A date or not?

gsi300024v

Post online dating, I can't figure it out, so since saying no to online dating for a bit. I asked a gal out in college, we liked each other but for some reason never happened. So went on a meetup hike, there was a gal I got on well with so said feck it ask her to meet up off meetup. We did, went to some sights, she's Chinese, went well, at the weekend we went to lovely spots outdoors in Dublin mountain and coffee. Again enjoyed it, but offline dating, are these friendship hangs or dates. She is very affectionate, little touches etc, but never saw her with her friends of that so hard to say. And I'm being extra respectful or slow as she good bit younger and Chinese, so I'm not sure there culture. She is away for a week now and we said we'd meet up when she back and cook for each other, irish for Chinese food cultural exchange, we've text a bit too. I'm open to it being dating or friendship, she's lovely to enjoy the chats and laughs with. Wondering is it ok to just ask, do you see it as friends or dating. I know should see how it goes, but I overthink things and it would make it more relaxed if I know either way. Advice?

Rekop dog

Don't ask, just make a move when you see her next. You can leave her in now doubt that's it's a date without actually saying it by your actions. All this respectful talk is a sure way to the friendzone, you say you're open to dating or friendship but it's obvious which one you'd far prefer. Her touching you is a good sign so you should do the same which is always a good way to build physical connection and escalate things.

Good luck.

Tigger99

Normally I'd agree with the above advice but not for a Chinese girl. The dating culture is very very different. I'd be inclined to ask her.

santana75

Its simple, if you're interested in her sexually then you go for it and you communicate sexual interest via touching, eye contact and what you say. Sounds like you're playing to be safe and not going for it for fear of getting rejected or coming on too strong. Just go for it, chances are you'll win but the longer you wait the more that window of opportunity will close.

silverharp

the fact that you met the way you did is neither here nor there and the fact that she is Chinese shouldn't matter that much, I'm sure she is well aware of general dating culture here. The main thing is to make up your mind and don't be wishy washy about it, it sounds like you are attracted to her so go for it and with the txting etc it looks positive. Also if you did fancy her and nothing happened you'd be back on here in a few months wondering what to do.

Maybe before doing the dinners thing meet her once more in town and see how it goes, it might be as simple as holding her hand as you walk down Grafton St. and you can judge the reaction from that and take it from there.
If you ask her "is this a date?" she might say no because you have put her on the spot.

Good luck!

GingerLily

If she does think you're just friends I think she may be a little frightened if you wait until your having a private dinner to show her you want a physical relationship.

Hopefully it works out for you OP, it sounds like you get on very well.

gsi300024v

Thanks all, I'll suggest maybe public date 1st again before dinner. Maybe a walk somewhere pretty 1st, she and I love the outdoors, so nature maybe and then dinner later that day or another day. Thanks y'all, fortune does favour the brave, I should just be brave and respectful.