What do your 2 yr olds tantrums look like?

Kate253

I'm a bit baffled by a recent development with my 2 yr old as in with his tantrums. Call me naive absolutely but I really didn't see the whole "terrible two" s thing coming but also, how bad they can actually be!! Seems to have come as a bolt from the blue and getting worse! I find myself going - feck sake, how can this 3ft nothing little boy be actually getting this much of a handful.... So quickly!

We've had a bit of tantrum here and there, not liking the word no/ having something taken off him, bursting into massive tears over nothing YET with the ability to be distracted easily enough and easily enough calmed and moment over. Etc etc.

Fast forward maybe 2 months. Now we have pinning himself to the floor, throwing head back ( which has resulted in him hurting himself and me a few times) as of yesterday he hit me in the middle of all this and this eve was kicking me away with his legs.

Triggers are when I want him to do something and he clearly doesn't want to cooperate E.g this weekend we had it with Getting nappy changed / dressed / getting into chair for meals, getting out of Bath, trying to get ready for bed. Now, once I have got over the initial battle ie actually changing the nappy / getting the clothes on, once he is in the seat etc, all is fine. It's a problem when I interrupt him to start the task but my goodness, it's stressy!! Is this normal??? He's otherwise fairly easy to manage. The head thing is awful. He has hurt himself a few times. I have to scoop him up with one hand protecting his head and one between his legs as he goes limp so I can't just lift him normally. Sigh.... I can't believe I'm actually writing this... :-(

also, my chap, as part of his protest, just before he starts throwing himself back, will insist on going between my legs so get away from me. !!!

tracey1098

I feel your pain Kate253! My 2 yr old DD has turned into a nightmare with tantrums literally over a few weeks. I'm letting her off at the loud shouting and she eventually calms down and then I say ok let's try this again. The head thing is worrying though, like obviously you don't want him to hurt himself. My doll hasn't started that...yet!

Anyway your not alone, believe me most days I think will nap time ever come 😂

BeardySi

Today we had;

Didn't want to take off jammies
Wanted cream on her porridge (we had none)
I sat her on the wrong part of the counter
Didn't want the straps done up on her booster seat
Wanted to go to nursery in her slippers
Didn't want to go to nursery
Wouldn't go to the toilet (just before an accident)
Wouldn't put on her bedtime nappy
Didn't want to to to bed
Wouldn't sleep in her own bed

It wasn't even a particularly trying day, we also had lots of love, laughs and cuddles...

When she kicks off its anything from tears to crying so hard she's nearly vomiting to rolling around the floor. If you're trying to get her into something like a seat or a buggy she'll go stiff as a board, or if you're trying to pick her up and she doesn't want it she'll go totally limp. Sometimes she'll just sit there and howl.... Fun times!

Kate253

Treadhead wrote: »

Today we had;

Didn't want to take off jammies
Wanted cream on her porridge (we had none)
I sat her on the wrong part of the counter
Didn't want the straps done up on her booster seat
Wanted to go to nursery in her slippers
Didn't want to go to nursery
Wouldn't go to the toilet (just before an accident)
Wouldn't put on her bedtime nappy
Didn't want to to to bed
Wouldn't sleep in her own bed

It wasn't even a particularly trying day, we also had lots of love, laughs and cuddles...

When she kicks off its anything from tears to crying so hard she's nearly vomiting to rolling around the floor. If you're trying to get her into something like a seat or a buggy she'll go stiff as a board, or if you're trying to pick her up and she doesn't want it she'll go totally limp. Sometimes she'll just sit there and howl.... Fun times!

OMG, thank you! I laughed out loud reading your post!!! :eek::D

Kate253

Treadhead wrote: »

Today we had;



It wasn't even a particularly trying day, we also had lots of love, laughs and cuddles...

We do have all of this too! Thank goodness!

dori_dormer

Very normal! My guy screeches at the top of his lungs and crawls under the bed sobbing. Also bangs his head on the wall.

I spend a lot of energy trying to avert tantrums! Basically they happen when the child feels out of control so the illusion of control is necessary. Keeping a decent routine every day helps. As does ample warning for changes. I'll always give 5 min. Warning for TV off, getting dressed, nappy changes etc. He may still kick off but he calms down faster.
Also we talk about our day every morning and evening and what we'll be doing tomorrow etc.
When he's having a tantrum I try to leave him to it. Most Pele hate being touched when they are upset mad and kiss feel the same. So I sit nearby and tell him I'm here if he needs me and would like a hug etc.

In general it makes it easier for us both.

Kate253

Treadhead wrote: »

Today we had;

If you're trying to get her into something like a seat or a buggy she'll go stiff as a board, or if you're trying to pick her up and she doesn't want it she'll go totally limp. Sometimes she'll just sit there and howl.... Fun times!

Oh this is He.

Deep breaths. Scoop and lift!

Kate253

dori_dormer wrote: »

Very normal! My guy screeches at the top of his lungs and crawls under the bed sobbing. Also bangs his head on the wall.

I spend a lot of energy trying to avert tantrums! Basically they happen when the child feels out of control so the illusion of control is necessary. Keeping a decent routine every day helps. As does ample warning for changes. I'll always give 5 min. Warning for TV off, getting dressed, nappy changes etc. He may still kick off but he calms down faster.
Also we talk about our day every morning and evening and what we'll be doing tomorrow etc.
When he's having a tantrum I try to leave him to it. Most Pele hate being touched when they are upset mad and kiss feel the same. So I sit nearby and tell him I'm here if he needs me and would like a hug etc.

In general it makes it easier for us both.

Good advice. I do give warnings as well but maybe he needs more of a lead in.

nikpmup

+1 on the time warnings - I actually set an alarm on my phone for say,5 minutes, when it goes off its time to go do whatever it is that's needed. Also, giving him some form of choice - he particularly hates being interrupted when he's playing with his trains, so I ask him which train he wants to bring with him. I also pay particular care that if I promise him a reward after complying, he gets it and I remind him that he's a good boy (eg, he threw a wobbler yesterday because he wanted to jump on the bed instead of getting changed, I promised he could after getting his pj's on - as soon as he had them on he got to go on the bed for 5 mins; and I told him he was a good boy for getting changed)

Cunning Stunt

I remember writing a post about my little lads tantrums not so long ago - they were explosive and they  got so bad that they occurred every single day. It got to the point where I cried to my mother on the phone that it couldn't be normal! 
But thank God, he has come out the other side of it. We just celebrated his 3rd birthday and tantrums are few and far between now. But the troublesome phase for us lasted basically a year, from age 2 - 3.
The best thing that worked for us was the counting technique. I thought it wasn't working in the beginning but it did have an effect. Give them until a count of 3 and then if they still keep going they get time out. After a while he understood and would stop roaring when I got as far as 2. I read the book 1-2-3 magic and it was very helpful. 
Other than that, all I can say is hang in there - this too, shall pass!!

Rosie Gold

I was going through all of this, this time last year and I'm glad to be out the other side of it. It's so exhausting. I was really firm and strict with my child for 6 months. It's paid off now, she's a completely different child although went through a threenager stage for a while also. It's a real power struggle with them at this age, you're the boss and make sure your child knows that. Don't give in to their demands and make sure they hear the word 'no' often. Your persistence will pay off eventually but boy are they trying at that age. My child is comical now and I'm enjoying parenting her but those tantrums were trying to say the least. I always heard that the teenage years were the hardest, I don't know about that.

shesty

I have a 2.5 year old (and an 8 month old who has 8 month old rages :eek: )

2.5 year old (girl) isn't the worst, but definitely from around 19/20 months up to about....28 months....god. Headwrecking. She's not too awful these days but her triggers are blindingly obvious (to me)....Tiredness and hunger. ALWAYS hunger! That's the one that catches me unawares the most because although we live by routine here, she can still be fine, fine, fine and then - it all goes downhill rapidly (and she won't eat for me then). We had a couple of massive meltdowns when she was just two - sobbing, screaming meltdowns that we had to just ride out, because she just couldn't stop.

Her language has come on in leaps and bounds, she is unusually vocal for her age and it makes such a huge massive difference. A lot of the tantrums at that age are related to just not being able to communicate how they feel - I don't want to go to bed now, I want to keep playing, I don't want to stay here because I'm tired - that kind of thing.I tended to tell her well in advance and also to try to give her the words for things....like don't just scream when you can't get something or can't get out of/on to something - say "help me please". That kind of thing. It does sink in eventually!

Definitely definitely definitely - you are the boss. No means no. If you say something, follow through. I actually wouldn't always engage in them either. She does have a little fit about not wanting breakfast every morning - I tend to just move her bowl away (slightly out of her reach) and proceed with my own breakfast and feeding the little one, with no comment. She will always demand the bowl back within about 60 seconds! No response from you can sometimes be the best response, but you need to use your judgement on that!

Now we are into the tantrums that are whim-related - the "I want to wear a dress - no THAT dress, the dirty one in the washbasket!!" type tantrums!:rolleyes:

spottybananas

This started with my son at 15/16 months He's 20 months now and things have gotten marginally better since I realised just how much he understands so I explain things a lot more, why we're doing what we're doing, that it'll only be quick, why he can't do xyz and what he can do instead etc. Every day we have tantrums ranging from a quick wail to throwing things, kicking, sobbing against furniture red faced. He particularly hates clothes going on or off, nappy changes, high chair, creche, and when I won't let him play with dangerous but super fun items.

I was braced for this at 2, not 15 months!!!

Kate253

spottybananas wrote: »

This started with my son at 15/16 months He's 20 months now and things have gotten marginally better since I realised just how much he understands so I explain things a lot more, why we're doing what we're doing, that it'll only be quick, why he can't do xyz and what he can do instead etc. Every day we have tantrums ranging from a quick wail to throwing things, kicking, sobbing against furniture red faced. He particularly hates clothes going on or off, nappy changes, high chair, creche, and when I won't let him play with dangerous but super fun items.

I was braced for this at 2, not 15 months!!!

Thanks all. I have to say it's been so refreshing to read all the posts. Some really made me laugh yet grimace at the same time! Ride it out, right?!

Lucuma

Totally normal unfortunately. It comes as some shock alright, especially the first mutha-fcuka of a tantrum in a public place?! That literally took years off me.......

I use Time out with my 2yr 3mo old and it's very effective. I heard her talking to her teddy the other day and she was saying to the teddy 'Don't you slap me again, you're going on a Time out! ' and she put him on the step :-D :-D :-D

At least I know it's getting through about slapping me being unacceptable and coming with a consequence!

tickingclock

My almost three year old has the worst tantrums when we go into a small local shop. She lies on the ground and throws a wobbler! I ignore her and do my shop and leave. She follows me out and stops crying. It's embarrassing but I don't give in. I feel if she gets sweets every time she'll learn that throwing a tantrum results in getting her own way. I'm always talking to her and telling her what we are doing next so that definitely helps prevent them at home.

shesty

The 'funniest'(?) Thing is when you've had a nightmare outing or visit somewhere, where they've been pulling out all of their worst behaviour amd completely ignoring your attempts to get them to behave....and then you drive home and can hear them in the back seat repeating every.single.thing.you told them over the duration of the last couple of hours.....that they mostly blithely ignored....

I never know whether to howl laughing or bang my head on the steering wheel repeatedly.:o

wherearemykeys

Oh god, you're not alone, thats for sure. But it does get better. When my DS would set off on his tantrum, id let him off, telling him to let me know when he has finished and thats exactly what he did!! He would get it out of his system and then come and tell me when he was finished. Depending on what caused the tantrum i would often just scoop him up and cuddle him until he finished. I found the tantrums didnt last as long when i was cuddling him

Dravokivich

My Son gets into tantrums here and there. the important thing though is not to give into them. If I really need to do something like get him dressed or into the car, I tell him to stop with the messing a few times. Afterwards he gives up.

It ain't easy though. Can be a right pain when something that should only take 5 minutes, ends up taking 20.

Moonbeam

My 5 year olds tantrums beat my 2 and 3 year olds hands down .

Rosie Gold

Moonbeam wrote: »

My 5 year olds tantrums beat my 2 and 3 year olds hands down .

I naively thought they ended at 3!