Female, 20s, never had an orgasm

LegacyUser

As the title says, I'm a female in my (late) 20s and I've never had an orgasm in my life.

I've had 4 different sexual partners, and I've masturbated a lot too (including with toys). Still nothing.

I used to think this must mean I was asexual, but I don't think that's the case because I DO get very turned on and want to have sex/touch myself. Arousal is not a problem.

I don't get much from sexual intercourse, I just do it as a way to express love to my partners and I enjoy how much THEY enjoy it, but personally it doesn't do a great deal for me. I do like the sensations of oral and fingering but I still just can't bring myself to climax - I'm enjoying it, then I'm REALLY enjoying it, then... I just want them to stop, I'm done. But there's definitely no orgasm there

It's kind of the same when I'm masturbating, I'm really really enjoying it but then I just... lose it somehow. Like as if I get bored, and then I'm not turned on anymore.

I've never told ANYBODY this, ever. Not even my sex partners - I've always faked it, which I know I shouldn't, but I just feel really ashamed and broken.

I don't think I'm sexually repressed - I've never been sexually abused, I didn't have a strong Catholic upbringing, nothing like that.

It's gotten to the point where it's making me really quite depressed. Every year for about a decade, my new year's resolution has been to have an orgasm - and it's just not happening. I have no idea what to do.

I don't have a partner at the moment, otherwise I would consider opening up about it.

I definitely won't go to my GP (he's nice but.... no). I dunno if I would feel comfortable talking to a "regular" counsellor about this. I would consider going to a specialised sex therapist but I have no idea where to go.

I just feel like I'm never, ever gonna be able to have a satisfying relationship unless I get this sorted.

If anyone has any advice it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Yellow pack crisps

Could it be you're blocking something out right before you're about to orgasm then lose it and then continue on until it becomes boring? It does sound psychological and that doesn't mean it has to be something obvious for that to happen.

9or10

Hi OP

Could I recommend a book https://www.amazon.co.uk/Becoming-Orgasmic-sexual-personal-programme-ebook/dp/B004GKMI50/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&coliid=IYHHSCQWIX1LJ&colid=1ZK19I0CYXVXL&qid=&sr=

We had it recommended by a GP. Have a look at the free sample.


Does your GP not have a well woman clinic at certain times of the week?


Sorry OP that's all I got but I do wish you all the best.

LegacyUser

Very similar situation here, it's very upsetting.

Can I ask do you struggle to sleep at times too? I really struggle to switch off at bedtime to go asleep no matter how tired I am and I wonder are the 2 things linked? Relaxing the mind enough to just let go.

adomack1965

try some counselling first, there is a very good sex therapist called barbara kinsella based in bray

openup

I'm the exact same. I've given up really. I enjoy sex, I enjoy masturbation. There's not much point in stressing about it. I feel like it might happen sometime but I don't think there is anything to be done about it. I used to obsess over it. I've never been to the GP but I've been to see a counsellor, considered a clitoral hood piercing, I even attended an "orgasmic meditation" seminar. I used to get so upset about it and I was so embarrassed but now I don't really cre and I don't think it's that unusual. 
I don't often mention it to people but when I do I often get "No way? My friend's the same!" or "I used to be like that" or "Well, I'm not 100% sure what I have are orgasms..." The only time it gets to me now is when partners treat sex like orgasm is the goal (either there's or mine). I enjoy it, if I don't then I stop and if they think orgasm is the only worthwhile bit then they are more than welcome to carry on by themselves.

The Pheasant2

Hitachi magic wand and the Betty Dodson method - give it a go. Proven to be highly effective in bringing anorgasmic women to climax

cloudatlas

https://www.omgyes.com/try-it 'OMGYes is an entirely new way to explore fascinating, useful and fun information that’s been uncovered in new research. Let’s lift the veil and take an honest look at the specific ways women actually find pleasure'. Techniques and tutorials.