Am I right to be annoyed?

Rallycrazygirl

My daughter and my cousins daughter are in same class in school. And hang around in same group of girls. My cousins daughters birthday was on Sunday. So my cousin said that they were bringing a group of the friends to a place for couple of hours and afterwards would be going to McDonald's. So my daughter was asked and was delighted.

So other night cousin rings me and says that she had booked the tickets online for everyone else that was going and gave me time and venue details that I could book my daughters ticket online myself. All was going was birthday girl my daughter and two friends. So four children in total.

This had me puzzled they invited my daughter to outing and other children but why was I having to book her ticket myself. There was no mention of my cousin paying for the ticket either. Would like to point out ticket was only costing €5.

So said to husband and he said surely you misunderstood. So said to daughter did friend say anything to her so birthday girl knew all about my daughter having to book own ticket.

So I booked ticket for her and paid for her so she wouldn't miss the day or be upset.

So phoned cousin to say I booked it and said we'd meet them there about 30 minute drive from my house to venue.

We headed off Sunday to the venue myself and daughter, and decided before hand we'd make a day out of it and go shopping after venue and McDonald's.

Get to venue meet up kids did activity so everyone looking forward to McDonald's. So cousin said thanks for coming see ye at school tomorrow, really confused now what about McDonald's. And my daughter starts to get upset as girls in other car are talking about McDonald's. So I say to cousin thought we were going to McDonald's her response change of plan need to get home earlier than she thought. So bid our goodbyes.

Had to get petrol so did that and two of us headed to McDonald's. Went in and who's in front of us only cousin and other children. I didn't bother saying anything said see what she would say. When she spotted us she said oh didn't have to go home as early after all, no was trying to ring you or anything.

She proceeds to order for herself and other children never even asked would my daughter like anything.

We get our order and daughter says can we sit with or beside them I say sure not wanting her to see how annoyed I am. At which point I was fuming. Why ask her to birthday that we then have to pay for her entrance and then she sneaks off to McDonald's.

That's no best part. When we get up to leave cousin says can you bring x child home with you would save me having to do it. And can you collect birthday girl from school Tuesday.
I just said me and my daughter are going shopping so not going home until later. Her response sure x could tag along.

Mad on so many levels here at the minute

Boggy Turf

You don't get to choose family and family can be ass-holes. Chalk it down to a life lesson and move on.

And yes you are right to be annoyed.

Make sure your daughter isn't getting bullied at school.

Big Bag of Chips

Rallycrazygirl wrote: »

Why ask her to birthday that we then have to pay for her entrance and then she sneaks off to McDonald's.

That's what you should be asking her. People will walk on you and take advantage of you if you let them... You let her, so she does it.

Ande1975

Very confusing post and difficult to read OP....

Based on what you've wrote and not knowing what your relationship with your cousin is like and how old the children are, would you not pick up the phone and talk to your cousin? I'd get over paying for the ticket etc but deliberately excluding your daughter from a trip to McDonald's is the issue to take up with your cousin. That was a sh*tty thing to do.

GingerLily

There's a lot of detail here, after your thread last week maybe do you think you need to have another outlet to vent about frustrating issues rather then turning to Personal Issues?

At the end of the day you didn't have to spend very much to see how cheap your cousin is, now you know hopefully you won't let yourself get burnt by her again!

Big Bag of Chips

By the way, it's now Wednesday. This happened on Sunday. Did you collect the child yesterday? If it's still bothering you to the point where you are "mad on so many levels" today then your only option is to actually bring it up with your cousin. And to say no to her when she asks you for something.

I don't even know if you're looking for advice or just having a moan.

njs030

Op you post a lot of these type of threads usually in groups.
There's not really any advice to be given either, it's quite a black and white issue that you seem to want to vent over.
Maybe the rant and rave forum might suit you?

The only advice I could really give is to consider seeing someone about managing your social expectations and how to avoid these situations cropping up over and over, also perhaps learning yoga or some other way to relax and learning not let other people bother you so much.

LushiousLips

notjustsweet wrote: »

Op you post a lot of these type of threads usually in groups.
There's not really any advice to be given either, it's quite a black and white issue that you seem to want to vent over.
Maybe the rant and rave forum might suit you?

The only advice I could really give is to consider seeing someone about managing your social expectations and how to avoid these situations cropping up over and over, also perhaps learning yoga or some other way to relax and learning not let other people bother you so much.

Please point me in direction of this rant and rave forum ;)

Rubberchikken

your cousin will walk over you until you make it stop.
she didn't treat your child very well. to invite her to a party at a venue and not pay the 5euro is stingy tbh. then to cut the child out of going to McD after she knowing that the others were going is cruel she's only young.
is she in school with these girls? have you checked to see if she's being bullied in any way by any of them. your cousin is setting a very bad example to her child and i'd be curious how this girl treats your child or others for that matter.

you're really nothing to lose staying away from this cousin. her company isn't benefitting you in any way. and her way of treating you and your child is having a negative effect on you. think what it's going to do to your child if your 'friendship' continues.

Rallycrazygirl

Thanks for replies. I didnt collect her daughter as my daughter had athetics after school. I met cousin at school.today and asked her out straight what went on over birthday.
She said it never occurred to.her to pay for my daughters entrance or mcdonalds. Seems as there related. She has apologised so hopefully sorted.
To answer we grew up next door to one another and have always gotten along. Eventhough shes 8 years older than me.
I
Just to add I had really bad experience will friends from school days last year so twice as hard for me to trust people or over analysis peoples motives.

GingerLily

OP, what's the issue? You had already talked to your cousin before posting?

Big Bag of Chips

Rallycrazygirl wrote: »

She said it never occurred to.her to pay for my daughters entrance or mcdonalds.

Well you know that's a lie. She sees you as a doormat. She lied to your face. 3 times now. And each time you've just accepted it (to her face) yet went off still mad about it. She invited 3 girls to a party and paid for 2? There's no way "it never occurred to her". Half arsed, pushed for apology and you're sweet for another while!

Rallycrazygirl

GingerLily wrote: »

OP, what's the issue? You had already talked to your cousin before posting?

I spoke to her today when I was collecting my daughter from school.

Rallycrazygirl

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

Well you know that's a lie. She sees you as a doormat. She lied to your face. 3 times now. And each time you've just accepted it (to her face) yet went off still mad about it. She invited 3 girls to a party and paid for 2? There's no way "it never occurred to her". Half arsed, pushed for apology and you're sweet for another while!

Thanks for reply big bag of chips. I do feel like doormat but trying not to think that way. Im trying to trust people after what happened last year.
I would never expect a parent related or not to pay for there child coming to mines birthday.
When my childten have parties I always get the there parents tea or coffee and cake at venues. No matter how many parent's are there.

Merkin

Closed for review.