Concerned about drinking...

blinkwink

Hi, am 21 and am concerned about my drinking habits. At the moment I have no one else to turn to so I could do with some advice.

In particular I wish to focus on blackouts, one of which occurred on Thursday night. I hadn't had one for about six months or so. I was at a part, drank 4 cans along with 2 shots of spirits (yes I know) and remember stumbling out the front door. I remember entering at chipper and annoying a girl (I think) and walking on a path but remember nothing other than that. I woke up on my accommodation bed hungover and worried if I caused harm to anyone in any way. I remember leaving the house, but not the journey to the chipper and some of the journey back to accommodation. I should add that none of my friends were with me.

I have OCD so I naturally experienced intrusive thoughts, filling in the blank thoughts with what I may have done etc. and it scares me.

This isn't the first time I've said to myself that maybe I should cut down or take it easy, I've had dodgy episodes before. I'm stuck. I'm deeply unhappy and I have a problem. I don't drink unless I'm going out or the weekend but still, something isn't right.

Advice? Thank you.

nhunter100

blinkwink wrote:

Advice? Thank you.

Why do you drink? It clearly does not agree with you.

TheChizler

Are you extra tired lately or something? 4 cans and 2 shots wouldn't be considered a lot by most student's standards. If I'm very tired I can't remember sober nights the next day.

The obvious advice is to reduce the amount you drink or space them out more when you're on a night out. You're acknowledging it's having a bad effect on you which is important. Try to remember these incidents on nights out in future and that should help you slow down.

Also stick with your friends on nights out. Apart from being safer, if you're obsessively worrying about what you get up to they'll be able to reassure you.

blinkwink

nhunter100 wrote: »

Why do you drink? It clearly does not agree with you.

Mainly because it loosens me up so to speak and makes it easier to communicate to others. I'm less awkward and boring

As for not agreeing with me, I suspect I'm a lightweight.

blinkwink

TheChizler wrote: »

Are you extra tired lately or something? 4 cans and 2 shots wouldn't be considered a lot by most student's standards. If I'm very tired I can't remember sober nights the next day.

The obvious advice is to reduce the amount you drink or space them out more when you're on a night out. You're acknowledging it's having a bad effect on you which is important. Try to remember these incidents on nights out in future and that should help you slow down.

Also stick with your friends on nights out. Apart from being safer, if you're obsessively worrying about what you get up to they'll be able to reassure you.

I was out the night before so yeah I was tired. The time I consumed them in might have a lot to do with it. I remember almost always having a drink in my hand. I've cut out alcohol for a whole month successfully last month but relapsed. I did it just to experiment. I live in the accommodation with none of my friends, that being said I stupidly decided to walk home by myself, ultimately having a blackout and a possible danger to myself and others.

TheChizler

I don't think there's any need to go cold turkey, if you feel the need to always have something in your hand (I know I do) go for a soft drink or water every second drink. And if you're aware you're tired bear that in mind and don't drink as much.

You say it hadn't happened previously for six months, sounds like it's not a regular thing so I'd be hesitant to say you have a 'problem', just every so often you go overboard. You can learn from your experiences and try to not let it happen again.

nhunter100

blinkwink wrote:

As for not agreeing with me, I suspect I'm a lightweight.

Not judging, nothing to be ashamed saying you're a lightweight. Personally I think you use alcohol as a crutch. Switch to non alcoholic beer, the taste is still there without the side affects.

blinkwink

TheChizler wrote: »

I don't think there's any need to go cold turkey, if you feel the need to always have something in your hand (I know I do) go for a soft drink or water every second drink. And if you're aware you're tired bear that in mind and don't drink as much.

You say it hadn't happened previously for six months, sounds like it's not a regular thing so I'd be hesitant to say you have a 'problem', just every so often you go overboard. You can learn from your experiences and try to not let it happen again.

One of my concerns I guess is there being a spike in instrusive thoughts and thus anxiety and a lower mood due to the period where I remember nothing. I agree though that I do tend to go overboard every so often. I just feel like I've had this talk with myself too many times...

Fakediamond

I had a bad blackout once, when I was 21 years old. Friends carried me home and put me in bed. I got up again after they left and went out and have almost no memory of events after that, just a few glimpses of being with strangers and "partying". Luckily, I bumped into an acquaintance who took care of me and got me home safely, but told me the next day that my behaviour was obnoxious. I ended up in a potentially dodgy situation that night, until rescued by the acquaintance.

I got such a shock/fright about how vulnerable I was, that I've never done that again.

I would suggest that you learn your limits and stick to them, no matter how the night is unfolding. Sparkling water, a soft drink in between, whatever works for you. And, I would say, never, ever drink shots, they don't agree with most people and can led to some crazy behaviour.

Hey..
Ah, blackouts..i remember them well..yeah, they wont get any better..just more frequent,.maybe just stick to beer..keep away from spirits..and cider too i found..(dunno is it something to do with sugar levels or something)..you should probably consider giving it up though what with the ocd..but thats a decision you've to make yourself..i cant believe this is the second time in a week i've said this on boards, but maybe consider giving the aa or na meetings a go..they can work..

TheChizler

I don't think the OP sounds like an alcoholic, just a typical 21 year old learning their limits.

Lux23

You might be a lightweight but I would be embrace that. If you can drink two pints, get merry and then wake up the next morning with no side effects this is a good thing. But annoying a girl when you're drunk demonstrates that you may not suit drink at all. But, do you use drink to loosen up? Are you naturally a shy person? Then you may develop problems down the line. So maybe knock the booze on the head for a little while and develop your confidence without it.

leggo

Yeah, a lot of people go through that as they hit their limit with alcohol. Personally, I gave up alcohol when I was 21 because I could see it spiralling out of control, then after a year without drink was able to go back and re-examine my relationship with it, why I used it, what I wanted to achieve etc. It's good to get that perspective (however you do so, I'm not saying you have to do what I did and give up for a year). Drinking to get twisted drunk generally isn't a good idea and will lead you into situations like this. Having a few to loosen you up and de-stress is fine.

Use this scare as a wake-up call. When you were out of your mind and completely out of control of your actions, anything could've happened and you could've had to face the full consequences of the person that you were while drunk. What if, say, you'd gotten in a fight and done serious damage to someone, or inappropriately groped a girl and had the Gardai knocking on your door the next morning? Fortunately it doesn't look like anything did happen, but when you're out of control that's pure luck and many haven't been as lucky. So weigh it up: is it worth getting twisted for the sake of being more sociable, maybe trying to pull, whatever your reasons are, when it could ruin your life?

Maybe drink until you're a bit buzzed, but in control, and switch to the water. Make your peace with the fact that you mightn't pull or be a bit socially awkward and push yourself to do better while sober. Because using alcohol as a crutch to these things could, potentially, ruin your life. Some people can drink, get twisted, and be a great drunk. Others can't. We don't get to choose sadly, we just have to deal with the hand we're dealt.

blinkwink

leggo wrote: »

Yeah, a lot of people go through that as they hit their limit with alcohol. Personally, I gave up alcohol when I was 21 because I could see it spiralling out of control, then after a year without drink was able to go back and re-examine my relationship with it, why I used it, what I wanted to achieve etc. It's good to get that perspective (however you do so, I'm not saying you have to do what I did and give up for a year). Drinking to get twisted drunk generally isn't a good idea and will lead you into situations like this. Having a few to loosen you up and de-stress is fine.

Use this scare as a wake-up call. When you were out of your mind and completely out of control of your actions, anything could've happened and you could've had to face the full consequences of the person that you were while drunk. What if, say, you'd gotten in a fight and done serious damage to someone, or inappropriately groped a girl and had the Gardai knocking on your door the next morning? Fortunately it doesn't look like anything did happen, but when you're out of control that's pure luck and many haven't been as lucky. So weigh it up: is it worth getting twisted for the sake of being more sociable, maybe trying to pull, whatever your reasons are, when it could ruin your life?

Maybe drink until you're a bit buzzed, but in control, and switch to the water. Make your peace with the fact that you mightn't pull or be a bit socially awkward and push yourself to do better while sober. Because using alcohol as a crutch to these things could, potentially, ruin your life. Some people can drink, get twisted, and be a great drunk. Others can't. We don't get to choose sadly, we just have to deal with the hand we're dealt.

I did give up alcohol for nearly a month last year and did fine, but last week was out of control. Ill be avoiding mixing drinks in future, i knew that before but any sense just disappeaered. The lack of knowledge about the blackout period scares the crap out of me. Who knows what i did. What if i killed or raped someone. What suprises me is how I got back to my accomodation in one piece without injuring myself. The whole experience is just horrible.

Ill be going to therapy soon and i can hopefully find a solution.

TheChizler

blinkwink wrote: »

What if i killed or raped someone. What suprises me is how I got back to my accomodation in one piece without injuring myself.
...
Ill be going to therapy soon and i can hopefully find a solution.

Jesus just because you can't remember doesn't mean you're likely to do something that out of character!

Glad to hear you're going to talk to someone about this, your fear is most likely entirely unjustified.

Mrs Woman

Hi OP, you realise yourself that there's a bit of a problem and you're out of control with drink.  Only you can say whether or not you're alcoholic (no one but you can diagnose) but that will become clearer over time.   As others have said, try cutting it down or drinking water in between drinks, if you are still having problems or get out of control then consider giving it up altogether.  If you can't give it up altogether then you may need some help to do so and it would be ideal to discuss it with your therapist.  We all need halp from time to time!

Drinking is not for everyone and there are loads of people like yourself that it just doesn't suit.  So there is no shame at all in that and I think its great to see someone your age become aware of what might be causing them a problem, it shows real self awareness and maturity.

DEFTLEFTHAND

If four cans is doing that to you OP maybe it would be better to abstain from drink.

No shame in that at all, it's a good thing.

I hope you can find a solution to your anxiety issues through the therapy you've decided to take. I'm an anxious and uptight person, and speaking to somebody helped me a lot.