Need to escape !

Thomas Pink

Married for almost 20 years........bored, depressed , frustrated. Can't take anymore...

Want to leave, but wedding vows haunt me.........

She is a wonderful wife, we are privileged in that we are financially sound ,on the outside we have a wonderful life.

I just can't hack it any longer......... I cannot face another 20 years ....

Any advice?

Passenger

Have you considered Marriage Counseling?

Clampdown

Thomas Pink wrote: »

Married for almost 20 years........bored, depressed , frustrated. Can't take anymore...

Want to leave, but wedding vows haunt me.........

She is a wonderful wife, we are privileged in that we are financially sound ,on the outside we have a wonderful life.

I just can't hack it any longer......... I cannot face another 20 years ....

Any advice?

Be grateful for the blessings you are obviously taking for granted. Did you think you would never get bored of someone after 20 yrs or is that a bit natural?

And what are you going to do with yourself now, try and date, at whatever age you are now and having been away from dating 20 yrs. Good luck!

Work on your marriage and don't do something stupid that will leave you an old lonely man with no one.

I'm bored and depressed and frustrated, too. But then again I'm unemployed, broke, have chronic health issues, and have no friends or relationship.

Don't blame the wife for your mental state if she is a good wife why are you blaming her? Do you just feel like you want to be by yourself for a while maybe?

Thomas Pink

Thank you for your honest reply. I don't blame my wife and I am not looking to start a new relationship. I need a complete change of scenery, yes perhaps to be alone for a period of time would be a welcome option

Thomas Pink

Yes, thank you I have had counselling.

zoobizoo

Bored in general or bored with her?

Depressed or depressed about the scenario?

What was the outcome of the therapy?

tara73

you give very limited information about your situation, i.e. why you feel this way, how the relation with your wife is etc.
so it's very difficult to give advice..

silverharp

Ill assume you have kids and that they are nearly out the door so you must have a reasonable amount of time to yourself now. Is there anything that would give you a passion and never had a chance to, buy a boat, learn to fly? . Do you click your heels in the morning doing whatever work you do? could you shake that side of your life up.

Bambi985

Do you love your wife?

Richard Hillman

Don't just rush into a split. Remember to secure all of your asset's before you tell her you want to leave her.

You need to remain calm and give yourself a deadline to secure your future before you tell her.

redfox123

You don't say why you are feeling this way and why it is got to do with your wife? We all feel this way but you seem to be blaming her, even though you say you're not. We all feel like this, much more than people let on, but you are saying your marriage is the problem.
Is there bad communication? Have you tried 100% over a long period of time to improve things, make it more exciting, and she's just not interested or making an effort?
You're never going to feel like you did at the start again if that's what you miss. You will be bored, you will be frustrated, you will feel that this person does not make you happy. That's life. Theyre not supposed to make you happy! Sorry but that job is for you. She should support you yes, be there for you, have the best intentions, does she not do this? You say she's wonderful. If you need a new lease of life then go immerse yourself in a passion, a hobby, travel, whatever. Just don't look to someone else to fill the void. It's the tragic truth that all our dreams coming true and our happiness are not to be found in a romantic relationship, no matter how much our western culture pushes the idea. They will for a brief while put it off, but ultimately it's up to you.