How do I face it?

TheFitz13

Went out last night and got absolutely twisted. A guy that I'm in college with that sits with us was there and we ended up doing things (sexual) and everyone found out... now I'm literally dreading going in tomorrow... sorry I just posted this cause I needed to write

neonsofa

TheFitz13 wrote: »

Went out last night and got absolutely twisted. A guy that I'm in college with that sits with us was there and we ended up doing things (sexual) and everyone found out... now I'm literally dreading going in tomorrow... sorry I just posted this cause I needed to write

Are you feeling this way because it happened, or because everyone found out? Or because you don't want to face the guy?
Do people know because he told people and that's why you're unhappy?

9or10

You wont be the first OP.

Seriously just tough it out or laugh it off. Its no bigee this day and age.

TheFitz13

neonsofa wrote: »

Are you feeling this way because it happened, or because everyone found out? Or because you don't want to face the guy?
Do people know because he told people and that's why you're unhappy?

Yes to all those questions. It's so embarrassing.

neonsofa

TheFitz13 wrote: »

Yes to all those questions. It's so embarrassing.

Do you regret doing things with him?
If nobody knew I mean?

Did you speak to him and explain that you're not happy he told people?
Do you feel he was disrespectful in telling people?

It's not necessarily an embarrassing thing, like people shouldn't think anything of it really, so you were intimate with someone, there are people having sex every day of the week, nobody would be alive today without it happening, it's entirely natural so it's not as if you've done something abnormal or weird.

TheFitz13

neonsofa wrote: »

Do you regret doing things with him?
If nobody knew I mean?

Did you speak to him and explain that you're not happy he told people?
Do you feel he was disrespectful in telling people?

It's not necessarily an embarrassing thing, like people shouldn't think anything of it really, so you were intimate with someone, there are people having sex every day of the week, nobody would be alive today without it happening, it's entirely natural so it's not as if you've done something abnormal or weird.

Yeah I'd still regret it and I'm not saying a word about it to him cause I feel like it would be too awkward... see it's a bit more controversial cause I'm a gay lad and he's "straight" but to be honest I think I might just play dumb and tell everyone that I have no idea what happened and that I don't want to know.. like you act stupid if you get me?

neonsofa

TheFitz13 wrote: »

Yeah I'd still regret it and I'm not saying a word about it to him cause I feel like it would be too awkward... see it's a bit more controversial cause I'm a gay lad and he's "straight" but to be honest I think I might just play dumb and tell everyone that I have no idea what happened and that I don't want to know.. like you act stupid if you get me?

Nah don't do that. That just makes it seem like you got drunk and can't control your drinking, which is more "embarrassing" than just being intimate with someone. They all know (according to you) what happened so you pretending you don't makes no difference. Why did he tell everybody, do you know? Like is he happy about it or does he feel awkward? I can't imagine he does if he is announcing it?

What's the worst that can happen from people knowing? They ask you a few questions? Maybe joke about you being a couple now? Is there much else they will do?

TheFitz13

neonsofa wrote: »

Nah don't do that. That just makes it seem like you got drunk and can't control your drinking, which is more "embarrassing" than just being intimate with someone. They all know (according to you) what happened so you pretending you don't makes no difference. Why did he tell everybody, do you know? Like is he happy about it or does he feel awkward? I can't imagine he does if he is announcing it?

What's the worst that can happen from people knowing? They ask you a few questions? Maybe joke about you being a couple now? Is there much else they will do?

I just find it way too awkward.. this guy is supposed to be "straight"... like I sit at the same social circle that he sits at and I'm just kinda dreading facing it.. ah it'll be grand sure only 2 months left till summer lol

Dial Hard

TheFitz13 wrote:

I just find it way too awkward.. this guy is supposed to be "straight"... like I sit at the same social circle that he sits at and I'm just kinda dreading facing it

Why??? You're gay. He's (publicly, anyway) straight. If anyone is "embarrassed" here (and nobody should be), it's probably going to be him.

You're way overthinking this, dude.

TheFitz13

Dial Hard wrote: »

Why??? You're gay. He's (publicly, anyway) straight. If anyone is "embarrassed" here (and nobody should be), it's probably going to be him.

You're way overthinking this, dude.

Yeah your right.. there's nothing I can do about it so just gotta get on with it

Bambi985

yeah tbh I'd say he's the one having panic attacks right now. And he'll probably go the route of denying anything happened / pretending to forget etc.

Tokyo

9or10 wrote: »

You wont be the first OP.

Seriously just tough it out or laugh it off. Its no bigee this day and age.

I'm not big on "Get over it" or "push through it" kind of advice, but in this case it's the best course of action. People hooking up is part and parcel of college life - it will be the talk of your friends for a day or so, then something else will inevitably come along that will be headline news, and your hookup with this guy will be forgotten about.

As somebody else mentioned, the fact that this guy is publicly straight means that he's probably far more concerned about what your social group are saying than you are. Say nothing, let people move past it.

TheFitz13

Thanks for along the advice! Went in today and acted completely normal. We were at the same table during breaks and it was a little awkward but nobody knew anything happened (yay). It'll be okay

neonsofa

TheFitz13 wrote: »

Thanks for along the advice! Went in today and acted completely normal. We were at the same table during breaks and it was a little awkward but nobody knew anything happened (yay). It'll be okay

90% of what we worry about never happens

CorkFenian

Occams razor nearly always applies in these circumstances

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Occam%27s_razor