Life choices

pauloz

Hi,

I'm a 28 year old gay guy living in Donegal. Live with parents, got a decent job and studying for my degree part time which I will be finished with in September. I really want to meet someone and finding it tough to live a full life. I really would like to break out on my own and build a life for myself somewhere else - in a city with a more gay population (I also love the anonymity of city life, I can be myself and do my own things without anxiety), I've traveled quite a bit in my 20's, but now all I want is someone to share it with and some companionship. I really don't feel I can do that here. Plus I feel I need my own place at this point.

Here is what worries me:

-Work is paying for my degree which is a total of 6k if I leave within 2 years of completing the course, I will have to pay them back.
-I have a 17k bank Loan
-I will need a new car soon which I will be getting a credit Union loan of 11k for.
-I have about 2k in savings.

My main fear is not being able to survive on my own, especially with the loans, I manage totally fine and can go on multiple holidays a year, but I'm scared I won't be able to do it if I'm paying rent.

But I really don't want to waist my young years....any ideas anyone?
Should I wait the 2 years and leave work without having to pay them back? Or should I just save as much as I can now and go when my degree is finished?

pc7

That's a lot of debt to carry when trying to move to a big city. Would you earn more? Living at home I'm sure your outgoings are very low, could you try pay down your debt? Do you 'want' a new car or really need one, why is it 11k would you not go cheaper? Being up in Donegal you could try an auction in Northern Ireland. I'd try get the personal debt paid down asap or it'll just keep spiralling. Maybe set up a spreadsheet and see your i comings and outgoing, track every cent for a month or two and see what you could live on.

Loveinapril

Staying with the job for the next two years makes the most sense financially. I just cannot believe you are living at home with €17k debt and are considering adding another €11k to that for a car! Sort out your spending, hold out with the job and you will have much better opportunities when you have done that.

Ursus Horribilis

Why are you going on multiple holidays per year with that sort of debt around your neck?

Ursus Horribilis

pauloz wrote: »

My main fear is not being able to survive on my own, especially with the loans, I manage totally fine and can go on multiple holidays a year, but I'm scared I won't be able to do it if I'm paying rent.

I hate to burst your bubble here but I disagree with this. Unless you've got a genuine reason for racking up that amount of debt, it makes no sense that you're €17k in the red and prepared to go deeper. You've got a good job and you're living at home for starters. Then on top of that you talk about multiple holidays a year and spending another €11k on a car? I'm sorry but you appear to have a big problem telling the difference between want and need. Holidays are great but they cost money. Money you don't have.

For now, you would be insane to even think about moving. You are up to your oxters in debt and when that happens, you don't have the luxury of options. Have you ever sat down and worked out where your money is going? Or how you can pay back that money? With this amount of debt around your neck, perhaps you would benefit from contacting MABS.,
I also can't understand why you need to spend €11k on a car. Again, beggars can't be choosers. If you genuinely need a new car then you're going to have to swallow your pride and buy something older and/or is beneath you.

The sooner you get out of debt the sooner you can do something practical about moving out of home. For now, stay put. You've got bigger fish to fry than your love life.

BetsyEllen

Absolute madness!

You're going on multiple holidays a year and taking out 11k for a car? Whilst owing 17k?! Jesus Christ...

Nobody 'needs' a new car.

I'm driving a 17 year old Clio as I refuse to take out a loan - I had trouble with silly spending in the past (an expensive car was one of my mistakes) and racked up debt. I'll never let that happen again.

If I owed €17k at 28 I'd barely be sleeping at night, never mind taking out another loan. Living at home rent free you should have 17k in savings, not the other way around!
You really need to cop on.

pauloz

Ok so my mind is totally made up! save and start paying down the loan! screw holidays and new car, Ill fix up the one i have!! I could easily save 1000 a month with over 700 left for spending!

BetsyEllen

pauloz wrote: »

Ok so my mind is totally made up! save and start paying down the loan! screw holidays and new car, Ill fix up the one i have!! I could easily save 1000 a month with over 700 left for spending!

If you can easily save €1000 per month then your entire loan could be gone in 17 months. Less than a year and a half.
And you've secure employment whilst paying it off.

So this would be the best plan - commit to clearing it, it will be long gone by the time your 2 years at work is finished so you'll also have a few months to save for a move.

If you really need to buy a car in the meantime for whatever reason, buy a cheap run-around with your current 2k savings. You could get a great little car for this amount. It will do you fine for the next 2 years.

Un1corn

Seriously, if I was you I would work to turn around the debt situation as soon as possible. 17k at 28 is frightening. I would be cutting costs everywhere until the debt was at 0. Then I'd start to consider a move to the city. You are still young and can turn it around. Just takes some severe spending adjustments and you'll be grand at 30-31 with a bright future and you'll have a degree paid off and you won't have to pay for it.

I'd just try to enjoy whatever lifestyle you can at your parents until you are in a situation to move out.

Ursus Horribilis

Even if you met Mr Right in the morning, that debt you have run up would be a problem. Chances are you'd pile up even more debt through socialising, dates, trips away etc. You're also getting towards the age when people are thinking more seriously about buying their own place. Where would you come up with the deposit for a rented place, let alone a house?

I thought you were going to come back to us and say your car was an irreparable pile of junk but that seems to be not the case. Perhaps you might have a think about why you were so eager to buy an 11k car rather than repair your own. Is it an insight into your attitude to money? Hopefully this will be a wake up call for you and set you in the road to better financial habits in the future. Money is one of the biggest reasons why couples split.

Parchment

You could buy a very decent car for 4.5k.

Taking a large loan out for a car is the same as flushing money down the toilet in my opinion.

Wesser

I'm going to b go against the grain here and say that if you are a gay man you should get the he'll out of donegal and get to Dublin asap and start enjoying a more liberal and free lifestyle. I think it is the place to be if you are a gay man. This might mean as soon as your degree is finished. You do not need a car living in dublin. Clear your debts asap and forget multiple holidays and 11 k cars.

Ursus Horribilis

I don't think anybody is suggesting he stay in Donegal indefinitely. Or have I missed something?

Tokyo

It's understandable that you want to make some changes in your life and want to meet somebody that you can share it with - regardless of sexual orientation, it's something that most people strive for, and I applaud the fact that you want to take the steps to do so. However, you do have a few millstones hanging around your neck at the moment in terms of debt, so rather than looking at the situation as something you can change immediately, it may be better to treat it as a target - something to aim for over the next year (or two), while you get your life in order. In my experience, life rarely gives us what we want at the flip of a switch anyways, so even if you do decide you want a new life tomorrow morning, the reality is that it will still take time, so it's time well spent planning it out properly.

-Work is paying for my degree which is a total of 6k if I leave within 2 years of completing the course, I will have to pay them back.

Other than the obvious lump sum of cash that leaving your job will set you back (putting you even further into debt), I presume your company is paying for your degree because it's relevant to the field you are working in with them. Therefore the experience you are gaining with them is a marketable commodity, and will ensure a better future for you when you do decide to strike out on your own. For that reason alone, it's worth sticking with it for now - you can always use the time to look at the possibility of jobs in your field in cities you are considering settling down in. Having potential jobs lined up when you do decide to move puts you in a far better position than just moving somewhere new, and hoping for the best.

-I will need a new car soon which I will be getting a credit Union loan of 11k for.

With respect, unless you're leaving something out of your background story, you don't need a new car. If you currently have a car, have you considered trying to get another two years out of it? Or purchasing a cheap secondhand car to get you by? Or public transport? I appreciate that much of Donegal is off the beaten track, but it may be an option at least part of the time.

-I have a 17k bank Loan
-I have about 2k in savings.

This is the big one. That loan isn't going away anytime soon, so I would suggest sitting down with your bank and discussing a realistic repayment plan. You're currently working, therefore you're earning, and you have enough disposable income that you (a) have savings, and (b) go on multiple holidays each year, so it does sound like you've put it on the back burner a bit. I'm not saying you have to live a spartan lifestyle, but there is certainly room for cutting back, and paying even some of that loan back over the next while will put you in a much better position once you strike out on your own.

So long story short - get your affairs in order, particularly your outstanding loans. Do that, and your chances of building a new life for yourself somewhere else, without anxiety, will increase exponentially. I wish you luck with it.

Wanderer2010

BetsyEllen wrote: »

Absolute madness!

You're going on multiple holidays a year and taking out 11k for a car? Whilst owing 17k?! Jesus Christ...

Nobody 'needs' a new car.

I'm driving a 17 year old Clio as I refuse to take out a loan - I had trouble with silly spending in the past (an expensive car was one of my mistakes) and racked up debt. I'll never let that happen again.

If I owed €17k at 28 I'd barely be sleeping at night, never mind taking out another loan. Living at home rent free you should have 17k in savings, not the other way around!
You really need to cop on.

Why exactly "should" you have 17k in savings just because you live at home? I cant stand people who see someone in Situation X and come to Conclusion Y eg you live at home = flowing in cash. Not so. What if you are living with one parent, who is sick and needs care, you are already in debt so cant afford outside help? As well as that you DO pay rent for your upkeep, work a full time job, pay the bills as well as all the other normal outgoings a person has like credit cards, car insurance, petrol etc etc. Living at home does NOT automatically mean a cushy life.

OP, I woudnt go with the new car but theres no need to curb ALL your holidays either, Some people here cant sleep if they owe a penny. My attitude is I would rather be in debt and be a richer person having seen some of the world than sticking to a miserable budget eating veg soup all week and having your only treat as a can of coke once a month. Leave the people who want to do that to their miserable lives, you only live once!