I really need some help, I don't know what to do. Very stressed.

LauraaWhelann

Hi everyone.

Here's some background info about me. I'm 21 and currently in 3rd year studying Human Genetics in Trinity. I did really well in my leaving cert (unexpectedly) and never applied to medicine as I thought I would never get the points. I put Genetics down as a sort of "what if" and ended up getting it, again unexpectedly.

I had a really rough first year at college. I was severely homesick and felt totally lost. I was convinced that I hated my degree but chose not to leave as I didn't want to leave the friends I had made (silly I know) and feel the pressure of the stigma surrounding dropping out of college. I took the hpat that year, studied a bit for it but never gave it my whole heart and soul and ended up getting around the 50th percentile. I did hardly any study for that first year, and ended up with a pretty dismal result. (2.2)

So I chose to return to finish my genetics degree for the second year. I enjoyed the second year a lot more than the first, was happier in myself and got a better grade at the end (2.1). My problem with this degree is that I never feel good enough. I'm constantly comparing myself with my leaving cert self. For my leaving all I did was study study study. I find that really difficult to do now. I find I'm not motivated at all. I don't know if this is something that normally happens in college or is it because I've never fully dedicated myself to my degree. At school, I never strived to be the best but just to do my best, but now I'm constantly comparing myself to my classmates. I'm always scolding myself for not studying all the time. I'm disappointed when my classmates get better grades or scholarships and I know if I made myself work more and applied myself more that I could do really well and maybe even get a first in my degree. It feels like I never got out of that emotional state I was in in first year.

Now I'm third year, and I really am enjoying my degree. I'm working harder and trying to put my best effort into everything I do. I still know I can study more and now that we're in the new year I am really pushing myself to do so.

My problem now is I've really started thinking about postgraduate study. Medicine is still a huge contender as my career choice and entering graduate entry medicine is a plausible choice for me finance wise. But I don't know if it's what I want. I've never known what I wanted to be really. It isn't like I always dreamed of being a doctor as a kid. When I think about medicine, I always think of psychiatry as a discipline I'd like to be involved in. I know it would involve years of training and maybe even going abroad and many other sacrifices. if I don't know that I want to do medicine does that mean it's not for me?

Then back to Genetics. I genuinely find aspects of it very interesting. I just never considered myself as smart as my course peers because I've never fully applied myself. So obviously they would be offered PhD's over me. And again I don't know if I would enjoy a career in research. I do think that I would enjoy a career lecturing, however in this field they go hand in hand. I've been looking at many masters programmes such as:

MSc Prenatal Genetics and Fetal Medicine

Msc In Genomic Medicine

MSc. in Healthcare Ethics and Law

MSc genetic counselling (not very employable in Ireland)

Basically, I want a career that I will be happy in. I think this is a career where I will be able to help people, be they patients or clients. I would also like to have some free time and finances to have a life outside work. I have the law masters in there as i did a module this year on the prison system, wherein a wrote an essay on the implications of genetic predispositions on the justice system. I found this really interesting and I think genetical ethics and the legal system are going to become very topical.

Basically this whole situation stresses me out in ways I never imagined. I could spend 4 years in med school and hate being a doctor, nevermind considering having children and a career in this field too (difficult for postgrads). I could try and get a PhD and dislike too, or I could do one of these masters and wish I did med. or I might end up liking whatever I do, who knows.

Sorry for the length of this post, I'm just looking for people who can identify with my situation. Any postgrad doctors out there who can talk to me? Genetics graduates too? I just really need some guidance.

GalwayGrrrrrl

I'm not a doctor or a genetics grad, but here is my input anyway!
I did my degree in pharmacy in the U.K. - felt the same as you initially. I think in school we are used to getting full marks in all subjects- in university that is nearly impossible unless you devote every waking moment to study. I opted to study a bit and throw myself into university clubs and making new friends. Those things have been very useful to me in later life. I enjoyed my all around university experience in the end, and passed with 2.1.
You seem to keep coming back to medicine as an option. Do you know any doctors in HSE hospital that you can chat to? I've seen lots come to our hospital to chat about careers and it has been useful to them.
My advice is:
Finish your genetics degree- you've only one year left.
Speak to your tutors about career options
Find a doctor or two to chat to.
Don't panic- it will work out okay!

sneakysnake007

Have you thought about getting some work experience in the areas that are sparking your interest? That way, you'll get a first hand grasp of the careers and one may stand out from the others.

And don't feel pressured by the results of your classmates. Thinking of their grades won't make yours better. Instead, try to focus on being proactive about how you can improve, even it is only by 1% at time, or slowly building solid study habits, it will all add up. You're clearly capable and you're aware of that.

Also, please don't define yourself by the 2.2 you got in first year or the 2.1 in second year. You will get one grade at the end of your four years and that is the one that matters. Challenge yourself to do the best you can and truly apply yourself.

However, if you do wish to study medicine, the graduate entry which is a four year degree, requires you to achieve at least a 2.1 in your first degree so do keep that in mind. And for the masters degrees, I'm sure the better the grade you achieve overall, the easier it will be to gain a place. You could even use that as your motivation?