How to inform ex that I'm dating a mutual friend?

blacksheep12

Hi all,

Long story short, myself and ex dated for 2 years, and were engaged. We decided to end, due to a real realisation that were not meant to be together. Very different personalities, goals, interests etc.

We split a few weeks ago. It was not a bad break up. Ex has moved on, and is currently dating and were both moving on with their life in the direction we want.

We keep in contact, chat, meet for coffee etc.

We initially met through work, via a large social group.

I've become close(r) with one of the other members of the group, who is a friend to both of us.

We have recently both expressed interest in dating each other.

We have had several dates together and we seem to have a nice connection which we would like to explore. We would like to be able to be together in social groups etc and not have to refrain from being ourselves when my ex is around.

Any advice on how to approach this with my ex?

coffeyt

I would just be up front about it especially considering the break up was mutual and you both still get on well.
I dated a mutual friend of my husband's before we got together and we were just honest about it all which I found to be the easiest option.
Like you we were all friends within a large group and my husband was the one who told my ex, just in a 'heads up' kind of way. We didn't make a big deal out of it. At the end of the day you have all moved on so he shouldn't have a problem with it.
My ex actually ended up being a groomsman at our wedding so it doesn't need to be awkward at all.

leggo

Yeah, or it could go the other way too and they may take it badly, which causes people to take sides, which may cause you guys to lose some people (including the ex) out of your life. So be prepared for that possibility too and ask yourself is this thing worth that. Then all you can do is the honourable thing, be honest and up front with the ex and hope for the best, so at least if it does go the other way you know you did the right thing at least.

Rekop dog

I never understand these inbred group of friends. There's tonnes of people out there to chose from, it's always bad form imo to get involved with a friend of an ex. Have some respect for yourself and ex and don't pursue this. But if you do, be prepared to be disowned by friends who'll be more supportive of your ex.

B.A._Baracus

Just be honest and say you two are dating (when you get into a relationship)

Dare I be blunt..... Who cares if your ex doesn't like it. She's moved on to someone else now it's your turn to. Just so happens it's with a mutual friend. But that happens a lot in life.

Friends come and go so do relationships (your ex being a testament to that!) but this is someone you want to pursue things with so go for it. So this is the future and your ex is the past now.

I get you don't want any hassle. Who does. But all you can do is just be open and honest. Its on her end if she has an issue with it.... And if she does.... Tough.

Bambi985

I wouldn't be flaunting my new love in my ex's face when out with our group of mutual friends if it was me personally. the breakup is a few weeks old and even if the ex has moved on, it doesn't mean you carrying on with one of his/her (?you never mentioned) mates in front of his/her face is the most kind or appropriate action you could take. it doesn't mean it would be received well at all.

GingerLily

Your only a few weeks out of an engagement do you not think maybe take a break from relationships for a while?