Obese

Cc17

Hello I need some help and advice. So I've always been kind of big' but with every pregnancy I gained more even after the babies I gained lots mainly due to being a stay at home mom and I do be so bored so I eat .. a lot mainly at night. It's getting out of control and I honestly don't even know how my partner still finds me attractive or wants to be intimate. I never want to and that's causing issues I just feel like a beast. I have a serious food addiction and that's not an excuse it's true. I'm 17 and a half stone and I just don't know how I let it get this far and I don't know what to do. I'm only in my twenties and I should be out enjoying my life and wearing all the cool clothes in the shops but I can't. I'm disgusted with myself and I'm eating more and more with depression and self hatred. I would love to lose 7 stone or would love to be a size 10 but it's miles away. What I'm looking for is advice and help on what to do becuse this is not healthy and I want to play with my kids without getting out of breath and I don't want them embarrassed by me. I try dieting but I give up too easy. Any help I would appreciate,thank you.

bp

You should speak to your GP first of all. Then make small goals - eg I will walk to the shop instead of driving. Then make it a longer walk the following week etc.

Diet will also be a big part so reduce the amount of junk being bought each week and increase fruit and veg. I don't know what dinners are like but if it's frozen pizza swap for making your own. Ready made meals with fresh home made ones. Make a weekly dinner plan and only buy the groceries you need.

You need Take it one step at a time and ask your family to help through support. If you don't like your size get a dvd to do at home, a easy one and work up from there as if it's too hard you won't keep it up.

Ursus Horribilis

Have you ever tried joining a slimming club? Something like Slimming World or Weight Watchers? Sometimes having to stand up on a scales every week and getting encouragement and advice from other people can help.

RhubarbCrumble

Ursus Horribilis wrote: »

Have you ever tried joining a slimming club? Something like Slimming World or Weight Watchers? Sometimes having to stand up on a scales every week and getting encouragement and advice from other people can help.

I'll second that. My sister in law has lost almost 9 stone with Slimming World in the last few years. She was just under 20 stone when she joined and is around 11 stone now. She spent years trying everything under the sun, every 'diet', every 'plan', all those juice cleanses, lighter life etc and she says Slimming World is the only thing that's ever worked for her. She even comes to the gym with me now and swimming, something she'd never do before because she said she always felt too embarrassed. She said that the group support is what really helped her, that she always found it too hard to do on her own, and that there were people of all shapes and sizes in Slimming World with her and she never felt judged there.

Best of luck to you OP

Colser

A few people that I work with have had huge success with slimming world also..honestly these are people who you would have thought were always going to be big framed even if they lost weight but they've totally changed body shape and have done it very healthily.

It probably seems like an impossible task but I think that you need to get in the right frame of mind and it sounds like you're ready to go for it OP.

Best of luck and I hope you reach your goals.

looksee

But first go to your gp and tell him/her what you have told us in the first paragraph.

Big Bag of Chips

You can't do this on your own, OP. It's difficult with support. It's next to impossible alone. Have you looked into overeaters anonymous? There might be one in your area, or close enough to drive to. You have an addiction which is no different to alcohol, drugs, gambling etc. But as is often said about a food addiction, if you're addicted to alcohol, or drugs etc you can go cold turkey. You can make yourself stop. You can't stop eating! It's something you have to do everyday, so cold turkey isn't an option.

Speak to your GP. Look into slimming world, I also have friends who swear by it. Look into overeaters anonymous. It's not impossible. It can be done. But you do need help.

lashofeye

Hi there ! It's great that you want to loose weight and you can do it ! You need to get that in your head first ! Have s goal that you want to aim for say 1/2 stone etc!
You can do workouts at home ? Have u access to the internet ? Lots of workouts on YouTube ! Also diet needs to be changed too cut down on carbs like bread and pasta and increase your protein like eggs chicken and turkey ! Small changes at first until it becomes routine ! You can do this and we here to help

lashofeye

Also he your partner on board he will need to be your support and not a week link ! My sister lost 8 stone following a plan like I have suggested above !

Airyfairy12

Diets dont work. You said that you mostly eat at night, stop buying so much food so its not there for you when you get your cravings, dont buy unhealthy foods like crisps or chocolate and try to buy more fruit, veg and healthy foods, dont buy anything processed. You cant over eat if the foods not in the press and when you do get a craving you might eat something healthy and low in fat instead.

amtc

Why don't you follow one of the operation transformation leaders? I'm not mad on the programme but seems to work for people.

My mam goes to weight watchers and has lost a stone, my cousin lost five stone in slimming world. Mam could've lost more but she treats it as a social outing!

I'm just on 9 stone and 5ft 6 so I don't need to lose weight but I realised am completely unfit. I work with a girl who also owns a weight training gym...went once and loved it. Too far away for me to go every week but she does it every night on Skype so I do it for half an hour. It's very good as the pressure to be there makes you tune in.

LynnGrace

As has been suggested, OP, start with your GP. If it is food addiction, they should be able to help / to provide referrals to appropriate sources of advice or support.

BetsyEllen

I second the advice for Slimming World. You need the support.

Plus I also think you need to look at the 'I get so bored that I eat' part of your statement.

Why are you so bored?
I know you're at home with kids but surely you can get outside with them, go for walks etc?
You need to work on your boredom. There's lots you can be doing, yes I know having kids makes things difficult but it's not impossible.

If you know you are going to be eating a lot of food, make sure your fridge/presses are only filled with good stuff - veg, eggs, fish, brown rice etc.
So if you really feel the need to eat, make an omelette or something instead of just grabbing something unhealthy out of the press. If it's not there, you can't eat it.
Plus cooking proper meals takes more time than grabbing a snack so preparing a healthy meal may relieve some of your boredom.

Kids learn their eating habits from their parents so also try to keep in mind that being around healthy food and learning how to cook with you will have a positive impact on your children growing up.

Walter H Price

When i hit a 21 stone and kinda felt my weight was running away from me a bit after a knee injury meant i had to stop playing sports or doing any real meaningful exercise and i was traveling allot with work. I went to my GP and she recommended the motivation weight loss programme , they have clinics all over the place. but they were great its all 1 on 1 very tailored to your lifestyle and stuff i lost 8 stone in 10 months.

Since then i put back up 2 and half stone back over 4 years since,1 stone i wanted to put on because i thought i was actually a bit too slim for my frame getting cloths to fit properly was a pain and 1 and a half doing a masters last year because i didn't have much time to cook and i was grabbing snacks and stuff on the go between work and classes 3 nights a week, and have been going to slimming world for the last few months to shift that before my wedding in November, i have never felt like my weight was running away from me again since doing motivation , if you feel you have a lot to loose and want to change your whole attitude to food id give it a go. slimming world is great too but its more like weight watcher in that its a group very little 1 on 1 and tailoring of the plan to you.

But what ever you do OP if you are really serious about loosing the weight don't try and loose it on your own in my experience it never works you'l loose a bit gain it back and make literally no real headway, i've done that before and My OH did it for years before joing slimming world with me and shes down 2 and a bit stone now

SarahMollie

lashofeye wrote: »

Also he your partner on board he will need to be your support and not a week link ! My sister lost 8 stone following a plan like I have suggested above !

This is really key. I know my OH is probably my biggest hindrance when it comes to losing weight. He doesnt mean to be, but he's naturally tall, slim and lean and he just doesnt understand it. He doesnt mean to undermine me, and he eats all the healthy food with me etc, but then the odd time I have to watch him adding things like olive oil (because it would be more tasty) to cooking etc or suggesting we drink wine when I'm trying not to. He gets that takeaways etc are not ideal, but for things that we'd have previously enjoyed together, he sometimes struggles when I have to say no.

**Going to Slimming World this week wtih tail between legs**

silverharp

op for sure check out the difference between Low carb and high carb foods, it has a big influence on how your body craves food. Probably best to arrange your kitchen in such a way that you have to cook most things from scratch and don't have foods like bread or cereals lying around that you can impulse eat.

njs030

Before doing anything else I'd suggest going to your doctor and having any health problems like thyroid issues ruled out.
Also how tall are you? Make sure you aren't setting an unrealistic goal. It's very hard to be the same weight you were before children as your body had changed so ask your gp to help you set some realistic goals.

dudara

@amtc - you have been warned previously to refrain from posting your personal stories. Please focus only on providing advice to the OP and do not bring your experiences into play.

This is a final warning.

dudara

ManOfMystery

Cc17 wrote: »

I would love to lose 7 stone or would love to be a size 10 but it's miles away

I think the information given by other posters has been great, but I'd also add - set yourself small targets to start with. There's nothing more overwhelming than to look at the very end goal - whether it's losing 7 stone or climbing Mount Everest - and thinking how far away it is.

So don't look at it as one massive weight shift. Break it into stages and tackle each one individually. Set yourself a target of say, losing 2 stone by 3-4 months time. Then repeat.

SarahMollie

Another thing (something I've been doing myself for motivation this morning) is going on the Slimming World website (or WW or whatever plan you choose) and reading their documented success stories. You'll find examples of people who've lost even more weight than you need to lose and it might help to put it in perspective.

Walter H Price

notjustsweet wrote: »

Before doing anything else I'd suggest going to your doctor and having any health problems like thyroid issues ruled out.
Also how tall are you? Make sure you aren't setting an unrealistic goal. It's very hard to be the same weight you were before children as your body had changed so ask your gp to help you set some realistic goals.

I'd definitely second that OP , your GP knows your medical history and so much of this can impact on weight loss and gain , i hadn't even realized one of the things that caused some of my weight gain was from a steroid inhaler i was on for asthma. Your GP will also be able to tell you what a realistic and healthy target weight is for you .

dar100

Firstly op, you need to see this as a lifestyle change, something to be integrated into your life on an ongoing basis, not just as a crash course. Otherwise, relapsing back into old patterns will happen.

Secondly, you need to become aware of your relationship with food, and work on this, depending on the relationship, counselling my be needed.

Thirdly, start eating a well balanced diet, these fads of detoxing with juce etc are BS and don't work. Start small and set goals. Don't aim to do everything at once, as it is very hard, and failing can impact motivation and belief.

Start some exercise, again start small and work up, taking on to much and failing can effect motivation and belief, making small changes, improves confidence and self efficacy.

Get some social supports, people you can talk to when things get hard.

fussyonion

Hi OP.

I was over 18 stone in 2015 (female, late twenties) and I decided to change my lifestyle because I was sick of being overweight.
I thought about my weight from the moment I woke up to the minute I went to bed.
It consumed me.

I hated clothes shopping because nothing ever fit. I avoided social situations because I'd have nothing to wear and I was too self-conscious and I was fed up of avoiding having my picture taken in key family events.

I was sick of my weight dominating my life so I decided to change.
I joined a gym and changed my eating habits and I have lost almost six and a half stone in that time.

Something has to click in you that you want this. If you aren't committed or you don't 100% want to change, you won't succeed.
I was one of those people who read weight-loss stories in magazines and thought "That'll never be me" and I'd look at gym-goers and think "I'll never be that person"

Now I love the gym and eating better.

You can join SW or WeightWatchers if you want.
I didn't but I won't knock it because for some people they need the support, the weekly weigh-ins and the advice.

I eat well but I still have my wine or chocolate but it is all about moderation.
I used to eat up to 10 bags of crisps a day. They were my downfall.
I stopped buying multipacks and now I only have a bag at the weekend.
I don't miss my daily binges on them at all.

I used to skip breakfast and eat rolls for lunch, snack on crisps and chocolate, drink tons of Coke, eat a takeaway curry for dinner or a big pizza and then at night more crisps and chocolate.

Now I have eggs or porridge for breakfast, a salad or sandwich on low-GI bread for lunch, or soup, and my evening meal is home-made.
It could be bolognese or curry, stir-fry or lean grilled burgers, served with vegetables and a small portion of baby potatoes, rice or pasta.

I drink a lot of water and peppermint tea and I snack on fruit, nuts and Greek yogurt.
I exercise in the gym 4-5 times a week and I genuinely love it.

I've met some lovely people, everyone is encouraging and supportive and I can honestly say losing weight and getting fitter is the best thing I have ever done.

I dropped 10 dress sizes, too, and the amount of compliments I get is amazing.
I feel good about myself and you will too if you make this change.
But you have to want it.

If your weight is making you so unhappy, change it.
You will not regret it, I promise you.

SATSUMA

You are so not alone with this OP! GP first for a medical assessment and slimming world is great. You will be among friends theres no judgment we all eat too much! You can do this one bit at a time. Xx

sashafierce

This post has been deleted.

m'lady

I definitely agree with Sasha and the rest of the posters that suggested slimming world.
I have been at my target weight over a year now, having lost 3 stone and going from a size 16/18 to a 10, (even my size 10's are getting loose!). I have an underactive thyroid which slows down weight loss and I still lost my weight in 8 months. I've never once felt deprived, and still treat myself. Over the Xmas I gained 2lbs the following week it was gone! Join, you won't regret it op.

LegacyUser

I know how you feel. I was eating because I was unhappy and unhappy because I was eating.
Two years ago I joined slimming world and I weighted 20st and 2 lbs.
Like you I found that at night time I was sitting down and eating crisps, choclate ect.

I had done a few diets over the years but I had to say I found slimming world great as I could eat plenty. I could use my syns for a nice sauce for my dinner and some choclate in the evening. I could still go for nights out or a meal.
I lost over 4 stone then. Along with this I started to do some walking. I joined a gym and this helped me tone up also.

I was dealing with a few difficult things over the past few months and I put up some of the weight I lost. I have gone back to slimming world and the gym.

I would say to you rather than say I want to be a size 10 set small goals to start with - ie lose a stone and then decided on what you next goal is. I would look into joining a gym and getting few sessions with a personal trainer. They will show you how to use the equipement and give you a program that suits you fitness level. As you get fitter they will give you harder things to do. The exercise will help tone you as you lose weight and stop you from being flabby.