"Hen party" groups

Ash885

This has probably been talked about before on other threads. I've never really been annoyed by parties coming into gay bars. Someone else's night is none of my business.

But last week sort of took the biscuit. Story is these girls came up and before even saying hello, asked me how to keep them 'safe' from the lesbians around the bar. "We're straight like, don't get us wrong, love the gays but OMG what are we doing here?" (a question I asked myself at the time...) all the while nipping my arse and pulling at my shirt.

Now I hadn't near enough pints to even laugh it off so walked to the bar to my mates. Que a repeat of "OMG we're straight, you all look so fabulous" all the while giggling and whispering. We couldn't actually get away from them and when the bouncer came over they said they were with me and he left?

Maybe I'm just getting too long in the tooth and getting my mid-20s grump on but is there any way of dealing with this? :eek: Eventually they left when one face planted a table of drinks so I guess I've that to be *thankful* for? Not saying it ruined the night but spending an hour entertaining that bs was a bit new!

nkav86

Nothing new there I'm afraid. I'm all for parties like that coming in, but they see it as a novelty and we just want a regular night. They tend to go a bit over the top, and get rowdy, act like they never would in their local.

Ten of Swords

I think you're a bit too forgiving Ash! Maybe I'm just overly narky but I don't have any time for that ѕhite at all. I've seen it plenty of times but am not usually in the center of it, did your mates help you at all?

imme

They sound like stoopid people

I don't particularly get the visit to the gay bar by hen parties.

Off topic, another thing I don't get is straight couple in gay bars, has been discussed in various other threads here before.

nkav86

Ten of Swords wrote:

I think you're a bit too forgiving Ash! Maybe I'm just overly narky but I don't have any time for that Ñ•hite at all. I've seen it plenty of times but am not usually in the center of it, did your mates help you at all?

I'd agree with you there, I wouldn't have the patience to put up with them. Especially when they said they were with OP, I'm a grumpy sort myself.

empacher

I dont think its a problem exclusive to gay bars, they're just a problem wherever they go. Particularly any ones sporting neon clothes.

Ive had to deal with them for 10 years in various venues. Ive had them stick their hands down my pants when i was doing table service. Even had one tear the crotch area open in my pants.

Personally all i see is a bunch of middle aged to old aged women have an existential crisis.

Ten of Swords

imme wrote: »

Off topic, another thing I don't get is straight couple in gay bars, has been discussed in various other threads here before.

I don't really care who goes to a gay bar, gay/straight or anything in between, as long as they don't act like an obnoxious arse while there. These girls could have had plenty of fun without imposing themselves upon Ash's group - and coming out with "protect us from the lesbians", seriously, wtf?

road_high

Yea know the types exactly...think they're so gorgeous that they have to go to a gay bar to get away "from all the fellas in other bars that will be after them" and then think all "the lesbians will be after them..". Usually from a certain socio economic group. The definition of delusion really.

imme

Ten of Swords wrote: »

I don't really care who goes to a gay bar, gay/straight or anything in between, as long as they don't act like an obnoxious arse while there. These girls could have had plenty of fun without imposing themselves upon Ash's group - and coming out with "protect us from the lesbians", seriously, wtf?

Yes they sound like stoopid people as I said.

cgcsb

Have had many run ins with hen parties, mostly of the British persuasion. Have had my bum grabbed etc. One started grinding her parts against my leg and I stepped back from her and she said "oh I suppose you're one of them". They often say things like "you're not gay" and "you've just not met me yet". They're a terrible scourge.

Ash885

Glad I'm not completely out of touch with reality! Was afraid of being overly dramatic here.

Friends all shared my annoyance; one in particular (who actually bore more of the brunt than me) went very quiet afterwards which I think is why its' stuck so much in my mind. Had a few people around us give us a 'throw the eyes up to heaven' kind of look, which probably is what I'd do if I were *them so I can't necessarily give out there either.

I enjoy when my straight friends come out to a gay bar, because they're respectful (it's weird even calling them respectful because its' just taken as a given in my circle). Was just taken completely aback being treated as a novelty relaxing after a day's work. #rants

Annasopra

imme wrote: »

Yes they sound like stoopid people as I said.

homophobic in a gay bar - worse than stupid - bigoted arseholes

Annasopra

Ash885 wrote: »

Glad I'm not completely out of touch with reality! Was afraid of being overly dramatic here.

Friends all shared my annoyance; one in particular (who actually bore more of the brunt than me) went very quiet afterwards which I think is why its' stuck so much in my mind. Had a few people around us give us a 'throw the eyes up to heaven' kind of look, which probably is what I'd do if I were me so I can't necessarily give out there either.

I enjoy when my straight friends come out to a gay bar, because they're respectful (it's weird even calling them respectful because its' just taken as a given in my circle). Was just taken completely aback being treated as a novelty relaxing after a day's work. #rants

Ah no I agree with everything you just said. I have often met straight friends in gay bars and they are respectful. It's very annoying when you have to put up with bigoted disrespectful arseholes.

JupiterKid

Hen parties should be barred from gay bars. End of.

If they're acting disresepctful to the other, regular customer there than they're just not welcome.

baby and crumble

Ah yes, the straight women who are convinced you're coming on to them if you say "hello".

It's like, even if I were single love... no.

nkav86

baby and crumble wrote:

Ah yes, the straight women who are convinced you're coming on to them if you say "hello".

Or the ones that are convinced every gay guy wants to be their new 'bestie', feel sorry for men sometimes!

road_high

nkav86 wrote: »

Or the ones that are convinced every gay guy wants to be their new 'bestie', feel sorry for men sometimes!

And if you don't act in their (in their head) stereotypical fashion, there must be something wrong...

road_high

Ash885 wrote: »

Glad I'm not completely out of touch with reality! Was afraid of being overly dramatic here.

Friends all shared my annoyance; one in particular (who actually bore more of the brunt than me) went very quiet afterwards which I think is why its' stuck so much in my mind. Had a few people around us give us a 'throw the eyes up to heaven' kind of look, which probably is what I'd do if I were *them so I can't necessarily give out there either.

I enjoy when my straight friends come out to a gay bar, because they're respectful (it's weird even calling them respectful because its' just taken as a given in my circle). Was just taken completely aback being treated as a novelty relaxing after a day's work. #rants

I think I would have had to leave...I know why should you, but there's nothing worse than uninvited and unwanted in your face intrusion when out.

Boardz Fiend

imme wrote: »

They sound like stoopid people

I don't particularly get the visit to the gay bar by hen parties.

Off topic, another thing I don't get is straight couple in gay bars, has been discussed in various other threads here before.

Dont straight couples have a right to visit any bar, same as a gay couples have a right to visit any bar? Or is equality only for gays now?

baby and crumble

Boardz Fiend wrote: »

Dont straight couples have a right to visit any bar, same as a gay couples have a right to visit any bar? Or is equality only for gays now?

To be fair, I think most people on the thread have already disagreed with a blanket statement like that. The key is respect. There are problems with couples cruising gay bars purely for sex partners, which is possibly fair enough (although if you ask me it's that same assumption that lesbians will sleep with any woman they can find and will be more than happy to be the third in a threesome...) but often it's to find a female partner to join in a threesome, and often will have undercurrents of homophobia if a guy were to try coming onto the male partner.

It's also an issue if gay bars are treated as a topic of "fascination" for people, like has been described earlier. Like, this may seem edgy and exotic to some straight people, being in a gay bar, but this is our life, and sometimes a gay bar is THE ONLY place a person can be 100% comfortable with themselves, or with showing affection in a public setting.

nkav86

Boardz Fiend wrote:

Dont straight couples have a right to visit any bar, same as a gay couples have a right to visit any bar? Or is equality only for gays now?

Not trying to attack, I just expected this statement to pop up. I think it goes some way to explain why the OP was hesitant to express their annoyance. Also the poster before me has hit the nail on the head, 100% agree.

imme

Boardz Fiend wrote: »

Dont straight couples have a right to visit any bar, same as a gay couples have a right to visit any bar? Or is equality only for gays now?

"equality"??

If its not for them why would they bother going to a gay bar, like the OP said these Hen Party women were in a gay bar but didn't want the gays to be there effectively.

I think my post was based on stupid non gay people going to gay bars.

Also it can be fierce confusing to simple old me when non gay men show up in a gay bar, trying to see if they're interested only to be disappointed.

JupiterKid

Gay bars are not a zoo for ignorant straight people to visit and gawk at their leisure, amusement and often disgust. Such people are completely unwelcome and I'd include quite a lot of hen party groups in that category.

L1011

JupiterKid wrote: »

Gay bars are not a zoo for ignorant straight people to visit and gawk at their leisure, amusement and often disgust. Such people are completely unwelcome and I'd include quite a lot of hen party groups in that category.

Quite a lot? That's overly generous.

Anyone who wants to go in can go in. Anyone who starts being an annoying awkward mess can get kicked out. That's all hen parties.