How to control my drinking?

LegacyUser

I'm just looking for tips on how to control my alcohol consumption or even quit.

Any tips?

I tried dry January and I lasted until the 8th. Then I said I would try a dry February and lasted until the 2nd.

Sometimes I go to the shop to get some bread, and come back with a load of cans. I can't go a week without getting absolutely smashed, no matter how many times I try. I would quite often drink by myself at home. Not just drink but get smashed on a bag of cans. During the midweek drink by myself I would have 7 or 8 cans/500ml bottles and then struggle in work the next day. Sometimes I'm still drunk going to work. During the weekend it's the usual stuff with friends. Then repeat over and over.

I'd love to be able to just have one or two cold beers and call it a night.

So, if I want to just give my body a break for just 30 days, how do I go about it? I don't want to quit drinking entirely, I just want to be able to control my consumption.

silverharp

You sound like you are well into problem drinking but if you have a normal Mon-Fri work week should be able to go Sun-Turs without drinking, if you cant, go to a GP and get medical advice. Maybe join a gym and go those nights during the week so you are not just sitting in.

baby and crumble

TBH OP I can't imagine drinking at the level you do so I can't offer many tips except get professional help. Going to pick up bread and milk and coming back with random cans hints at something more sinister than just poo willpower. Maybe think about why you want to drink all the time in the first place?

zoobizoo

Are you bored?

Do you do anything else in the evenings ?

Do you live alone?

up for anything

boozey wrote: »

I don't want to quit drinking entirely, I just want to be able to control my consumption.

Unless you can contemplate quitting entirely you'll find it very difficult to control your consumption.

When I smoked and people talked to me/at me/around me about intentions to quit and quitting it just made me reach for my pack of fags and then some. It's the same with diets. Any talk of dieting and suddenly it becomes imperative to inhale all the 'good' foods before the famine begins. I'm not or have ever been a drinker but I'd imagine it's the same thing. Just think about quitting and cutting down and you're convinced that you need to have one last blowout. You need to be able to think about cutting down/giving up without that internal panic and loss of control.

You should go to your GP and look for advice and also maybe think about counselling because in common with most of the country it sounds like your relationship with alcohol is disastrous. If alcohol were a person you'd be trying to end the relationship. Also if work realise that you're still half cut from the night before then you'll probably be sacked in short order with no comeback one of these weeks. It's difficult to have a weekend social life of the kind you describe when you're on the dole. It'll be all cans at home and nasty cheap ones at that if you continue on this road.

Clampdown

Just going to be blunt here: you basically have already said you can't control it. You have to get that into your head and just quit.

People who don't have alcohol problems don't really feel the need to control their drinking, they can naturally stop when they should, the same way person without food issues can stop eating when they're satisfied.

You'll likely find that when you have to control your drinking, you won't enjoy it anyway. And that when you enjoy your drinking, you're unable to control it and end up smashed.

Alcohol is an addictive drug, it just happens to be legal. Once you realise that, you will understand that having just one or two isn't going to happen for those of us who are prone to addiction.

Life without alcohol is a major adjustment, especially in Ireland, but it is so worth it. Your mental an physical health will be so much better, you save loads of money, and you won't have whole days wasted from being hungover, and you won't do embarrassing stupid things that make you cringe the next day.

The toughest parts are events like weddings where it feels like torture at times without the loosening up effect from alcohol, but it gets easier with time. The small bit of suffering you endure being sober at a drinking occasion is nothing compared to the suffering of a bad hangover.

Estrellita

You won't like what I have to say, but there is no sense in me sugar coating it. You do have a drink problem, you're a functioning alcoholic.

People think that having a few drinks is fun and relaxing, and it is - when you are in control of it. I've often heard the phrase 'drink is the devil', but you don't give it much thought unless you have to face the demon yourself.

Most people don't really notice the subtle way drink starts to take over their lives. It make leak in as a destresser or two after work the odd night, to becoming a nightly thing. By which stage alcohol has set up camp in your head, and it's now an addiction. You are still convinced you can give it up any time, but on your nights off it, why is it so hard?

The fact of the matter is, you are going to have to give it up, indefinitely. Temptation is everywhere. You'll have to make other arrangements for your weekends too. There is a huge amount of things you can do instead of drinking, if you head over to the non-drinkers forum you will see that for yourself.

Instead of drinking during the week, why don't you fill it up with new things to do? You could take a class in the evenings. Head to the gym. Swimming us a lovely relaxing way of blowing off steam. This journey isn't going to be an easy one, so accept that you may need help. Alcohol is addictive, and powerful enough to make s.hit of your life. See your GP and explain where you are at, and get a check up. They can provide you with great advice and link you to supports.

A lot of people shun the AA meetings, but just go. You won't feel so isolated about this if you do. There are people from all walks of life at these meetings, so don't pre-judge people who attend.

'The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem' - I hope you get a handle on this, best of luck.

beans

Friends with similar drink problems have always cited the boredom as a major factor, along with insomnia.

To address the second point, melatonin supplements are very effective for turning yourself off in the evening without drowsiness the next day. If you're finding it hard to rest when not drinking, they're worth consideration, you can buy them on e-bay.

I've never really seen the insomnia point raised on threads like these, so thought it worth a mention.

Merkin

boozey wrote: »

I'd love to be able to just have one or two cold beers and call it a night.

So, if I want to just give my body a break for just 30 days, how do I go about it? I don't want to quit drinking entirely, I just want to be able to control my consumption.

Both quite telling statements as you clearly have an alcohol dependency. The fact that you want to try and control but are unable or unwilling to quit for a while suggests that you feel you can't.

This is quite a good article (even if it is in the Indo) about a girl who decided to quit for 30 days and what happened.

http://www.independent.ie/life/health-wellbeing/health-features/i-have-done-100-days-alcohol-free-saved-1000-and-dropped-a-jean-size-could-you-survive-one-year-with-no-beer-35356933.html

I think if you're to re-evaluate and reshape your relationship with alcohol then you need to stop completely for a little while.

vandriver

My Dad(dry for 30 years alcoholic) said to me one time when I was trying to control my own intake that only alcoholics go on the dry.
It took many more years of drinking before I got the truth behind the statement.

LegacyUser

I didn't see your age but I can give my experience.

When I was in early 20s to early 30s I was drinking around 25-30 pints a week. At least half of it at home. For me it was a bit of boredom as some people have commented. Also I am naturally restless, so if I was in on a saturday I would drink at home until i got drunk. I would always drink thurs - sun but take the other days off. Around christmas I would drink every day for about a month.

Once I hit my early 30s I knew something had to change. So I took up running and the gym. Also started doing after work study. I stopped dropped drinking thurs, so that was 4 nights without beers. I also cut the number of beers down to bring the total to around 15 a week. At 39 I have now I have cut sunday out and am down to around 10-12 a week.

I did take a month last year to see if I could do it. I could but I was scared doing it. I had drank every weekend for 20 years! Alcohol is a part of my life. I know I don't have a great relationship with it but my point is that you can control it if you have discipline. It's not easy though.

valoren

Ask yourself this question. Answer it honestly.

If I told you that from this moment on you can never drink alcohol again.
Would that annoy you? Upset you? Anger you?
Or would it be ok. Wouldn't really bother you?

With alcohol, you can't have your cake and eat it. You would like to simply have 1 or 2, but can't stop once you've started. You have a drinking problem. You're not alone.
If someone asked me a similar question, I think I could just about manage to never drink again.
I would certainly miss it but I know I could succeed. To that end I too would have a drinking problem, but I know I can just about manage it currently.
If someone told me that I could never smoke again it wouldn't bother me in the slightest. Why? I never smoked. I'm not addicted to nicotine.

Try this exercise.
Write down past events where alcohol has been a negative experience for you.
It could be throwing up on the street, getting into trouble with the law, fighting, arguing etc etc.
Try to date them, try to place them, pubs you were at, the people you were with, what you said, what happened. Make it as detailed as possible.

Then realise that the likelihood of those same negative experiences will likely never happen again.
You'll understand that alcohol is actually the most nefarious drug of them all.
It is psychoactive, it is legal and it is framed by society as you having a drink, not the reality, which is that you're actually taking drugs.
You'll become very angry for having allowed yourself to be fooled.

This is not to say that you can never drink again. It is more to help you realise what it actually is and how it needs to be respected. You can still imbibe but the implications thereafter will be your responsibility fully. You can still drink, but you need to be an informed drinker.

Eternal Anglo

Instead of getting wrecked on 8 cans of cheap lager, why not just buy 2-3 bottles of good quality beer? Go home, enjoy them and have a nice mellow buzz.

MartyMcFly84

I had a similar issue, but had friends who worked or owned bars so I never felt I was drinking alone so much, which hid the problem from myself as a tell tale sign. If I was bored at home I would go up and see them, go to gigs, karaoke etc mid week, but all my socialising was done in a bar and that is where i met and bumped into all my friends at the time. On Fridays I would go straight to the bar and same again Saturday and most of Sunday. I lived right beside a number of bars which didn't help as I would pop in on the way home.

I found getting involved in sports (martial arts for me), and starting evening courses and changing my environment help me immensely. It filled up my schedule and gave me something to look forward to after work, or to work towards. To the point I rarely have time for a hangover.

I moved and changed my circle of friends of the most part as I realised anytime I was around them I would drink and they would join in on the fun. I was always the last one standing who didn't want to go home. I am still a bit like that to this day but I limit myself to handful of times a year. Or when I go visit my old friends for a couple days I have a blow out there but then don't touch it for weeks closer to months at a time when I am back in my " real life".

Its probably not the best way to deal with it, but it is working for me and helped me turn my life around.

Neon_Lights

boozey wrote: »

I'm just looking for tips on how to control my alcohol consumption or even quit.

Any tips?

I tried dry January and I lasted until the 8th. Then I said I would try a dry February and lasted until the 2nd.

Sometimes I go to the shop to get some bread, and come back with a load of cans. I can't go a week without getting absolutely smashed, no matter how many times I try. I would quite often drink by myself at home. Not just drink but get smashed on a bag of cans. During the midweek drink by myself I would have 7 or 8 cans/500ml bottles and then struggle in work the next day. Sometimes I'm still drunk going to work. During the weekend it's the usual stuff with friends. Then repeat over and over.

I'd love to be able to just have one or two cold beers and call it a night.

So, if I want to just give my body a break for just 30 days, how do I go about it? I don't want to quit drinking entirely, I just want to be able to control my consumption.

Do you have any hobbies which don't involve drinking?

LegacyUser

gumby_gold wrote: »

you can control it if you have discipline.

No, you can't. If you have an addiction, you're never in control. You might have a period of apparent control, even short-term abstinence, but you're still dependent, as the rest of your story illustrates because all you've done is manage to fill your time with something else and reduce the volume of your drinking, you don't appear to have at all addressed the emotional foundations of your dependency. When the day comes that you find you have time on your hands, the emotional issues will still be there and you'll see why you are anything but in control of your drinking.

OP, I'm sure you could stop drinking for 10 days, or a month, maybe even 3 months, but that'd be a sticking plaster at best and probably just fool you into thinking you're in control when you're anything but. Stop the short-term thinking, admit the true depth and scale of the problem to yourself, seek proper support to address the emotional reasons you drink and with that help, stop drinking.

Xterminator

Eternal Anglo wrote: »

Instead of getting wrecked on 8 cans of cheap lager, why not just buy 2-3 bottles of good quality beer? Go home, enjoy them and have a nice mellow buzz.

Because he is alcohol dependant and cannot stop after 3.

OP you are going have to get your head around the fact that you need to help. I suggest a trip to the GP, and get yourself a little help. GP will be great here.

also check out this website
http://www.drugs.ie/alcohol_info/stage_of_alcohol_use/changing_your_drinking/

You will may to rearrange your social life because you not going to sit in a pub drinking 7up. As mentioned earlier if you can take up a hobby like going to the gym, it might help you turn things around.

Danjamin1

Is it the specifically the alcohol or just the act of drinking you find yourself drawn to? Have you tried substituting the bag of cans with a few non-alcoholic beers? I enjoy a beer but if I've to get up the next morning the last thing I want is a hangover. There's a few non-alcoholic options that are quite nice & still have that beer flavour just without the alcohol. Becks Blue, Krombacher, Bavaria do alcohol free options. Erdinger do a 500ml bottle too but I don't find it as nice, it's still an ok alternative though.

Yeah, I dunno can it really be controlled..
If you decide you want to stop,maybe see about giving aa meetings a go..they can work..

I'm a recovered drug user, AMA

Best of luck OP whatever you chose. Something has gotta change.

Parchment

You need to quit. I quit and it was one of the best decisions i ever made.

I think (based on what you have wrote) if you manage to stay off it for 30 days you will go on a bender once those days are up.

What does drinking give you? It doesnt sound like it gives you anything positive.