Coping with anxiety

LegacyUser

my other half suffers from bad anxiety and its starting to take its tole, we've been together 4 years, living together for 2 but throughout our relationship its been constant, be it with me or daily life

they're a great person, kind, friendly, hot and i love my oh but i dont think im happy. we're quite different people, me the extrovert, oh the introvert and we have v dif outlooks on life and are at dif stages of where are in life, be that career, financial, goals etc. they constantly doubt my commitment, and now i dont know if im able for it anymore. ive tried being supportive and more understanding but sometimes i can tend to get annoyed cos i feel it goes nowhere, and to be honest its like we go round in circles

any similar stories, advice, or how to deal with it?

leggo

Anxiety in a partner is tough to deal with. You're either able for it or you're not, and there's no shame or weakness if you're not. I was with someone who suffered from it and now I know I have my own wants and needs that I'm selfishly not willing to sacrifice for future partners' issues. My good mate is also with someone with anxiety and he sails through it, he's laid back and goes with the wind so it goes right over his head and he can be the partner she needs. Don't be afraid to admit to yourself that you're not the guy for this person if it's making you unhappy.

LegacyUser

Hi op here and thanks for your reply. I'm finding it very draining tbh, I started a new job a few months ago and there's jealousy there about women in the workplac etc, I don't met my friends much anymore cos it's too much hassle, and need to constantly reassure I'm happy in the relationship, in love etc. Am I mad to throw away the relationship for that?

If things were to end, my gf would take it very bad, like all breakups I suppose, but what happens after? I pay most the rent and all the bills, food, holidays, cinema etc and can cover the rent on my own as I'm fortunate to have a good salary but I'm worried for her and what she'll do

leggo

You can't stay with someone just because you're worried about what they'll do if you don't (and besides way more often than not those worries, in terms of someone doing something crazy, are unfounded and they're upset but ultimately grand). You guys are far along in your relationship, so rather than blind-siding her and resolving to break-up while she's completely unaware, why not just tell her how you're feeling with an open mind to possibly working things out? She may force your hand and a break-up might come naturally, she may see how serious you are and make a serious effort to work on things, but at least the chances of her reacting badly will be massively reduced if it doesn't come as a shock and she knows something is coming if you do decide to split down the line.