anyway. And I certainly wouldn't give up my time with my family to spend time with someone who thinks so dismally of others as you do OP.

13-03-2017 11:03am

andekwarhola wrote: »

Would sex in said relationships happen to be a chore, by any chance?

What always surprises me is the number who respond, thinking it's a genuine thread rather than his fixation.

Riddle101 · 13-03-2017 11:04am

I would mention it to her that I'm going to be hanging out with the lads or something, but unless we had other obligations of our own that day or there was a very good reason to, then I don't think you should need permission to see your friends.

13-03-2017 11:05am

Riddle101 wrote: »

I would mention it to her that I'm going to be hanging out with the lads or something, but unless we had other obligations of our own that day then I don't think you should need permission to see your friends.

It's chore sex guy. He doesn't really care what you think. He just has a fixation with women, power, relationships and sex.

Emparedados · 13-03-2017 11:07am

lawred2 wrote: »

What do you mean by permission?

I know with my wife and I; we will do our best to facilitate each other with regards to nights out with friends but sometimes with the kids and work responsibilities it's not always possible.

Is this what you mean? Would you view that as abusive?

When there are kids and logistics to consider of course that is not abusive to plan ahead. But I've seen it in couples without kids that the man has to ask permission to go out and meet his friends. And even if he does get permission she will act more coldly towards him.

lawred2 · 13-03-2017 11:08am

Emparedados wrote: »

When there are kids and logistics to consider of course that is not abusive to plan ahead. But I've seen it in couples without kids that the man has to ask permission to go out and meet his friends. And even if he does get permission she will act more coldly towards him.

How many couples?

Omackeral · 13-03-2017 11:09am

Emparedados wrote: »

Do you need permission from your OH to go out and meet your friends?

My experience over the years tells me a lot of men need permission or are afraid to even ask for permission from their wife/girlfriend. To me this sounds like an avusive relationship.

I understand some men will use this simply as a convenient excuse not to go out. But the reason it's such a good excuse is so many men can relate to it.

That's really it, the bloke will use the gf as an excuse but it's really on him because he's spineless and doesn't have the niagra falls to admit he doesn't wanna go out.

super_furry · 13-03-2017 11:09am

Emparedados wrote: »

But I've seen it in couples without kids that the man has to ask permission to go out and meet his friends. And even if he does get permission she will act more coldly towards him.

Never seen anything like that myself. You must know some couples who probably shouldn't be couples.

fizzypish · 13-03-2017 11:17am

Emparedados wrote: »

My experience over the years tells me a lot of men need permission or are afraid to even ask for permission from their wife/girlfriend.

A lot of men ****ed up so.

Dr Crayfish · 13-03-2017 11:23am

From my experience on boards everyone is in a completely equal absolutely perfect 100% secure relationship where they have lives completely independent of each other, there is zero insecurity from either parties, and they couldn't be happier. Unless it's an anonymous poster in relationship issues, where they are promptly reminded of how wrong everything they're doing is.
In the real world I can only think of a couple of relationships I would call good, and that's just from the outside looking in. They're probably miserable behind closed doors!

osarusan · 13-03-2017 11:27am

I needed permission to post on this thread.

lawred2 · 13-03-2017 11:28am

Dr Crayfish wrote: »

From my experience on boards everyone is in a completely equal absolutely perfect 100% secure relationship where they have lives completely independent of each other, there is zero insecurity from either parties, and they couldn't be happier. Unless it's an anonymous poster in relationship issues, where they are promptly reminded of how wrong everything they're doing is.
In the real world I can only think of a couple of relationships I would call good, and that's just from the outside looking in. They're probably miserable behind closed doors!

Is your own situation clouding your judgement? Because every single one of my close friends seem to be in a happy relationship.

This is the thing with perspectives..

freshpopcorn · 13-03-2017 11:36am

I've often heard of guys needing to ask for permission about buying things/ going out. Generally these are controlling partners and if roles were reversed people would have a different opinion on the relationship.
I've heard women say their husband clothes are hideous and have thrown them out with out his permission. People say she's just offering fashion advice. If a guy told his wife her clothes were hideous and and then threw her clothes out. He'd be considered controlling.

team_actimel · 13-03-2017 11:37am

No way. Actually the opposite in that I encourage my boyfriend to have more nights out with his friends.

Pac1Man · 13-03-2017 11:38am

team_actimel wrote: »

No way. Actually the opposite in that I encourage my boyfriend to have more nights out with his friends.

So you can sit around drinking Yops all night? I know your secret.

13-03-2017 11:39am

I always consult the OH when going out. She manages the calendar/schedule as we have 5 kids. So long as there is no conflicting event it's fine. Same goes when she is going out, she checks that I have no plans.

razorblunt · 13-03-2017 11:40am

Never needed, generally give a heads up when I'm away out for the night and she does likewise.
The only thing I doublecheck are weekend plans, so before committing to a lads weekend or stag I'll check in with her. Not for permission but I'm awful at remembering dates and she knows them!