The all new best thread ever

Mr. FoggPatches

Reserved for non topic specific stories that you would like to share.

Inspired by Oxfordcolours

Re: banging mothers

OxfordColours wrote: »

They have indeed. I'll keep that yarn for a better thread though

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

I saw a dead badger today.

Mr. FoggPatches

Zaire Dirty Sinkhole wrote: »

I saw a dead badger today.

How do you know it was dead? He may have been hibernating.

maudgonner

Mr. FoggPatches wrote: »

How do you know it was dead? He may have been hibernating.

May have been playing possum, the sneaky divil.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

Mr. FoggPatches wrote: »

How do you know it was dead? He may have been hibernating.

maudgonner wrote: »

May have been playing possum, the sneaky divil.

Ok, the saga needs detail.

It was definitely an ex badger, it was no more, it had snuffed it. It was too flat to be resting or pining for the fjords.

knucklehead6

I bought new boots














Did I do it right?

RiderOnTheStorm

I went to the pet shop today. Didn't buy any fish.

Four Phucs Ache

Earlier in work today I boiled the kettle, opened the press, took out a cup, sugar, made the tea, put the sugar back in the press and left the kitchen.

About 20 mins later one of my colleagues asked who put the f**kin kettle in the press.

I was the last one in there so had a bit of a perplexed worried giggle to myself and kept quiet !

Fuzzytrooper

Got taken out when cycling by either a ginger cat or a fox.

The_Valeyard

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Compared to beavers, groundhogs/woodchucks are not adept at moving timber, although some will chew wood.

Billy86

I like turtles.

SEPT 23 1989

I suggested jack and the beanstalk he wanted goldilocks anything to get him to sleep

sjb25

The best thread needs the greatest and best song in the world

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_lK4cX5xGiQ

Or just a tribute

How come rural town have odd ball characters, such as the middle aged skinhead I saw, or a 1970s die hard still wearing the wranglers along with long hair and sideburns, you never seem to see those sort of characters in Dublin or at least I don't fair play in some ways the world has moved on but they have stayed the same.

The_Valeyard

sjb25 wrote: »

The best thread needs the greatest and best song in the world

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_lK4cX5xGiQ

Or just a tribute

You should start a new thread. 'The Real Best Thread'

Elemonator

I took a satisfying big poo.

DanMurphy

I saw a Llama last summer.
It was grazing in a field in County Clare!

Advbrd

A camel spat at me.

Mr. FoggPatches

I met a nice south African last night thus disproving the spitting image song.

misstearheus

I have a Headache and I need to puke and somebody down the road is cutting down stuff with aplomb making my aforementionned Headache worse. Have a feeling he'll be at it all evening. Do I get a Prize?

What do ya call that yoke again that cuts down trees and wood and stuff? I can't think of the name of it.

s4uv3

Michael Healy Rae dialled a wrong number, got my voicemail, and left a lovely message about how he was calling "to chat about the housing issues I'd been having".
Made my day

s4uv3

misstearheus wrote: »

I have a Headache and I need to puke and somebody down the road is cutting down stuff with aplomb making my aforementionned Headache worse. Have a feeling he'll be at it all evening. Do I get a Prize?

What do ya call that yoke again that cuts down trees and wood and stuff? I can't think of the name of it.

Chainsaw?
My neighbour hopped one off his leg the other day. Not pleasant.

SEPT 23 1989

misstearheus wrote: »

I have a Headache and I need to puke and somebody down the road is cutting down stuff with aplomb making my aforementionned Headache worse. Have a feeling he'll be at it all evening. Do I get a Prize?

What do ya call that yoke again that cuts down trees and wood and stuff? I can't think of the name of it.

You find any answers in the best thread ever

byte

misstearheus wrote: »

I have a Headache and I need to puke and somebody down the road is cutting down stuff with aplomb making my aforementionned Headache worse. Have a feeling he'll be at it all evening. Do I get a Prize?

What do ya call that yoke again that cuts down trees and wood and stuff? I can't think of the name of it.

Chainsaw or hatchet/axe?

Rubberlegs

misstearheus wrote: »

I have a Headache and I need to puke and somebody down the road is cutting down stuff with aplomb making my aforementionned Headache worse. Have a feeling he'll be at it all evening. Do I get a Prize?

What do ya call that yoke again that cuts down trees and wood and stuff? I can't think of the name of it.

For a moment there I wondered what an aplomb was. I'm tired and not the sharpest tool in the box today

somefeen

s4uv3 wrote: »

Michael Healy Rae dialled a wrong number, got my voicemail, and left a lovely message about how he was calling "to chat about the housing issues I'd been having".
Made my day

Please elaborate or post a recording because this sounds absolutely hilarious

s4uv3

somefeen wrote: »

Please elaborate or post a recording because this sounds absolutely hilarious

It was too serious to be a prank call, I genuinely think he just dialled the wrong number. Nothing scandalous in it, just "Hello, Michael Healy Rae here, I'm calling with regards your housing issues that we spoke about, I'll try your other number now. Speak to you soon"

Hector Bellend

I went to my local last night for a few scoops but wasnt really in the mood of going.

I ended banging a 40 yr old aussie who was having her birthday bash.

I'm so glad I went for a few pints last night.

Mr. FoggPatches

misstearheus wrote: »

I have a Headache and I need to puke and somebody down the road is cutting down stuff with aplomb making my aforementionned Headache worse. Have a feeling he'll be at it all evening. Do I get a Prize?

What do ya call that yoke again that cuts down trees and wood and stuff? I can't think of the name of it.

A neighbour.

misstearheus

Chainsaw yeah that's the word I wanted. 73Cat my brain is not working a lot lately so I know what that's like but that gave me a right giggle.

There's a new boy on POF and he looks nice too but interestingly he has stated he doesn't want kids. Most usually just tend to say they do.

I'm going to start living on this Thread now amn't I. It could be a bad idea.


But AH has no Chat Thread. Threads usually start great and then turn into chat and are dis-continued.

I wonder should I put in a request for an AH Chat-Thread. It's about the only place that doesn't have a Chat Thread I'd say.

aaronjumper

An Owl hissed at me once. Didn't know they did that.

Mr. FoggPatches

aaronjumper wrote: »

An Owl hissed at me once. Didn't know they did that.

Were you wearing a short skirt and was it an Italian owl?
Cos they love their hissing, d'italians

DanMurphy

I don't know what a soft Brexit is...

Senna

DanMurphy wrote: »

I don't know what a soft Brexit is...

Just take it out if the hot water 30 seconds earlier.

Capt'n Midnight

Mr. FoggPatches wrote: »

I met a nice south African last night thus disproving the spitting image song.

Wasn't Breyten Breytenbach was it ?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aeDk6ZeGNnU

goto 2:05

Graces7

s4uv3 wrote: »

Michael Healy Rae dialled a wrong number, got my voicemail, and left a lovely message about how he was calling "to chat about the housing issues I'd been having".
Made my day

I escaped from Healy Rae territory a week ago and here he is again! :eek: