I wish to get into self defense but unsure which one

NotAPhoney

Hello.

I am 24 and I am conisdering getting into self defense, I've been never involved in any kind of martial arts and to be honest - I have no idea how to fight, many are aware of it and therefore tend to exploit it (with threats, beatings etc.. I've taken quite a lot of beatings and they are getting more frequent)

I am 185 cm in height, 86 kg in weight, I would prefer something passive-aggressive, something where opponents attacks can be turned against them but also something that allows to just end it at any moment and just walk away.

I have no idea where to start, I am based in Kildare but I have no issues travelling.

Where would be best place to start and learn?

endacl

NotAPhoney wrote: »

(with threats, beatings etc.. I've taken quite a lot of beatings and they are getting more frequent)

Feck. Sounds like you could do with studying situational awareness with a minor in getting dafuq out of there.

NotAPhoney

endacl wrote: »

Feck. Sounds like you could do with studying situational awareness with a minor in getting dafuq out of there.

Thats not the point, the point is that I get beaten up by a jumpy 19 year olds and can't retaliate back because I have no idea how.

cletus

Where are you hanging out, where are the beatings happening? I'm 36, from Kildare, and I've never taken a beating.

For you to have taken several, and for them to be happening more frequently, would be fairly unusual.

Re what martial art, the idea of using somebody's attack against them is, IMO, commonly mis stated. The best thing to learn would be to strike, so boxing, kickboxing, muay Thai.

However, that only deals with the act of stopping an aggressor in isolation. Given what you've described in your op (and assuming your not trolling) you need to look at the areas you are frequenting, and your awareness of people/situation there.

You don't say if it is the same person or people attacking you. If this is the case, I would strongly suggest you speak to the gardai

NotAPhoney

It's not the same person, it's just that I am in quite a big circle of friends/friends of friends etc... and many like to resolve conflicts with fights.

It's not a case where I would go to Garda as it will complicate things in future.

It's a matter of showing everyone that I am capable of defending myself (which currently I fail to do)

cletus

Sorry, you're going to have to be clearer about the situation. Are your friends beating you up?

KathleenMcCabe

Where you go to learn will depend on transport and accessability.

There are loads of great arts and everyone has their own art that they love and believe in.

Try a few places out and be open minded. Most important thing is that you get a good honest teacher that is interested in your progression and not in making money for themselves. (Although they will of course need to make some money to pay for their hall and time)

What training/class options have you got at the moment?

NotAPhoney wrote: »

Hello.

I am 24 and I am conisdering getting into self defense, I've been never involved in any kind of martial arts and to be honest - I have no idea how to fight, many are aware of it and therefore tend to exploit it (with threats, beatings etc.. I've taken quite a lot of beatings and they are getting more frequent)

I am 185 cm in height, 86 kg in weight, I would prefer something passive-aggressive, something where opponents attacks can be turned against them but also something that allows to just end it at any moment and just walk away.

I have no idea where to start, I am based in Kildare but I have no issues travelling.

Where would be best place to start and learn?

Blackthorn Fight School

If your in Kildare there are many martial arts clubs available if you are looking for self defence as you said you need to learn how to fight.

As was pointed out situational awareness if your 24 and getting beaten up on a regular basis either call the Gardai or do not go to the places where this is happening or be around these people. I understand they are your friends but if your getting beaten up they might not be or at least consider making new friends. If for whatever reason this is not possible then I will try offer some advice.

Step one of self defence dont be there.

Second get fit I dont mean body building but get strong and learn to run and sprint your not going to get into a fight if you cant get caught.

Third learn or read up on de-escalating a situation aka talking it out. I have avoided a few fights from just talking to people or letting them insult me it is just words after all.

If you are set of learning a martial art then find a club that teaches something with actual full contact sparring and learn some grappling I would as others above recommend kickboxing, boxing, muay thai, judo, mma or BJJ. There are a good few clubs in Kildare to learn these. It just depends where you are based.

Most of the stuff in movies like using your opponents power against them etc are usually bull or misinterpreted it can be done like someone charging onto your punch or into a hip toss. But also if your attacker clocks you in the back of the head its not much use to you.

Also self defence often needs to be proactive you can sometimes avoid a conflict by throwing the first shot.

From the sounds of it your issue is with groups of people and no matter how well you fight you wont be able to out fight a group even with years of training.

Final note if you do learn to fight you may end up painting a target on your back if / when you win a fight especially if your hanging out with groups of these people mates of mates / family etc may jump in or jump you later down the line.

Anyways best of luck with it feel free to drop me a pm if you want OP.

Dyr

NotAPhoney wrote: »

It's not the same person, it's just that I am in quite a big circle of friends/friends of friends etc... and many like to resolve conflicts with fights.

RoboRat

Sounds to me like you are in a big big group of friends, many are not really your friends but they are friends with your real friends, who you don't want to lose... its like a little community and there are altercations between the various 'factions' within this group.

This sound about right?

If this is the case then learning a MA is not the answer. You need to just walk away and find new friends or just talk to your real mates and explain that you are sick of the **** and you like them, but not the gang. You're 24 and if they cant accept that then they aren't friends.

I do however think that learning an MA would be very beneficial to you though. The reason being if you have confidence in yourself, you tend to exude that confidence in your demeanor and stance/ manner, and this in itself is a massive deterrent to people deciding if you are a target.

I used to get bullied a lot when I was in school because I lacked confidence and I was in a situation no dissimilar to what I described above. I trained in MA's to defend myself but it was pointless as I didn't have the confidence to do anything and its hard to change someones view that you are weak once its been established... it's always best to fight like hell in the beginning, even if you take a beating as at least you are not seen as a pushover.

It was only when I finished school, left my family home and started afresh away from everyone, that I found my confidence. Once I had this, then I walked away from the 'mates' who weren't really mates and stuck with those who were true friends. I have since done a fair few MA's (Judo, MT, MMA and BJJ) and I can say hand on heart I never get in any bother because I hold myself in a manner that exudes confidence in my ability to KTFO anyone who tries anything on... I don't go about threatening or scowling, I am simply confident in myself.

That's my advice anyhow and hope it helps :-)

jenny smith

NotAPhoney wrote: »

Hello.

I am 24 and I am conisdering getting into self defense, I've been never involved in any kind of martial arts and to be honest - I have no idea how to fight, many are aware of it and therefore tend to exploit it (with threats, beatings etc.. I've taken quite a lot of beatings and they are getting more frequent)

I am 185 cm in height, 86 kg in weight, I would prefer something passive-aggressive, something where opponents attacks can be turned against them but also something that allows to just end it at any moment and just walk away.

I have no idea where to start, I am based in Kildare but I have no issues travelling.

Where would be best place to start and learn?

You are 6 feet and 13 stone. Is that not an advantage just in size? What size are the people who beat you or do they gang up?

SVJKarate

RoboRat wrote: »

Sounds to me ... its like a little community and there are altercations between the various 'factions' within this group.
...

If this is the case then learning a MA is not the answer.

I've summarised RoboRat's reply just to highlight his key point which is absolutely hitting the nail on its head. You don't need to learn how to fight, you need to learn how not to get into a fight, and the nub of that skill is to develop your own confidence. Take up cycling, take up running, take up canoeing, or any physical sport and your confidence can grow to the point where others see it and their respect for you grows proportionately. If sport isn't your thing then develop public speaking skills, develop singing or music ability, but don't expect to take a weekend class in a martial art and then be able to use an attacker's strength against themselves . . . . that's a level of MA skill which takes years if not decades to attain to the point where you can reliably use it.

But sure, take up a martial art by all means. It's good for you in many ways, but know before you start that the solution to your problem can't be found in a good roundhouse kick.

cletus

SVJKarate wrote: »

but don't expect to take a weekend class in a martial art and then be able to use an attacker's strength against themselves . . . . that's a level of MA skill which takes years if not decades to attain to the point where you can reliably use it.

And even then, it doesnt really mean what most people think it means

jenny smith

cletus wrote: »

And even then, it doesnt really mean what most people think it means

Could you please explain what do most people think it means. And what does it really mean?

Blackthorn Fight School

Most people think of it like in the movies or an aikido demonstration of one guy in a relaxed manner flipping guys out of the way one after another with ease.

What it really means is like I mentioned someone running onto a punch or a hip toss for example.

cletus

Just like Blackthorn said. As an example from bjj, if i sweep my opponent, its because ive felt him in a position where he is unbalanced, and experience (lots and lots of practice) tell me if I push or pull him in a certain direction, I can sweep, escape, end up on top.

This is using an opponents body, momentum and sometimes strength against him, but there is still a moderate to high degree of skill, athleticism, power and strength required from me, if not to execute the actual sweep, then at least to control and manoeuvre my opponent so that the sweep presents itself.

Would this be easier to achieve on an untrained opponent? Yes, provided most of your training is against trained opponents.

It is not Steven Segal in Under Seige flipping 200lb men with a simple flick of his wrist, nor is it the youtube aikido guy, or whoever, flowing around a matted area deftly flicking multiple opponents through somersaults with the lightest of touches to the wrist, elbow, shoulder or neck.

Controlling a fully grown resisting man is not something that is easy to do, as anybody who has tried a grappling art can attest to

jenny smith

Blackthorn Fight School wrote: »

Most people think of it like in the movies or an aikido demonstration of one guy in a relaxed manner flipping guys out of the way one after another with ease.

What it really means is like I mentioned someone running onto a punch or a hip toss for example.

Thanks for that

jenny smith

cletus wrote: »

Just like Blackthorn said. As an example from bjj, if i sweep my opponent, its because ive felt him in a position where he is unbalanced, and experience (lots and lots of practice) tell me if I push or pull him in a certain direction, I can sweep, escape, end up on top.

This is using an opponents body, momentum and sometimes strength against him, but there is still a moderate to high degree of skill, athleticism, power and strength required from me, if not to execute the actual sweep, then at least to control and manoeuvre my opponent so that the sweep presents itself.

Would this be easier to achieve on an untrained opponent? Yes, provided most of your training is against trained opponents.

It is not Steven Segal in Under Seige flipping 200lb men with a simple flick of his wrist, nor is it the youtube aikido guy, or whoever, flowing around a matted area deftly flicking multiple opponents through somersaults with the lightest of touches to the wrist, elbow, shoulder or neck.

Controlling a fully grown resisting man is not something that is easy to do, as anybody who has tried a grappling art can attest to

Thanks for that

RoboRat

Would this be easier to achieve on an untrained opponent? Yes, provided most of your training is against trained opponents.

This is very valid. Most people think that if they can do it to a trained opponent, it would be a piece of piss to do it to someone with no training.

This is not necessarily the case as for example, in Bjj a trained opponent who is in mount is expecting a specific reaction, they are also defending the sub/ sweep and not striking... the higher levels will even bait you to get what they want so its not a realistic comparison to someone with no training. In BJJ they are also mounting with the intent of subbing rather than an frenzied attack from an untrained opponent.