Should I Break Up

LegacyUser

I'm in my late 20's and have been going out with a girl for 4 months. I think she is a lovely person and has not done anything to warrant me breaking up with her, in fact she is very sweet caring loyal and trustworthy. She is also taking the relationship a lot more seriously than me and talks about having kids. She is not from Ireland and has one child from a previous relationship.

I however do not feel that spark that makes me think I want to be with her far into the future. The relationship is convenient for me at the moment but the thoughts of being with her forever scare me a lot. I do however dread the thought of breaking up with her as she says she loves me and it would hurt her a lot. What should I do?

pgj2015

100% break up with her asap, what if you get her pregnant? you dont want t have a child with someone you are not that interested in.

Ursus Horribilis

Of course you should break up with her. Why do you think you shouldn't?

B.A._Baracus

If you've ultimately made up your mind then do the decent thing and break up with her. Just be honest and say the points you've said already.
I get that you don't want to break her heart but you can't avoid that. Better to do it now after 4 months than after 8 months or 12 months etc.

BoredFan

Just remember, women will break up with you, for far less, and they will have already got someone else lined up, asking for some 'space'!
Don't feel bad, if you don't feel it.

rainbowtrout

If you break up with her, yes she's going to be hurt. But she will get over it. If you stay with her, just so her feelings don't get hurt, you are going to be pissed off that you are in a relationship you don't want to be in. What is the point in that? Sometimes you have to put yourself first.

peckerhead

It's not even about putting yourself first, OP. It's just about being honest. It sounds like she deserves that, if nothing else?

colmdel

You should break up with this girl op, it will only become much more difficult and painful as time goes on.

mapaca

BoredFan wrote:

Just remember, women will break up with you, for far less, and they will have already got someone else lined up, asking for some 'space'! Don't feel bad, if you don't feel it.

Bit of a sweeping generalisation there, no?

OP, if you're not feeling it and don't see a future, break up with her. It's not fair to string her along. She'll be fine.

py2006

Loves you after 4 months and talking babies?!?!?

LegacyUser

BoredFan wrote: »

Just remember, women will break up with you, for far less, and they will have already got someone else lined up, asking for some 'space'!
Don't feel bad, if you don't feel it.

OP, ignore this generalised, misogynistic nonsense.

You should probably break up with her, because you have very different needs and directions in the future, so no happiness there for at least one of you and probably both of you.

Ursus Horribilis

py2006 wrote: »

Loves you after 4 months and talking babies?!?!?

I wonder could there be a little "accident" on the horizon? Be careful OP.

LegacyUser

Original Poster here, thinking about breaking up this week-end, breaks my heart really but now I've got to do it. I've grown to like her child so it will be hard. I really care for her too. I just don't feel the spark in the relationship.

py2006

Original 88 wrote: »

Original Poster here, thinking about breaking up this week-end, breaks my heart really but now I've got to do it. I've grown to like her child so it will be hard. I really care for her too. I just don't feel the spark in the relationship.

Best of luck

Ursus Horribilis

Original 88 wrote: »

Original Poster here, thinking about breaking up this week-end, breaks my heart really but now I've got to do it. I've grown to like her child so it will be hard. I really care for her too. I just don't feel the spark in the relationship.

I hope you manage to go through with it this weekend. As I've learned through experience, these sorts of conversations do not get easier to have as time goes on. It's better to rip off the plaster now. Best of luck!

Dial Hard

Original 88 wrote:

Original Poster here, thinking about breaking up this week-end, breaks my heart really but now I've got to do it. I've grown to like her child so it will be hard. I really care for her too. I just don't feel the spark in the relationship.

This woman sounds bats, OP. After four months you shouldn't have even met the child yet, tbh.

Walter H Price

4 Months and talking love and kids already , get out now OP this can only end badly if you don't want to be single long start getting on tinder now while plotting your exit strategy

road_high

Walter H Price wrote: »

4 Months and talking love and kids already , get out now OP this can only end badly if you don't want to be single long start getting on tinder now while plotting your exit strategy

I think out of courtesy and respect for his soon to be ex GF he should wait until he's broken up with her to be even thinking of new relationships, let alone getting started on Tinder (which is shallow sh1te by the way).

Walter H Price

road_high wrote: »

I think out of courtesy and respect for his soon to be ex GF he should wait until he's broken up with her to be even thinking of new relationships, let alone getting started on Tinder (which is shallow sh1te by the way).

was only addressing the OPs point that the relationship was convenient for him , read into that he wasn't too keen on going back to being single , no harm in looking if he knows hes going to pull the trigger anyway

Big Bag of Chips

And what if one of her friends sees him on Tinder and they're not broken up yet?? Ridiculous advice, that could lead to a lot of unnecessary hurt. He plans on breaking up with her at the weekend. Surely most people could control themselves and be "inconvenienced" (convenience was mentioned) for a few days until they do the descent thing and breakup with one girl first.

Ursus Horribilis

Also, the OP cares about her and her child. If he went ahead and ended the relationship at the weekend, he's probably not going to feel all that wonderful right now.

lunalex

Good luck OP its the best decision for you you heart just isn't in it!!!!