Child support

Jess 1998

Hey guys, so I have been with my boyfriend for a year and we are expecting our first baby in a 3 months and we are so excited but there is one big problem he already has 2 kids from a previous relationship. Both the kids are under 4 and I get along with them so well. We are not living together and are trying to move out but I don t know how we are going to afford it. I am not currently working and my boyfriend is in a very low paid job (350 a week) he is paying his ex €100 a week and I was just wondering will that go down after our baby is born and we are living together because if not we will not be able to move in together. If his ex took him to court could he end up paying more? She is working and lives in a huge house and is pretty well off, but we are seriously struggeling . I can't sleep at night worrying g about all of this. So will he be able to pay less after our baby because hell be supporting and our baby?

njs030

I mean this very nicely Jess but why do you think his older children should suffer because of your child?
Where or how his ex lives is irrelevant, he pays for his childrens clothes, food, rent etc and I guarantee you that €50 per child is nowhere near half of everything unless he takes them half the time as well?

infogiver

Jess 1998 wrote: »

Hey guys, so I have been with my boyfriend for a year and we are expecting our first baby in a 3 months and we are so excited but there is one big problem he already has 2 kids from a previous relationship. Both the kids are under 4 and I get along with them so well. We are not living together and are trying to move out but I don t know how we are going to afford it. I am not currently working and my boyfriend is in a very low paid job (350 a week) he is paying his ex €100 a week and I was just wondering will that go down after our baby is born and we are living together because if not we will not be able to move in together. If his ex took him to court could he end up paying more? She is working and lives in a huge house and is pretty well off, but we are seriously struggeling . I can't sleep at night worrying g about all of this. So will he be able to pay less after our baby because hell be supporting and our baby?

Hi Jess
Is the maintenance your boyfriend pays court ordered or just a casual arrangement between he and his ex?
If it is court ordered then he can go back to court and explain his new circumstances and ask for a variable order but this is very difficult to get and even being brought back to Court will cause further tension between your BF and his ex who understandably is only concerned for her own children.
If its not court ordered then if they cant work out an agreement and your BF insists that he can no longer afford €100 then his ex will take him to court to let the judge decide.
Your boyfriend will be able to claim FIS once your child is born but only in respect of your child, not his other 2.
I agree it is going to be very tight for you all with a 3rd baby on the way but he has an obligation to maintain all of his children as to the very best of his ability.
As a little family you will have to somehow increase your weekly income. In the long run relying on benefits to clothe and feed 3 children is very stressful and difficult to maintain. If you have a friend or family member to mind your baby then maybe you could get a job, or your BF could get a better paid job or maybe even an extra part time job?

Jess 1998

infogiver wrote: »

Hi Jess
Is the maintenance your boyfriend pays court ordered or just a casual arrangement between he and his ex?
If it is court ordered then he can go back to court and explain his new circumstances and ask for a variable order but this is very difficult to get and even being brought back to Court will cause further tension between your BF and his ex who understandably is only concerned for her own children.
If its not court ordered then if they cant work out an agreement and your BF insists that he can no longer afford €100 then his ex will take him to court to let the judge decide.
Your boyfriend will be able to claim FIS once your child is born but only in respect of your child, not his other 2.
I agree it is going to be very tight for you all with a 3rd baby on the way but he has an obligation to maintain all of his children as to the very best of his ability.
As a little family you will have to somehow increase your weekly income. In the long run relying on benefits to clothe and feed 3 children is very stressful and difficult to maintain. If you have a friend or family member to mind your baby then maybe you could get a job, or your BF could get a better paid job or maybe even an extra part time job?

No they came to an agreement when they spilt. I know he's not on the eldest child's birth certificate and she wants to keep it out of court due to some problems she's gotten into a while ago. Im only 18 and had to give up going to college because I simply can't afford to do both. My boyfriend works 4pm to 2.30am so its not an option getting another job especially where we live.

njs030

Jess 1998 wrote: »

No they came to an agreement when they spilt. I know he's not on the eldest child's birth certificate and she wants to keep it out of court due to some problems she's gotten into a while ago. Im only 18 and had to give up going to college because I simply can't afford to do both. My boyfriend works 4pm to 2.30am so its not an option getting another job especially where we live.

Being on the birth certificate has no relevance to maintenance.
Like I previously said child support is about the children not the ex, the lifestyle of the children must stay the same as much as possible.

Maybe your boyfriend could change jobs or you could get a job to support your child which would help

infogiver

Jess 1998 wrote: »

No they came to an agreement when they spilt. I know he's not on the eldest child's birth certificate and she wants to keep it out of court due to some problems she's gotten into a while ago. Im only 18 and had to give up going to college because I simply can't afford to do both. My boyfriend works 4pm to 2.30am so its not an option getting another job especially where we live.

The fact that he's not on the older child's birth certificate doesn't really make any difference because if he tries to say that he's not the biological father then she will definitely go to court for maintenance and the judge will order a DNA test to establish paternity.
Also if he knows he is the biological father then it would be very bad for his relationship with his child if he denies it.
The most important people here are the children.
If your boyfriend is not in work till 4 then you should be able to find some work in the mornings when he can mind your baby.

Xterminator

HI OP

perhaps you can get a parttime job?

X

infogiver

OP
Don't forget, if your not moving in with your BF you can apply for OPFP.

njs030

infogiver wrote: »

OP
Don't forget, if your not moving in with your BF you can apply for OPFP.

She will also need to claim child support from him for the child if she does that.

infogiver

notjustsweet wrote: »

She will also need to claim child support from him for the child if she does that.

That's right she will. Might be best for all parties at this stage if the OP and her BF delay moving in together for a while im sure we're all agreed.

pilly

If your boyfriend works 4pm to 2.30am could you not work in the mornings?

neonsofa

Jess 1998 wrote: »

No they came to an agreement when they spilt. I know he's not on the eldest child's birth certificate and she wants to keep it out of court due to some problems she's gotten into a while ago. Im only 18 and had to give up going to college because I simply can't afford to do both. My boyfriend works 4pm to 2.30am so its not an option getting another job especially where we live.

You had to give up college cause you couldn't afford to do both of what?
Who was supporting you through college up til this point? Are you in the family home?
You could get a job in the mornings?

boardsuser1

I was paying weekly maintenance of 50 euro for my first child, court ordered.

When baby's 2 & 3 came along with my current partner I got it down to 20 euro.

I now have a 4th and haven't sought a reduction as yet.

Curlysue76

KC161 wrote: »

I was paying weekly maintenance of 50 euro for my first child, court ordered.

When baby's 2 & 3 came along with my current partner I got it down to 20 euro.

I now have a 4th and haven't sought a reduction as yet.

Maybe you should stop having kids if you can't afford to support them. €20 a week is a splash in the ocean of what it costs to raise a child.

boardsuser1

Curlysue76 wrote: »

Maybe you should stop having kids if you can't afford to support them. €20 a week is a splash in the ocean of what it costs to raise a child.

My earnings from my job are so low against daily expenses/cost of living this is what the court deemed appropriate, not me.

She wanted more, the judge said less.

I ain't your average joe soap having kids for welfare.

Maybe i'd get more respect if I didn't bother working

boardsuser1

notjustsweet wrote: »

She will also need to claim child support from him for the child if she does that.

Yes this is true

njs030

KC161 wrote: »

My earnings from my job are so low against daily expenses/cost of living this is what the court deemed appropriate, not me.

She wanted more, the judge said less.

I ain't your average joe soap having kids for welfare.

Maybe i'd get more respect if I didn't bother working

I think the point was that it's unfair on your first child that their standard of living is reduced through no fault of their own.

boardsuser1

notjustsweet wrote: »

I think the point was that it's unfair on your first child that their standard of living is reduced through no fault of their own.

I don't dispute that.

It was the judiciary of this country who decided how much was best per week.

boardsuser1

Imagine paying 7.50 a week



http://www.irishtimes.com/news/crime-and-law/courts/father-narrowly-avoids-jail-over-failure-to-pay-7-50-per-week-maintenance-1.1853018

njs030

KC161 wrote: »

I don't dispute that.

It was the judiciary of this country who decided how much was best per week.

You could choose to pay more for the sake of your child.

neonsofa

KC161 wrote: »

I don't dispute that.

It was the judiciary of this country who decided how much was best per week.

In fairness there is nothing stopping you paying more if you consider it too low.

Edit: Just saw above post now.

boardsuser1

notjustsweet wrote: »

You could choose to pay more for the sake of your child.

The mother has an obsession with money in general.

Only for she can't hold a single conversation with me that doesn't involve money i'd probably sacrifice the extra few bob.

I spend money on the child when she's with me outside what I had over every week, not much but better than nothing.

She wanted 100 a week off me with 4 kids.

MFlack2012

KC161 wrote: »

The mother has an obsession with money in general.

Only for she can't hold a single conversation with me that doesn't involve money i'd probably sacrifice the extra few bob.

I spend money on the child when she's with me outside what I had over every week, not much but better than nothing.

She wanted 100 a week off me with 4 kids.

€25 per week per child

boardsuser1

MFlack2012 wrote: »

€25 per week per child

I spend that at least if not more per child.

MFlack2012

KC161 wrote: »

I spend that at least if not more per child.

I spend about €200 if not more per child, per week €25 per week buys me two packs of nappies (When on sale) and a pack of wipes if I'm lucky.

njs030

KC161 wrote: »

The mother has an obsession with money in general.

Only for she can't hold a single conversation with me that doesn't involve money i'd probably sacrifice the extra few bob.

I spend money on the child when she's with me outside what I had over every week, not much but better than nothing.

She wanted 100 a week off me with 4 kids.

This is what I was saying to the op, it's not about the mother it's about the child.
Who cares what she is obsessed with? Perhaps her obsession with money is because she's trying to bring up your child and pay rent, bills, clothes and so on.
You're punishing YOUR OWN child by only giving the minimum you can.

I bet the 3 you have with your current partner get more than €20 a week.

It's shocking the amount of people who can't see the difference between punishing the mother and the child.

boardsuser1

notjustsweet wrote: »

This is what I was saying to the op, it's not about the mother it's about the child.
Who cares what she is obsessed with? Perhaps her obsession with money is because she's trying to bring up your child and pay rent, bills, clothes and so on.
You're punishing YOUR OWN child by only giving the minimum you can.

I bet the 3 you have with your current partner get more than €20 a week.

It's shocking the amount of people who can't see the difference between punishing the mother and the child.

I think the OP has vanished into thin air after reading the comments so far.

In relation to my other 3, that is the national anthem my ex plays every week.

boardsuser1

MFlack2012 wrote: »

I spend about €200 if not more per child, per week €25 per week buys me two packs of nappies (When on sale) and a pack of wipes if I'm lucky.

What you spend is nearly my weeks wages.

MFlack2012

KC161 wrote: »

What you spend is nearly my weeks wages.

Mine too :eek: All other mother's and father's too, I'm sure.

Peintre Celebre

KC161 wrote: »

What you spend is nearly my weeks wages.

Then stop having kids.

mp22

Closed