Trying to make sense of breakup

LegacyUser

I've just broken up with my gf of a few months. We live on the same estate. Neither of us is young but I have much more life experience than her.

We had some similar principles but a totally different type of knowledge. *Please don't attack me* but she wasn't intelligent in many ways which I found annoying then I'd feel guilty for feeling annoyed.

I'd always look forward to seeing her but then would often feel bored / uncomfortable /irritated in her company then feel guilty again and that I should be grateful to have a gf rather than being alone.

I made suggestions for ways for us to develop common interests but they were sometimes taken as a slight.

She would also say "the wrong thing" frequently which was hurtful but it wasn't intentional rather not thinking first.

I didn't have anything in common with her friends and her family weren't that friendly either.

Despite this I miss her and she's so upset and I hate the thought this failed relationship is another disappointment for her.

I'd appreciate any constructive comments / insights

Froshtbit

Flag100 wrote: »

I should be grateful to have a gf rather than being alone.

What? A girlfriend? Like any girlfriend? Come on, you cant hink that's a healthy thing to think.

kylith

It doesn't sound like ye were well matched to start with. You deserve someone who doesn't irritate you and, to be blunt, she doesn't deserve someone who thinks so little of her.

'Any' girlfriend is NOT better than no girlfriend. This breakup is a blessing for both of you. Now you have the time to work on your interests and hopefully meet someone that way who will be better matched with you.

Eimee90

I agree with the above posters. I dont think you're a bad guy but the way you talk about your ex gf is awful to be honest.

One thing to be sure off is this breakup was the right thing to do. I'd hate to be with someone who thinks so little of me.

Big Bag of Chips

Flag100 wrote: »

I hate the thought this failed relationship is another disappointment for her.

She'll survive! She might even get into another relationship before you do! Just because she wasn't well matched to you, doesn't mean there's not someone else she will match better with

Breaking up with someone is always difficult. But you knew this relationship wasn't ever going to work. You shouldn't be grateful to have a gf! Especially one that you don't particularly like, who you have nothing in common with and who you are frequently embarrassed by. It's ok to be different to people. Not everyone is going to be on the same level and it is more important to be with someone compatible, than to just be with someone. At least if you are single and pursuing your own interests you have the chance to meet like minded people. If you are staying in a relationship that you're not happy in just for the sake of being in a relationship then you are denying yourself, and her, the chance to meet someone more suitable.

Break ups are difficult. But you will both get over it. Don't go back to her just out of habit or because you miss having a gf. If you do, you will just have to put her through the breakup all over again when you get tired of the relationship again.

leggo

It sounds like you want to be in a relationship, but made a good call in finishing with someone you weren't well suited to. You're fine OP, there's no problem here, you just have to get through the temporary emotions this brings up but you can remove doubt from your mind here. You made the right call and both of you will be better for it.