Losing friends to death

JupiterKid

I suppose I've been pretty fortunate in that nearly all of my close friends are alive and well at the ripe old age of late 30s/early 40s, but yesterday I found out that a guy I became fast friends in rehab last year just died. He was just turned 40 and left behind 2 children, a partner and an ex-wife.:(

He died alone - his alcohol addiction killed him. This should be a message to me to stay on the road of sobriety. Anywho, I'm still in shock at the news. I called his partner today and we had a good cry. She is, as you can imagine, devastated.

Have any of you lost a good friend? Did you think at the time that if only you did things differently - like hang out more, share your thoughts more, that things would have been different?

beggars_bush

I tragically lost a friend to an accident on a staff night out years ago

Haven't fully gotten over it still though its 10 years+
Happened just before christmas and every year coming up to that time it makes me sad

A Dub in Glasgo

I lost two good friends, one at college in Waterford when he was 18 and I was 20 (traffic accident) and the second one was my childhood friend in Ballymun when we were 23, he died of an Asthma attack.

It is tough

eviltwin

Lost my best friend to suicide six years ago. Totally unexpected, no signs of depression and we'd been out the night she did it and she hugged me and said she'd see me later.......took a long time to come to terms with it, still not near being over it. I am really low thinking about tomorrow night and parties we had been to in the past for new years......I would love to say that if I could go back I'd do it different but in reality that probably wouldn't happen. I don't think it's good to think that way necessarily either, you won't feel the loss less for having spent more time with them. I'm really sorry for your loss JK, it's horrible news to get.

Logo

I've lost both friends & family members. RIP. Forgot to post and photograph how wonderful our friendship was on Facebook while they were alive though..
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057687235

arybvtcw0eolkf

A Dub in Glasgo wrote: »

second one was my childhood friend in Ballymun when we were 23, he died of an Asthma attack.

Balcurris Gardens by any chance?.

I've lost a lot of friends, first of them was back in the early/mid 80's when I was a teenager in Ballymun. Apart from one friend who was knocked down and killed all the rest of my teenage friends (who died) died as a result of drug overdoses.

That was a very long time ago of course, so I don't remember how I felt at the time. In fact there's a lot of things I don't remember from that time lol.

By the time I was in my twenties I was a soldier and so I was away from my old mates. In my twenties mates and people I knew well were starting to died of natural causes, including suicides and some killed in Lebanon.

30's and 40's, suicides, heart attacks, cancer and a lot of motorcycle crashes for some reason.

I've had two friends who died by suicide whose deaths wiped me out for a long time.. There were lots of questions in my head, one horrible one was imagining them setting up their hanging and the other was 'did [name] even think of calling me for a chat?' ~ could I have made a difference?.

Apart from my grandparents I've had no close family members die. Most of us live to ripe old ages, and I plan on living to a ripper, older age than the rest :P

Lau2976

I lost my sister and honestly it was like losing an arm. I hadn't realized how entirely dependent I was on her for simple things or how much joy she really brought me.

I love her with all my heart still and I think about her all the time. I appreciate the sister that's still with me now more then i ever have. I wish that it hadn't taken losing her to appreciate her though.

A Dub in Glasgo

Elliott Dazzling Amputee wrote: »

Balcurris Gardens by any chance?

from Belclare Way

arybvtcw0eolkf

A Dub in Glasgo wrote: »

from Belclare Way

Oh, that was the posh end of Ballymun when I lived there!.

Although my sister had a friend whose father died of asthma, they lived in Poppintree but I think it was the courts.

A Dub in Glasgo

Elliott Dazzling Amputee wrote: »

Oh, that was the posh end of Ballymun when I lived there!.

Although my sister had a friend whose father died of asthma, they lived in Poppintree but I think it was the courts.

I grew up in Balcurris flats and the courts, you are right about Belclare though, they were the posh bits

uch

I lost me best mate and drug partner to Heroin, I survived, it was 2007, I'm clean now, and if it wasn't for him sacrificing his life, i'd be dead too, he knew I had kids, so I can only offer my condolences to you and his family from my heart, because I know what it's like for your heart to be broken

lulu1

Had my fair share of death in my family 14 to start off with now we are down to 5. 7 brothers and 2 sisters gone. From car accident's to dying suddenly from cancer to brain hemorrhage. We often joke which of us is going to be next but in reality I would be lost without them

JupiterKid

I lost both of my parents by the time I was 40 (nearly 2 years ago now). My mum died suddenly when I was 15 and I lost my Dad to cancer 2 years ago. It's not nice not to have living parents but some have it worse. I also lost two cousins - one to cancer and another to a heart attack.

I meant this thread to more about losing friends as opposed to family members. But feel free to discuss any losses of loved ones. There's been a lot of talk of 2016 being a celebrity death year but those close to our hearts are so much more important than any celeb.

_Brian

I've lost a few through accident and suicide, it's just life, no point beating yourself up wondering if you could have done more.

metaoblivia

About a year ago an ex-boyfriend was killed by a drunk driver at a stoplight. We had been part of a close group of friends in college and still kept in touch. It was devastating and a complete shock.

The_Kew_Tour

June bank Holiday weekend 2006 my friend died in Drowning accident with his Mum and Sister.

I remember seeing him across the street that weekend before it happened but I was too busy and said to myself I'll chat to him another time. He did not see me.

A regret in hindsight and one of reasons I left to States to suss a job a few weeks later

Aglomerado

Lost a great friend to a progressive autoimmune disease in 2012. Almost 5 years on and every day I still think about things he used to say. Funny fecker, I miss him.

gifted

Lost a friend to a motorbike accident a good few years ago...funny woman she was... my 7 year old took her name for her middle name

Graces7

Nearly 80 now but the day when I was 16 and my only brother, 19, drowned is as clear as then .. always reminds me of the Pieta. Strong broken body .

Then my mother, killed by a car and IDing her.

Never ever easy and it never ever really goes away and maybe nor should it, People are precious, as we are to them. They carry part of us with them, as we do them.

Graces7

gifted wrote: »

Lost a friend to a motorbike accident a good few years ago...funny woman she was... my 7 year old took her name for her middle name

That is sheerly lovely !

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

Once you pass the 70 mark you seem to lose friends rapidly, but the greatest losses are those that died young. I still deeply miss my elder brother who died in his teens and my father who was only 50. I regret that my father never saw any of his children married nor saw the successes in their lives. When I look back at my life I often think what he would have felt in my position when I had kids and grandkids, got to retire and see so much of life.

Losing friends to old age has a certain 'natural' element to it and, while the loss of a friend when young is heartbreakingly painful, the loss of an old friend who shared all the stages of life with you brings a melancholy that lingers too.

Winterlong

Lina Vast Tv wrote: »

Losing friends to old age has a certain 'natural' element to it and, while the loss of a friend when young is heartbreakingly painful, the loss of an old friend who shared all the stages of life with you brings a melancholy that lingers too.

Brilliantly put.

cookiexx

I'm 30 and not sure how/if I'd cope if I lost either of my parents any time soon. It'd be the end of me.

I read about people who've lost multiple members of their immediate families through tragedy, accidents, suicide and I am completely astounded and stunned. Not sure I would ever recover or even want to.

Badly Drunk Boy

I've lost friends with varying degrees of closeness, most of them in road accidents. The closest, my best friend since I was 4, died in our Leaving Cert year. We were best friends for 13 years, and even though it's been 26 years since he died, he still appears in dreams the odd time.

Last week, I dreamt for the first time about an aunt of mine who had died in her 30s in 1985. It wasn't until I woke up that I realised that the dream was set in my friend's house, even though he wasn't in the dream and didn't know my aunt.

9or10

Last Paddy's I took our old tractor up to the parade. Its quite a jaunt for old Bessie at 15mph and for me with no windshield or cover.

Anyway there was a guy nearby who also did the trip. I waved "Howya doin" after the parade but I often think I should have gone over and put some effort in.

Two days later he hung himself.

Suicide is such a cnut.

Hector Bellend

I lost a close friend to suicide at 27 years of age

Sonics2k

I'm 32 and I've attended the funerals of 15 close friends in the last 16 years or so.
6 were the results of suicide, a few were drug related, one was shot by police in Australia (black guy in the wrong place, yes it does happen in Oz too) and my best friend was stabbed outside a bar in Texas after saving a girl from an attempted rape.

I'm not including the passing of elderly relatives in here.

Graces7

cookiexx wrote: »

I'm 30 and not sure how/if I'd cope if I lost either of my parents any time soon. It'd be the end of me.

I read about people who've lost multiple members of their immediate families through tragedy, accidents, suicide and I am completely astounded and stunned. Not sure I would ever recover or even want to.

No; you would cope and do it well... Believe me on that, The grief is hard but then you start to remember the blessings they gave you and smile again.

There were two in my life who died but are not dead. Two nuns,one Anglican , one here in ireland. who I knew well and who supported and helped me in many ways... There were with the ANglican one dreams just before she died that prepared me with her love reaching out, I KNOW both these are alive and with me and many folk feel this about beloved family members.. Love cannot die.

myshirt

Love knows not it's depth until the moment of passing.

From where I stand, been to too many funerals by the time I was 30. Shot, stabbed, car accident, suicides, but the one that hit me most my childhood best friend and a heroin overdose. Left two kids under 5 behind.