advice? explain? please

melted___head

Hi everyone, I would like to describe my story and ask for advice or opinion?
I am or I was in relationship. She bit older than me but not much. We met when she was in marriage with kids, youngest 10 , oldest 17. We met nearly two years ago. Took us while to meet for first time. We talked a lot and getting closer to each other. And of course fell in love. It was best summer for both of us. We not young so comapre to others years was best. We went for wedding from my side of family, was best 62hrs of my life. When autum started , started also problems.. she told husband about us. It was night mare. But she decided to stay with him even if they not in love, but becaue of kids. We were thinking for while hot to be in contact as he was try separate us so much, even by following, checking phone etc. I opened on that time extra fb account under different name to just be with her in touch and as close as I could at least online. I pretend be even gay so she could tell him I am gay and he would give up to follow her everywhere. We survived winter and spring came along. We started meet again in parks, shopping center, picnics etc. Was amazing. She was able to fit everything, job, meet with me, manage kids, and running house. I love her even more. That she was fighting so much to keep me! Summer came also. We dicided to be together! And she told him in the end of summer about us again, like definetely we are together and staying together. And nightmare started again. Kids saw how parents were fighting on front of them. Finaly social care was involved because poor kids. They were hear so bad things about them mother and me , even if she talk to them about me before this nightmare and looked like they even liked me, they started hate me of course. He was following her evrywhere, checking her, instal voice recorder in her car. I tried be biggest support for her, but was still hard. In last september also I said to her somthing about myself. If she was doing so much to me I had to tell her too. I did this in temper true, but I did it. I told her something about myself that I was before different person tham I am now. She always said before that doesnt matter who i was born she would love me anyway. I tried told her before, but I couldnt. My ex wife left me because of this, because I was not good enough for her. She was disapointed that I lied to her and didnt tell her from start. But we were working on it. I love her and I would do everything to her. Around november things went worst. Social care involved, me and her husband nearly killed each other close her new job. He even brought kids to introduce them to me while he wanted punch me. wasnt nice. We decided to not seeing for while. but we were texting a lot of course. He was following her and checking her still. but we met before xmass to give each other gifts, and she gave me gifts for my family. Icouldnt give her for kids coz he would know we met. Januray became. 1 of january she said last time she loves me.. from this time got worst even more. We didnt see each other 2 months even if she promised me. she try be good person and do good for everything, we grow apart not because its just happend. But I think she did everything to do this. She said she not in love in me. She will do what God will let her, she calling to all advisors, smaritans etc. I am nothing for her right now. I have surgery in few days and she doesnt even want to meet with me. Coz if she will she will has to tell him that she did it. I love her and try understand this but I cant. I am not teenager for ages to just crush or play with somebody feelings. But I try understand this, try understand her explaining that she want to be good person now, without sneaking and do right thing for everybody.

Penny Tration

If you stop engaging in relationships with married liars, you'll never deal with this mess again.

melted___head

True, but love doesnt choose.. its just happening. Other thing I would not go in to it If I know they happy family. Its nothing about being happy there even before I came along.

Penny Tration

Love doesn't choose, you're right. You choose. You chose to hook up with someone who is married.

As for her marriage being unhappy - you only have her word for that. The word of a liar. So she was probably lying.


Seriously, cut contact and move on. This isn't love, it's a soap opera.