Feeling a bit lost

LegacyUser

As the title says, I'm feeling a bit lost at the moment. I'm 27 and have a part time job doing administration, I am a single mother of a 3 year old and I'm still living at home.

I have a degree in music technology but I really wanted to do music (actual music). I had been planning on doing science up until Christmas of 6th year and I changed my mind and went for music. So I love both areas. I got a job in an accounting firm after my degree and have been there since. I recently changed jobs and the money is better and all that, but recently I'm kind of thinking.. is this all there is?

I want to move out but with the house prices now, I feel ill never get out. I don't drive as well so I feel restricted in where I could go. Learning to drive is a new years resolution.

I want to get back into things I love but I feel I can't even remember what they are. I do love music and used to play a lot but don't have much motivation either.

I am very impatient in that I want things now.. want my own place now, want to be thinner/fitter now, want a relationship now.. but then thinking about all that scares me as well?

I know I should be grateful for the things I have - supportive family, a daughter who loves me, great friends and a good job. I feel like this is a normal thing that a lot of people go through at this age, but my mind is telling me otherwise.. that I shouldn't be feeling this way.

Thanks in advance.

LuckyLoki

I think there’s not too many responses to this one, because seriously your life seems pretty good.

Yes, it could be better, but you’re starting from a really good place.

You mention your mind confusing you, and how thinking about your future scares you and how impatient you are for all the good things to show up, which reminds me of the saying that when you are living in the past, you are depressed, and when you are living in the future you are anxious, but only when you are living in the present are you at peace.

So basically I am detecting a little bit of an anxious nature in your post. Only a little. A tiny anxious streak if you will!

But anxiety and comparison and worry suck the joy out of the good things in life. Which I think is what is happening to you. Again, you also seems pretty balanced and know you have a lot to be grateful for which is great.

If I were you, (and I think I have been you, at different stages of my life,) I would do a course in meditation or mindfulness, just to get more control over my mind. Then try and make that a daily practice.

You mention music a lot, to the point where trying to get by without it in your life is obviously hurting you. I’m not sure which area of music interests you, but denying your creativity is a great way to feel lost. In my area, rural Ireland, there are three open mic nights within driving distance where any form of creative expression is welcomed. That might not suit you at all, but look into what you can do around your area. Volunteer Ireland has lots of spots for anyone willing to bring music skills to teenagers etc. Again, it may not be ideal, but it’s a start.

Best of luck. Keep feeling grateful for all the good things you have and just try to add in a few more things that feed your soul.