14 year old girl texting 20 year old

kate357

Would you call the guards if a 20 year old man was engaging in sexual texts with a 14 year old girl?

lawred2

er yeah

do you really need guidance on this?

If he knows she's 14 then yes.

Shannon757

Definitely

jobbridge4life

Immediate answer yes.

More nuanced response...

Are you sure of his age and the nature of the texts?
Does he know her age, or is there a chance of catfishing etc?

I'm like 90% a yes.

kate357

I'm not 100% on age but I've tracked him down on Facebook.

Shannon757

kate357 wrote: »

I'm not 100% on age but I've tracked him down on Facebook.

How did he contact her?

Thoie

Let the gardaí know, and they can determine his age, if he knows her age, etc. If it's a genuine mistake and he didn't know her age, he'll cut off all contact immediately and be more careful in future. If not, then the gardaí have his information and can follow up.

kate357

Snapchat, h knows she's 14, she said it to him. All the chats are saved on her side.

silverharp

I'd want the background story first but if he knew or ought to have known she was 14 then yeah, totally inappropriate.

pilly

Is it you Kate?

BorneTobyWilde

Could be general chit chat.
Should find out more first I would think.

dexter_morgan

kate357 wrote: »

Snapchat, h knows she's 14, she said it to him. All the chats are saved on her side.

Definitely report it to the Gardai. He is a proper creep if he is sending sexual texts to a girl he knows is 14.

RustyNut

kate357 wrote: »

I'm not 100% on age but I've tracked him down on Facebook.

So he might not be 20, 17 or 18 maybe?

kate357

No it's not me. The guards are on the way

Jack the Stripper

BorneTobyWilde wrote: »

Could be general chit chat.
Should find out more first I would think.

You wouldn't be saying that if it were your own daughter.

pilly

kate357 wrote: »

No it's not me. The guards are on the way

Good, you did the right thing. It's not acceptable for anyone over 18 to be sending sexual texts to a 14 year old and could lead to more dangerous stuff.

Mind yourself and your friend.

BorneTobyWilde

Jack the Stripper wrote: »

You wouldn't be saying that if it were your own daughter.

I'd find out more, like who he is and his age. She's not sure if he is 16 ,17,18,19,20, or 55. I'm not saying ignore it, geez no !

Thoie

BorneTobyWilde wrote: »

I'd find out more, like who he is and his age. She's not sure if he is 16 ,17,18,19,20, or 55. I'm not saying ignore it, geez no !

The gardaí can find his age out a lot easier than all sorts of amateur sleuthing - if it's someone local they can just rock up and say "hi, how old are you?". If it's the neighbour's 15 year old, it won't go any further (though both sets of parents may be having chats with the kids). If there is anything more sinister going on (which there probably isn't), then the gardaí are the right people to deal with it.

jobbridge4life

kate357 wrote: »

Snapchat, h knows she's 14, she said it to him. All the chats are saved on her side.

And you've seen them and they are of concern to you and definitely of a sexual nature? And you are certain she has told him?

If its yes to both of them get onto the guards.

kate357

Who ever he is, what ever age he is, anyone that want to tie up a 14 year old child so "he can have total power & do whatever he wants" is a predator.

punisher5112

I would suggest removing the phone until your child is old enough. Get one that you can see everything done on it.
Contact gardai right away.

jobbridge4life

kate357 wrote: »

Who ever he is, what ever age he is, anyone that want to tie up a 14 year old child so "he can have total power & do whatever he wants" is a predator.

WTF is wrong with some people...

BorneTobyWilde

kate357 wrote: »

Who ever he is, what ever age he is, anyone that want to tie up a 14 year old child so "he can have total power & do whatever he wants" is a predator.

Whoa
That escalated to a different level. Geez you're right to call guards if chat is along those lines.

Ashbx

kate357 wrote: »

Snapchat, h knows she's 14, she said it to him. All the chats are saved on her side.

If she kept screen shots of their conversations on snap chat, he would have got a notification that she took a screen shot. And if he was 20 knowingly talking to an underage 14 year old, im sure he would get a bit worried that the girls was screen shotting all the conversations. So id say he feels like he has nothing to worry about. And which may mean he may be younger than 20.

But you did a good thing calling the guards! If it was me, I would be advising my daughter not to accept friend requests from strangers on any form of social media. Im nearly 30 and even I don't accept strangers on social media!

Hope it all works out anyway! And good for you for keeping an eye on her! The internet is dangerous place for kids these days unfortunately.

SEPT 23 1989

I have a daughter around that age and if that was happening i would go and have a little chat with the 20 year old

bigpink

How did contact start?

Maybe I'm in the wrong here (clearly, based on previous responses) but I think getting the Gardai involved is a tad dramatic.

Firstly find out whats going on and go from there. Did your 14 year old message him first? Is he actually not at all interested but just playing along to keep her occupied (he could be a decent chap that reckons he's better off keeping her chatting, instead of her talking to someone else who may actually have a more sinister side), etc etc.

I just think that a quick word or such is a better way to go about things than anything else. If you have him on FB then maybe even a quick PM/phone call.

If it was him that initiated the contact with her and started banging on about tying her up etc then I'd probably be a bit more concerned, but having no background or context makes it a bit difficult for me personally to stamp 'predator' on him.

kate357

Not going to say much more on this but apparently he has previous.

Sleeper12

Believe it or not it's called grooming. Doesn't matter how keen she is on the idea. If caught the 20 year old can go to jail and would be classified as not just a sex offender but a peadophile. Its a debate no, no. I'd report it in a heartbeat

Loveinapril

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Maybe I'm in the wrong here (clearly, based on previous responses) but I think getting the Gardai involved is a tad dramatic.

A grown man sending sexualised texts to a child???

It is called grooming.

OP you were 100% correct calling the gardaí.

alroley

Deleted User wrote: »

Maybe I'm in the wrong here (clearly, based on previous responses) but I think getting the Gardai involved is a tad dramatic.

Firstly find out whats going on and go from there. Did your 14 year old message him first? Is he actually not at all interested but just playing along to keep her occupied (he could be a decent chap that reckons he's better off keeping her chatting, instead of her talking to someone else who may actually have a more sinister side), etc etc.

WTF??? This is NEVER okay. A "decent chap" would block and ignore if he received messages like that from a young teenager.

lawred2

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Maybe I'm in the wrong here (clearly, based on previous responses) but I think getting the Gardai involved is a tad dramatic.

Firstly find out whats going on and go from there. Did your 14 year old message him first? Is he actually not at all interested but just playing along to keep her occupied (he could be a decent chap that reckons he's better off keeping her chatting, instead of her talking to someone else who may actually have a more sinister side), etc etc.

I just think that a quick word or such is a better way to go about things than anything else. If you have him on FB then maybe even a quick PM/phone call.

If it was him that initiated the contact with her and started banging on about tying her up etc then I'd probably be a bit more concerned, but having no background or context makes it a bit difficult for me personally to stamp 'predator' on him.

Yeah you're wrong.

freshpopcorn

You went to the Gardai so you did the right thing.
I'm nearly twenty five and I grew up with mobile phones and social media so I did experience similar things to this and I generally found the girls who messaged older guys generally went onto do it again. So I would keep an eye on your daughters social media accounts and try and make sure she doesn't have several accounts.(this is just my experience)

TimeToShine

lawred2 wrote: »

Yeah you're wrong.

Unless there is 100% concrete proof that he is 20 and he knows that she's 14 then I think he's right. The OP isn't sure about any part of their story from what I've seen - if she was then she definitely would have called the gardai herself.

JaMarcusHustle

Deleted User wrote: »

Is he actually not at all interested but just playing along to keep her occupied (he could be a decent chap that reckons he's better off keeping her chatting, instead of her talking to someone else who may actually have a more sinister side), etc etc.

That's literally what every pedo who gets caught by Chris Hansen says.

beechwood55

Have a read of this.
http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/internet-safety-day-hannah-h-mother-paedophile-online-grooming-11-year-old-daughter-facebook-webcam-a7560801.html

pilly

TimeToShine wrote:

Unless there is 100% concrete proof that he is 20 and he knows that she's 14 then I think he's right. The OP isn't sure about any part of their story from what I've seen - if she was then she definitely would have called the gardai herself.

OP has called the Gardai. What is wrong with people that think this is okay? He knew she was 14. She told him.

miamee

TimeToShine wrote: »

Unless there is 100% concrete proof that he is 20 and he knows that she's 14 then I think he's right. The OP isn't sure about any part of their story from what I've seen - if she was then she definitely would have called the gardai herself.

It is the Gardaís job to ascertain his age and if he knew her age with 100% certainty and what exactly he was intending by sending her sexual messages, not the job of the girls parents. Their job is to protect their child from any harm and in this case they called the Gardaí to do that.

MayoAreMagic

freshpopcorn wrote: »

You went to the Gardai so you did the right thing.
I'm nearly twenty five and I grew up with mobile phones and social media so I did experience similar things to this and I generally found the girls who messaged older guys generally went onto do it again. So I would keep an eye on your daughters social media accounts and try and make sure she doesn't have several accounts.(this is just my experience)

Spot on. It might not be nice to hear but some teenage girls do like the idea of an older guy being interested in them, and actively court this kind of thing when it arises. Similarly older guys will talk and a girl who was receptive to one might get end up with messages off a few lads. It is foolish to assume the girl is a completely innocent party as regards this contact. 14 year old girls might be young and impressionable, but they know enough to know that texting 20 year old fellas isn't what they should be at. Viewing her as completely innocent now, might result in missing repeat behaviour in the future.

As for the guy with the 'previous'. On a scale of 1-10, how serious is this previous? (Say the message you found is a 6.5-7)

AndrewJRenko

Worth watching, if a bit disturbing - from the UK

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_o8auwnJtqE

mcgiggles

Ashbx wrote: »

If she kept screen shots of their conversations on snap chat, he would have got a notification that she took a screen shot.  And if he was 20 knowingly talking to an underage 14 year old, im sure he would get a bit worried that the girls was screen shotting all the conversations.  So id say he feels like he has nothing to worry about.  And which may mean he may be younger than 20.

But you did a good thing calling the guards!  If it was me, I would be advising my daughter not to accept friend requests from strangers on any form of social media.  Im nearly 30 and even I don't accept strangers on social media!

Hope it all works out anyway!  And good for you for keeping an eye on her! The internet is dangerous place for kids these days unfortunately.

Not totally true.. You can save the chats in snapchat without screenshotting them, just hold your finger on the line of text/ pic and it saves... no notification to the other person...
Dead right calling the guards OP..

GBX

mcgiggles wrote: »

Not totally true.. You can save the chats in snapchat without screenshotting them, just hold your finger on the line of text/ pic and it saves... no notification to the other person...
Dead right calling the guards OP..

Whilst that may be true - even if this info is pasted into a text document - it is not verifiable that it came from the snapchats.

The Garda are definitely best way to go.

Orion

This is a legal matter best left to the guards so I've closed the thread.