Baby only naps when held

Roxylocks

I am a FTM to an 11 week old daughter who will only nap during the day when held. In the first few weeks she would nap in the moses basket no problem but she outgrew it at 3 wks and has since only slept when held. As soon as she is put down in her cot the eyes shoot open and no more nap time! She will occasionally drop off in the swing or bouncer but is awake again within 15/20 mins. If I leave her in my arms she will go for a good 2 hours. She will go down no problem at night, it's only daytime that is causing an issue. I have started trying to get her to sleep in the cot during the day but it's not going too well. Sometimes she will drift off but will be back up bright eyed within 10/20 mins. Other times she just won't have any of it and will not settle. Either way it leads to a very cranky baby come early afternoon and I am left quite stressed and resort back to letting her sleep in my arms. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated!!!

lazygal

That's very common, my second was like that. I used to drive the car around for a bit and then sit with a coffee in the driver's seat while he napped. He was a very clingy baby. He grew out of it. Everything is a phase at that stage. Some people love slings, I never took to them.

Roxylocks

lazygal wrote: »

That's very common, my second was like that. I used to drive the car around for a bit and then sit with a coffee in the driver's seat while he napped. He was a very clingy baby. He grew out of it. Everything is a phase at that stage. Some people love slings, I never took to them.

Thanks lazygal, glad to know I'm not alone! I have visions of sitting here in 6 months time with her still sleeping in my arms! Did it take long for your little lad to grow out of it or how did you know when he was ready to start sleeping alone?

lazygal

He was about five/six months I'd say? It was just time he needed though, I could leave his sister with anyone so I found it a bit frustrating that I was so tied to him. But it will pass, and all you can do is relax and enjoy the cuddles. They do get big very quickly!

scarepanda

My little lady was the same when she was smaller, she just wouldn't sleep for me during the day and by evening she could be quite difficult, but she would sleep the night for us very early on.

To be honest, you just need to do what ever baby needs at that stage. For me I resigned myself to the fact that the best thing for all of us was for me to set up camp in the living room, netflix, snack and water at the ready, feed baby and let her sleep on me. It can be hard of you've other children/things to do/possibly the only time where you might have a chance to have your hands free etc (that's the bit I found hardest), but it only lasts a short time. Now at 7 months she's still not a great napper, but will go down most days for 1/1.30hrs, sometimes I'll get two naps from her, always in her cot. I have to say I'd choose a good nighttime sleeper and bad daytime napper everytime than the other way around. I can't handle anything if iv had sleep!

Roxylocks

scarepanda wrote: »

My little lady was the same when she was smaller, she just wouldn't sleep for me during the day and by evening she could be quite difficult, but she would sleep the night for us very early on.

To be honest, you just need to do what ever baby needs at that stage. For me I resigned myself to the fact that the best thing for all of us was for me to set up camp in the living room, netflix, snack and water at the ready, feed baby and let her sleep on me. It can be hard of you've other children/things to do/possibly the only time where you might have a chance to have your hands free etc (that's the bit I found hardest), but it only lasts a short time. Now at 7 months she's still not a great napper, but will go down most days for 1/1.30hrs, sometimes I'll get two naps from her, always in her cot. I have to say I'd choose a good nighttime sleeper and bad daytime napper everytime than the other way around. I can't handle anything if iv had sleep!

Thanks scarepanda, it's hard to know if you are doing the right thing sometimes! But you are right, definitely happy she sleeps at night. I guess you just have to go with what baby wants and bar loosing out on a bit of hands free time to catch up on housework, the upside of cuddles is always nice!

PhoenixParker

Mine was the same from about two weeks to about six weeks except that he needed to be held all night too.
His eyes literally sprang open the moment he was placed down and no amount of careful transfers could get him to stay asleep.

Now this isn't for everyone, but what changed is that one day I put him sleeping on his front. Not only did he stay asleep but he stayed asleep for two hours. I fought it for another week or two but I came to the conclusion that me driving him with no sleep and nodding off with him asleep on me was riskier then him sleeping on his belly with no other risk factors. If you've tried everything else, belly sleeping might be worth a shot.

dori_dormer

My first was a terrible sleeper, day and night and was wide awake on transfer. What was useful to us was slings, swaddles ( or just the blanket so that it wasn't a cold mattress waking him) counting exactly 10 minutes from when his breathing changed and signified he was in a deep sleep before transfer.
Also I spent a lot of time reading, watching TV and eating biscuits with him in my arms. It does pass but i got very touched out. He also hated the car and rarely slept in buggy.

scarepanda

Roxylocks wrote:

Thanks scarepanda, it's hard to know if you are doing the right thing sometimes! But you are right, definitely happy she sleeps at night. I guess you just have to go with what baby wants and bar loosing out on a bit of hands free time to catch up on housework, the upside of cuddles is always nice!

No problem! You'll have everyone telling you that you shouldn't be doing this that and the other, that you'll give her bad habits etc etc etc..... Pay no heed (at least that's what iv done when it comes to things like that) and do what works for you, baby and family. People had my head wrecked the first few weeks because baby always wanted to be up in someone's arms when she was tiny ( apparently that was our fault) and things only started to fall into place when I started ignoring them and doing my own thing that worked for us!!!

And it is definitely worth all the sleepy snuggles! Enjoy her, they get so big so fast!

Clashmore

Have you tried a wrap or a sling, babies are so portable at that stage. Leaves you hands free to do housework. Or go for a walk or coffee with friends. There may be a local sling library near u where you can borrow and try them out

Clashmore

catrionanic

+1 on the sling! I currently have my six week old fast asleep in the sling. I'd been trying to get him to nap in his cot for a few hours without success. Popped him in the sling and within five minutes he was out.

This problem does sound typical of young babies though. Have you heard people talking about "the fourth trimester"? Another few weeks and she will likely grow out of it.

shesty

100% agree, 12 weeks is a key point and they settle a lot better after that.But OP have you considered putting her into her cot and seeing what happens?I don't mean leave her crying, sit with her til she falls asleep.Rather than trying to get her to sleep before she goes into the cot.She may stay asleep longer that way too.Transfers never worked for my pair, so had to just put them in the bed and let them learn to fall asleep.Babies don't come knowing how to fall asleep, you kind of have to teach them/let them learn.

daheff

In my experience there are so many self help books out there that contradict each other that it makes it very difficult for new mums. You read a book it says do X, cos doing Y is evil.

do whatever works for you /your baby/ oh. dont underestimate the value of a good nights sleep.

but be mindful that whatever you do, keep an eye to what it means 6-12 months down the line. Would you rather be rocking baby to sleep in 12 months?


but first & foremost, get the sleep in now. you can change things later on & fight that battle then, when you are more able for it.

Beanybabog

I had this too. In fact I think I posted about it here!! Funny, at 14 weeks now she won't nap on anyone and gets cranky being carried around. I assume it's a phase. I'm no napping expert, I have trouble with it a lot, but the whole sleeping on peoples chests thing I think was a phase and now she's bigger and it's uncomfortable she prefers to be lying down. In fact I breastfeed her in bed just so she can drift off as she's fidgety being held now.

The only thing I really learned (and it's something I'm still struggling with a lot) is overtiredness. My own baby is easier to get down and stay down if she's not over tired. If you can spend some time at home, just you and baby, no visitors and no excursions, it's easier to try different things at nap time.

In hindsight however (and this is probably advice I should give myself now with my current and future challenges) the "bad habits" thing was rubbish in this regard. I was so conscious she should be happy but also not only be able to nap being held that I was worrying about getting her down to sleep. Now she's through that little phase I nearly miss the fact she would sleep on my visitors as now she gets cranky and I have to go upstairs with her.

I do recall sitting on the couch with her napping on me at lunch time in my smelly dressing gown having had no shower and no breakfast thinking will this ever end!! And then she became the best baby ever and I thought I was mother of the year.... and now I have just had a nightmare week and am turning that corner... so I suppose I can only say "this too will pass" lol.