When can I know if I have a boyfriend?

LegacyUser

Hi all,just a quick question.

So I've been seeing this boy for a few months now and things are good. We get along well, and spend quite a bit of time together when we can. We have regular sex, and we aren't seeing other people anymore. It's just us exclusively. We both like each other, he treats me well, pays for me when we do stuff, he seems to want to spend time with me.

He does sometimes leave me feeling quite unsecure in the relationship. He doesn't do public affection which I know is just not everyone's cup of tea as he told me he doesn't like it, and we can be a little awkward around each other at times when with our friends as its all quite new. But these things combined can be confusing for me, as it makes me doubt his feelings.

For the most part though, things are great, and I do like him. I just am a bit confused about what we actually are, and I don't real,y know if I could consiðer him my boyfriend. My main question being, can one ever assume they have a boyfriend or would I have to wait for him to ask me to be his girlfriend. Yes I know I should just speak to him but the thought of the conversation kills me as I'm so scared he will say something I don't want to hear.

HelgaWard

It sounds like you are boyfriend & girlfriend. If he was to say to you at this stage "will you be my girlfriend" I think you'd feel like duh I'm already your girlfriend. Same would apply if you asked him. I'd say don't sweat the small stuff. Lots of people are not comfortable with pdas. If it's all good & intimate in private, give him time and he might get more comfortable in public too. Try not to overthink things, just enjoy & have fun!

GritBiscuit

Singleornot17 wrote: »

We have regular sex, and we aren't seeing other people anymore. It's just us exclusively.

That would be the definition of a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship in a nutshell for me OP...

If you like him and things are good then just go with the flow. Most relationships have that kind of are we, aren't we awkward bit for a while until being together becomes your respective norms.

Best of luck!

daithi7

You'll know he's your boyfriend when you are giving out about him to your friends.....;)

That's probably the best acid test tbh!!

whiskeyman

Your post seems odd OP.
How old are you?
You mentioned you've been going out a couple of months, have been spending lots of time, sex etc... but still act awkward with friends as it's 'new'?
And as to you feeling insecure?
He may never say you're his girlfriend tbh.
Had he said he likes you or even loves you?

LegacyUser

We are both 21.

As regards to th friends, we are both in the same group of friends so us being an item in that is still new and we sometimes don't know how to act around them.

Pyr0

Singleornot17 wrote: »

We are both 21.

As regards to th friends, we are both in the same group of friends so us being an item in that is still new and we sometimes don't know how to act around them.

Act like you normally would if you were with them by yourself, there's no need to "act like a couple" when around other people, hold hands if you want to, kiss them if you want to, hug them if you want to but don't feel like you have to do any of these things to show that you're together.

LegacyUser

Also yes he has told me he likes me

njs030

I say the same thing on these threads like a broken record....if you're big enough for a relationship you're big enough to open your mouth and talk to him about it.

You really really shouldn't be nervous about telling someone you're intimate with what you want from them and making sure you're on the same page. How will you deal with important conversations if you can't deal with this one....

Ask him, don't ask internet strangers. Good luck

Edit-i would think you probably are already there though!!

LegacyUser

Thanks everyone for the reassurance. I guess it is that awkward stage where we don't really know what to say. I hope ye are right, it's just confusing to me I guess when things aren't verbally established and I'm a very anxious person when it comes to this. Plus Neither of us have been in a relationship before so it's new.

farmdogg

OK, feel free to ignore this question, but how certain are you that he is the one for you?

If a handsome, funny guy starts chatting you up, and you start feeling attracted to him, would you be quick to mention you have a boyfriend?

Sometimes, when people ask these kinds of questions, there is this kind of underlying issue.

midlandsmissus

I have felt like that when I was younger , and to be honest those thoughts are so detrimental! You should be thinking 'he is lucky to have me!'.

I would recommend to keep enjoying your life with and without him, and it will fall naturally into place