Online dating question

LegacyUser

So I met a guy online 4 weekss ago- he lives in Scotland. Been chatting everyday and getting on great so we agreed a date for me to come visit- in 3 weeks. Anyway he said he's not going to go on any dates until then and that he's really looking forward to it.
Only thing every time I go on to the dating site he's active- I inly went on to hide my profile and then saw he was on- I've checked a few times at random times in the day and yes he's online anytime he's not at work.
What would u do? Say something? Or just ignore it and see how we get on in person.
Pls need advice as don't want to be a fool.

BetsyEllen

When you say you're going to visit in 3 weeks, do you mean you're flying to Scotland?

Ursus Horribilis

There are all sorts of reasons why he appears to be active on the dating website. He may still be chatting other women/friends on there. Perhaps there's an app on his phone which he's still logged into.

Scotland's a long way to travel from just for a date though, don't you think? I know that relationships that cross the Irish Sea can work out - one of my friends now lives in the UK after meeting her now husband on a night out in Dublin. But really, are you sure it's wise to be getting involved with someone who lives abroad? Can you afford to travel to Scotland on a regular basis if ye start seeing each other? Are you willing to move if it boils down to it? You could be jumping the gun greatly on this of course. Clicking online with someone does not guarantee anything.

Rachiee

If he has an android phone and always on data it will always look like he's online, sure he could be chatting to other people but it could also be that. I dont think its worth mentioning either way he might be lying about not dating or he might not be you dont know for sure see how the date goes.

BetsyEllen

I don't think you should fly to Scotland. It's absolute madness for a first date!
Especially someone you are having doubts about already.
It's a weird situation OP, don't go.
If he wants to see you so badly then let him fly to Ireland. Then you can meet him somewhere you know to be safe.

You say you don't want to be a fool but you are putting yourself in a very foolish position and not acting very responsibly.
How old are you?

Ursus Horribilis

Where are you planning to stay? I hope it's not in his place.

Phee_Bee

Over him being online, you should just ignore it, he could be lying, he could be unaware he is still logged on. Better to have a first date and see how you get along and if it goes well then see about continuted online activity as right now he doesn't owe any exclusivity to you.

To echo previous posters, it might not be such a smart idea to travel to Scotland.
Would he not be willing to travel to you instead.
If you do travel to him have you any friends that could go with you, so at least you won't be alone over there?

Dial Hard

I wouldn't even ask him to come over here, tbh. Long distance relationships are hard enough when there's a solid base of actually being together beforehand behind them. There's no way I'd consider "dating" someone who doesn't even live in the same country.

Save yourself the stress and the hassle, OP.

LegacyUser

OP here. Really appreciate all the advice.
I'm 30. He did offer to fly over but there wasn't any weekend that suited me so I offered to go over. To be honest I travel a bit by myself- often going away on spontaneous weekends so I don't mind going over at all- I get to explore another city. I would be more comfortable not having to have him relying on me to show him around etc. And yes I'll be staying at a hotel.
It was really just the constant online thing that bothered me, not the going over.
I take ur advice that getting involved in something that is long distance can be a lot of work, I've done it before but I'm also open to the idea that the person for me may not just happen to live in Dublin too.
I guess I just need to look at it as a trip to another city with a date too, and not take it too seriously.

AppleD

Don't obsess about him being online. How he interacts with u is more important. Go for the trip, enjoy the time away and see how the date goes. Simple as.