conquer a fear of dogs

RobAMerc

The kids and I are mad to get a dog ( I've grown up with dogs in my house ) but my wife has a phobia towards them

Does anyone know of a cure or something or someone who can help her get over this ?

Ms Doubtfire1

start with tiny dogs? bring her to a puppyclass maybe?

Blowfish

Ms Doubtfire1 wrote: »

start with tiny dogs? bring her to a puppyclass maybe?

I would have thought puppies would be too hyper and bouncy for someone with a phobia. An older, slower more placid dog might be better, it's not going to make any sudden moves and would likely just be happy with a gentle rub.

VonVix

I'd actually be inclined to suggest getting in contact with one of the organisations involved with therapy dogs to see if they have any events you could attend. Therapy dogs tend to be very calm and enjoy interaction with people, they are often involved with children and the elderly, so they are used to noises and 'unusual' behaviours people can have. May be a good starting point for you and help build her confidence.

I would avoid puppies for now. Yes, they're small and cute, but they are mouthy, noisy, jumpy and bitey, which for dog-fearful people it can basically sum up for them all the scary things about dogs in a small package. Often people who are afraid of dogs do not differentiate much between a puppy and an adult dog in terms of behaviour.

riffmongous

From my personal experience dogs that don't bark or jump are the best start. Also smaller, but not too small, tiny dogs can seem weird.

RobAMerc

VonVix wrote: »

I would avoid puppies for now. Yes, they're small and cute, but they are mouthy, noisy, jumpy and bitey, which for dog-fearful people it can basically sum up for them all the scary things about dogs in a small package. Often people who are afraid of dogs do not differentiate much between a puppy and an adult dog in terms of behaviour.

I actually thought a puppy was the answer too and she immediately said "but they bite dont they?" so I think you are right its not a puppy to her, its a small dog who bites !

VonVix

RobAMerc wrote: »

I actually thought a puppy was the answer too and she immediately said "but they bite dont they?" so I think you are right its not a puppy to her, its a small dog who bites !

I have met countless people who have their first puppy and end up panicked when their sweet little fluffy thing decides to jump up and scrape their finger (puppy teeth are the worst, they are like little needles) and they aren't even people who are afraid of dogs, but they end up of the mind that they are raising a dog who will turn out to be an aggressive biter, when it's simply a puppy learning and exploring the world as puppies do. Plus their mouth/gums hurt when they are teething, so they will latch onto anything to ease their discomfort.

aonb

If your wife has an actual phobia of dogs - poor her, must be awful - then I respectfully suggest that you forget about getting a dog. Unless everyone in the home is genuinely invested in the dog, you are just asking for trouble. Typically the woman is the one who is impacted most by having a pet - cleaning, feeding, caring etc. If your wife isnt an dog lover, any dog/pup you get could potentially suffer - being rehomed/unwanted - because your wife just doesnt 'get' dogs.

Apart from the expense - food/worming/de-flea/shots/illness/kennels on holidays/equipment - having a family pet means that the dog is around 24/7 and has to be considered. Is it fair on your wife (or the dog) to bring an animal into the house when the woman of the house is phobic/unwilling/uninterested/uncaring/disliking the dog?

Just my two cents worth... there are so many strays/abandoned/surrendered dogs, rehoming an unwanted pet is really difficult.

Fakediamond

If it's a true phobia, rather than just a dislike, any practitioner that deals with phobias could help, e.g. hypnotherapist, counsellor etc.

You could show her cute puppy photos/videos in the meantime!

As another poster suggested, therapy dogs, or just very calm dogs, would be a good starting point in showing her that dogs can be lovely companions, and not aggressive or hyper.

Ballybog

I have always been afraid of dogs that I don't know and the hubby & kids were working on me getting a puppy. I finally relented and thought it would be fine, sure puppies are nice & fluffy....
I have to admit, puppies are hard work and while I am not afraid of the puppy (he is adorable!!), he is very jumpy and bitey and requires a lot of training.
Looking back now, we would have been better off with an older dog who is already toilet trained and clamer, however, the dog is a part of a family now and we wouldn't change her for the world.
So, I would definitely recommend an older dog.

Flibble

I definitely think contacting Therapy Dogs is an excellent way to ease her into it, and once you're over that step to where she can be in a dogs company without freaking out, you could investigate rescuing an older dog. This way she can meet with & spend a little time with a dog, allowing her to choose the dog that feels least threatening to her.

Make sure she doesn't feel bullied into this, as it's easy for one member of the family to end up feeling resentful of the dog, which is not fair on them.

Very little baby steps, and lots of patience.

Do you know anyone with a quiet, calm, older & responsibly trained dog you could expose her to?

ch1981

We had same issue. My husband had a dog as a child but me and my son were scared but I wanted to overcome my fear. So we got a golden retriever puppy. It was difficult at first, he never nipped but was very bouncy! However we now all love him.
Myself and my son are now able to walk him, feed him etc something I never would have thought was possible. I think a puppy is best, you know that there are no previous issues and they can overcome their fears as it grows. Personally I think a bigger dog is less scary than a snappy small dog but thats just me. Good luck but do be prepared for alot of hard work if you are the only member of the family who isnt scared. My husband had all the walking, feeding and training for a long time!
Would it be possible to volunteer at a dog shelter as a family for a few afternoons, you could get some experience first?

tk123

My friend got a retriever pup recently and she's like a devil lol (another poster who's met her may confirm that description lol ) so I don't know if I'd recommend a pup.. unless you had somebody who knew what they were doing with regards to sourcing one, sussing the parents and breeder out and a trainer early on to come to the house and go through basic training and handling etc

My girl is very laid back and relaxed (so much so she's going to assessed to be a therapy dog) and the polar opposite to the new pup but I was very careful in choosing her and knew exactly what I wanted and what to look for.

Wildcard7

I would not go for a puppy. Puppies are a lot of work, and they can be very bouncy. Also if it doesn't work out, you will take the easy way out and then there's another 6 month old pupper in a shelter.
Ease your missus into it, see how severe the phobia is by using any of the means suggested in this thread (guide dogs, puppy classes, dog shows, ...). And then, if you're fairly sure it's manageable, go to a shelter and get a grown dog. Apart from all the other advantages, you will be able to pick a dog whose personality works with your wifes phobia best.
Dogs have different personalities, and they develop based on the environment they're raised in. You have no idea what you're getting with a puppy (they're all hyper), and chances are that if your wife screeches every time the the pup jumps up at her you won't end up with a terribly calm and well adjusted dog. If you get a grown dog you know exactly what you get, and the people at the shelter can judge whether a particular dog could work with your wifes phobia.
If your wife is having a phobia (and not just a dislike or anything like that), you'll have your work cut out for you. Don't make it harder and add more unknown variables to the mix by having to train a puppy at the same time.