Work, House and Part Time College, Stress, Depression and Anxiety

flyovertom

Hi

I am currently studying for a Masters part time, I work full time and have lots of responsibilities outside of work. I sometimes have to travel with work and when I come back, my workload doubles because it can be difficult to get someone to cover my workload when I leave so I need to put in extra work in order to catch up etc

I work hard at what I do and put in extra time when it is required, I often stay late to the point where my college work comes second. I am also saving a ridiculous chunk of my wages at the moment for a house, I usually have great drive and a positive attitude to get what I need done but over the last few months I have not felt right.

About 2.5 months ago I went to the doctor about a rash on my legs, she told me I should take a week off work as it was stress related. I was having none of it because I didn't feel I had an issue with stress, I feel pressure some days but that's what drives me.

Over the last few months I am just getting busier and the work for college can be demanding, I booked some time off work over Christmas and I was hoping to complete my projects and close out the masters,

The holidays started off well and right after Christmas I just felt a huge wave of depression and anxiety come over me, I have not done a tap for college, well I've done the bare minimum. I still have time to complete my projects but it will require a massive effort, I have an average of around 70% at the moment so a pass shouldn;t be a problem but I still need to complete 2 large projects,

A few things have been happening in work before i left for my holidays that I have ignored, I have started getting pains in my side in work when I get overloaded, I have started getting chest pains frequently (I don;t have any reason to believe it is anything serious), I sometime wake up choking and I can't catch my breath, I have put on a lot of weight recently so some of this may be related to this.

Over Christmas, I just got huge depression and anxiety and the choking feeling has been happening more often sometimes during the day. I have neglected my work for college, my girlfriend has asked me on a number of occasions to see a councilor, mainly because I can't wind down from work.

My other half thinks I should also go to the doctor get a note and request an extra week or 2 for my projects, I just feel if I go down that road my lecturers will think I am chancing my arm, although I do get on well with them, I feel this is my own fault on the other hand I did miss 3 weeks due to work travel and I managed to catch up,

I guess I feel if I go to the doctor now, they will think I should have come sooner, I still have one week left for these projects.

Thanks for listening.

The_Pretender

You should listen to your girlfriend and see a doctor. There's nothing to be ashamed of, we've all felt the pressure at some stage.

I had no issues using doctors notes for assignments or exams if they were needed. Once it's approved by the committee then the lecture shouldn't care.

You really need to put your health first. If you're being over worked then you need to sort that out with management. If that doesn't work then you need to consider changing job. If it's having a serious effect on your masters then you need to find something that's more college-friendly.

I've been where you were when I was doing my exams and training, it's a lot of work and a huge commitment. It pays off in the end.

meeeeh

Would you ask for a cert from doctor if you had some physical illnesses and couldn't work on your projects? I bet you would, stress is no different. Go back to the gp get the cert and if they advise you extra time of work, take it. Otherwise you are risking more serious consequences in the future.

ChikiChiki

OP being a part time student your college will be fully aware of the pressures placed on some of their students trying to balance all the commitments they have. I was in your position before and sought an assignment extension and exam deferral after a visit to my GP. The college were completely supportive. The anxiety and depression I felt lifted straight away.

It's a measure of you as a person that you can realise that something is not right and take steps to rectify it. No shame in that and it is good decision making.

conditioned games

Try some mindfulness techniques. Rather than getting caught up with worries about the future purposely focus your attention on the present moment and accept it without judgment. Sit quietly focusing on breathing allowing thoughts come and go, notice your senses, make a list of what you have to do, prioritise, as you perform your tasks slow down and be fully present in the moment. You can get through your workload either been stressed or relaxed, it's up to you.

Teyla Emmagan

flyovertom wrote:

My other half thinks I should also go to the doctor get a note and request an extra week or 2 for my projects, I just feel if I go down that road my lecturers will think I am chancing my arm, although I do get on well with them, I feel this is my own fault on the other hand I did miss 3 weeks due to work travel and I managed to catch up,

She's right. Go to the doc, get 2 weeks off work and have your projects pushed out. You need to decompress before your anxiety gets to such a level you can neither work or do your college stuff. You are on the edge now by the sound of it and if it gets worse it will be even harder and take longer to come back from. You are only human and humans can only take so much pressure. Give yourself a break.

4976340

I have been/am in the middle of a very similar situation. With a short step backwards and a couple of weeks you will be able to see how much stress you have been under. I am the same, my head thinks I am coping but in my case I got increased blood pressure, burning mouth syndrome and other physical symptoms of stress. You won't be much use to anyone as I have been for the past couple of weeks, frozen with anxiety and crying for no reasons. Also, you make bad decisions with this much stress as sometimes you have great energy and sometimes it is much lower.
I am in the middle of the best learning experience in my life although it has been difficult in many ways.
I had my heart checked and lots of other tests to rule out underlying causes to my physical symptoms which were all clear but the stress is still there.
TAKE TIME OUT. Stress is the biggest killer in Ireland, that what the Oncologist that I met told me. Look up Type A personality and see if you match some of the attributes. Type A (Over Achievers, people who put pressure on themselves) have a 70% higher chance of developing real illness and shorter lives. You might recognise yourself, if you do then you are surely smart enough to put your health first too. Stress is a very real problem and there are many ways to deal with it. I use an App called Headspace, I hope this is non considered advertising but I find it brilliant and I never meditated or did anything like this for myself before.
BTW I am on a break from a high pressured job after 30 YEARS working there and I realise I would have been better off to recognise the signs as early as possible and always be ready to head stress off.
I hope you do well, consider it a learning experience too.

LegacyUser

I know how you feel as I was in a similar position a few years ago. I realised that I needed to take some time off work as I felt it was only a matter of time before I would have had some serious health issues.
When you got the rash it was your body saying I need a brake. Your working hard, traveling for work and trying to do a masters. That is heavy workload.

Go to you doctor and get note saying that you are stressed. Get 3 weeks off work and put that time into getting the things done for the masters. My feeling this that you need to relax for 2 days, eat well and catch up on your sleep. Take some vitamins as you could be run down. After 2 days off start to do the work on you masters.
Take a brake every 2 hours and get outside for a walk.

Would it be possible for you not to travel for work until you have the masters finished? It may be something to chat about to your boss. The reality is when your gone - you cant work on the masters/attend college. Your come back from a trip and your trying to catch up with work not done when your gone.
If your boss wants you to travel I would explain that when your gone x and y needs to be done.

If it is the case that your boss is not willing to help you out I would be considering my options once you get your masters. Some boss are good and support staff. Other boss just pass on the work, complain when it's not done and just go out of they way to make your work life difficult.

No job is worth putting your health in danger for. I can also say that no job is worth putting in continious long hours unless is benefiting you. It is important to have more in your life than working long hours.