Am I crazy to leave!?

LegacyUser

Going anon for this as have family members that use boards...

If I had wrote this one month ago this is what I would have written....So I am currently living in a major European city and I have a good job. I am good at this job and get on great with my colleagues. Lately work has been slow, so while I am working hard (in 1-2 hours before everyone else, 15-20 min lunches and then back to desk to work instead of taking 1-2 hrs and playing Fifa in the office with everyone else)I am not hitting target as most of my potential clients have severely cut their budgets so they are not spending. This is causing me until stress so I have gone from waking up and looking forward to going to work to waking up and dreading it. On top of this I am spending too much time on my own, I get home from work and sit in my room watching tv or reading mainly because the friends I have have either met new partners, have other plans/are busy etc. We do hang out but I do find myself lonely and frustrated a lot of the time.

One month later and I have resigned from my job as it was not working out and I know if it went any longer there they would have had to pull the plug on me. I had spoken to my manager and he more or less said this to me. He understood how hard I worked and that was not under dispute, its purely a numbers game and the numbers were not adding up. Since I have resigned I have felt a lot better, people have commented on how happier I look, I am smiling more and I feel more alive I guess, less stress! I figured out that no matter how much I try, a 9-5, office/desk job just is not for me!

So this brings me to my next step, what to do next!? Well, I have always wanted to act but for various reasons I have never attempted to go for it. From lack of motivation through lack of confidence to anxiety and depression etc they always pulled me back. For the last few years (since I left Ireland) its all I can think of from morning to night so I have now decided to go for it, I am late 30's.

The plan is to move to New York and give it a shot in 2017. I reached out to friends in NYC about work (bar work) and I applied to a few schools there and I have already been offered an interview for one of the top acting studios in New York and this will be in early 2017. For the next few months I will be working in a bar to up my bar game so that I can secure work in NYC while I train, should I be successful. This will also help save money as I wont be out spending. I will also be illegal in NYC until I can sort a visa, I have a couple of options on this, none of them 100% though. It is a big risk!

So whats the issue I hear you ask? Well am I doing the right thing? Is moving to NYC to pursue acting a pipe dream that so many attempt or am I being deluded and should I get back behind the desk and stop dreaming? I told my folks I resigned, was easy to tell my dad as I told him face to face and I believe he could see how unhappy I was/am here and when I explained how much I wanted to do this I think he could see that this is what I want. My mother was somewhat upset, more so because she worries and only wants the best for me but as with all mothers she can sense when something is wrong and when something is good and i think she is sensing how much I want this, we have discussed this before but I always got the impression they(my family) thought it was just another idea/dream and that I would soon forget about it.

So has anyone here got any advice for me? Has anyone taken a leap of faith and tried something different and how did it work out for you? Has anyone moved to NYC(or any major city) in their late 30's with little idea of what the future holds only that it cant be much worse than the recent past? Am I crazy to do this?

thanks for reading,

gercoral

you're very inspirational, tbh! and i think you should defo go for it!!!!!
look, from what its sounds like, you have no commitments as such. you've nothing to hold you back. you've nothing really going for you here, so what not have a fresh start? if it works, it works. if it doesnt, it doesnt. at least you tried and didn't sit on your hole wondering 'what if'.

i genuinely think it's admirable, i wish you all the best!

gercoral

you're very inspirational, tbh! and i think you should defo go for it!!!!!
look, from what its sounds like, you have no commitments as such. you've nothing to hold you back. you've nothing really going for you here, so what not have a fresh start? if it works, it works. if it doesnt, it doesnt. at least you tried and didn't sit on your hole wondering 'what if'.

i genuinely think it's admirable, i wish you all the best!

Shelga

Go for it, do what you want, I admire your courage.

But surely going to NYC as an illegal is a terrible idea?! How can you get a visa if you're already in the country illegally??

amtc

I have a very good friend who was living month to month here. Actually he still owes me 300 euro. Anyway he mailed me from new York with his new wife from their brownstone. He's 42. Works in entertainment. He says he pinches himself that he grew up in Ballymun

Loveinapril

While you are still based where you are, would you join a drama club to learn some skills? And a Toastmasters or debate society to improve your confidence. I think it is crazy to pack up a life and move across the world for something you have never tried. New York will be bursting with people just like you, only with years more experience. Sorry for bringing the thread down but it is important to think realistically before making such a move.

athtrasna

Please don't do the illegal thing, with Trump taking over in a few weeks it really isn't a good plan. There are good drama schools in London and even in Dublin now, no need to go to New York.

cactusgal

Definitely sort the visa first, otherwise it's a pipe dream.
What would you if one of your parents got sick while you were working there illegally? Go back and then not be able to return to the States for ten years?

Big Nasty

If you're not happy in a job absolutely you should leave if at all possible. Life is too short - you should be doing something you enjoy. Follow your dreams.

The downside of your plan is looking for bar work as an illegal. I had a friend go over in '99 I think. Trawelled the city looking for bar work for a couple of months. He was on the verge of giving up but eventually got a job in a bar in North Bronx where he bartended their function room where he could not be seen by the day-to-day customers. I can only imagine it's worse now nearly twenty years later.

Maybe you need to revise your plans a little? Best of luck to you.

DoctorBoo

Apply to the Lir Academy in Dublin and work from there. No need take such a risk going illegal in NY

CarrickMcJoe

A good move to up sticks. The way you were working, you were only going one way, that's to an early grave. Best of luck.

LynnGrace

I think you were absolutely right to move on, from the role that was making you so unhappy. Life is too short.

The idea of being an illegal in the U.S.A - not sure that would be a good move.
Have you looked at all options in terms of getting into acting, closer to home?

Best of luck in whatever you decide.

LegacyUser

OP here, firstly thanks for all your replies, I was expecting a mixed bag of 'go for it' and 'are you crazy' replies so a lot to think about.

To address some of the points raised by you good folks...cant do multi quote for some reason so please bear with me!!

@Gercoral - you are correct, I have no commitments here apart from a small overdraft and credit card, no family or mortgage.

@AMTC - if I make it over would you like me to collect that $300 for you ha ha? May I ask if your friend had a visa when he went over or did he go the typical Irish route and then secured a visa?

@LoveinApril - I have already taken part in a couple of acting/drama courses here but they were very basic. I have also shot a few small scenes in a couple of films over the last 12 months. While there are a few well established and well known studios/schools here I want to go to NYC as it will afford me more opportunity, access to more people in the industry etc, esp at this stage in my life I want to give myself as much of an advantage as possible.


@the rest of who asked about visa/illegal status etc. So I have an interview for one of the top acting studios in NYC in Jan. This is for their 6week intensive summer course starting in June. I want to do this prior to applying to their 2yr training course that starts next Jan 2018. Now I can take part in the 6wk course on a tourist visa, I dont need a student visa to take part so I could go over in june for a couple of months. If I were accepted to the 2yr course then the school would help me obtain a student visa for the 2 yrs however I would not be eligible to work on this visa unless its connected to my study. I guess I could act behind a bar ha ha!?

I have a couple of options - do the 6wk course (should I be successful) and return to where I am now and apply for the 2yr course from here and move back early 2018 if successful.

or

do the 6wk course (should I be successful) and stay there working while applying for the 2yr course. The advantage to this is that I would make a lot more money in NYC that I could put towards my study fees. As mentioned I have already resigned and will be working in a bar here learning cocktails etc so that I will have some relevant bar skills when I go over. I am aware it is a different game over there but I am going to do all I can to make sure I can make this work before/if I go.

I have spoken to a few friends that live over there, both Irish and American and the general consensus is that while it is a risk to go without a visa I should be ok as the authorities are looking for low hanging fruit to to speak (not white Irish if you get me).

I am aware of the risks involved and I will be applying for full legal status however I cannot wait forever for this and need to get the ball rolling with respect to the rest of my life...

Again thanks for all your replies so far and I welcome more.....

beks101

Surely if one of the schools in NY was to accept you, you'd have to have some sort of student visa anyway?

Why not move closer to home - London or Dublin perhaps - and see what happens with the drama school applications. You could always apply to London too and then move over to the states on a graduate visa right after.

I'd think if you were to do a risk assessment on this one there'd be too many reasons to not do it as you've a lot working against you - alien status in the US, your age and lack of experience in the most competitive city and industry in the world. Do you have enough financial security to deal with the fallout of doing it for a few years and failing?

Hesthea

Do what your heart tells you to do.

Have you checked for other alternatives but still feel that you really need to go? Then go.

If there is something i have learned through life is that i prefer to regret what i did than to regret what i did not.

The fact that you have contacts/ friends willing to help you there its a plus.

Like someone already mentioned, with trump coming to power i would without any doubt work on my visa issue. Better to be safe than to be sorry.

Also, have a 2nd plan in case something goes wrong.

Do you have a place to stay?
Have you got any idea of how much you will need to be able to withstand on your own without help over there?

I did what you are planning to do, the only difference is that i didn't cross a whole ocean. And i brought with me the only person i care about: my child.

Even though my life is not "glamorous" and sometimes it is a challenge to live in Ireland it is way better than the one i didn't have in my own country.

But the most important is that i do not regret the decision i made. I prefer to try and fail than to never have tried at all and remain in doubt about how things would have been if i had done this or that...

And if things don't go the way you've planed at least you know you tried.

Best of luck for you

amtc

Sorry I didn't see this till now. My friend only went two years ago. Bit of a whirlwind as he always wanted to write and got a freelance offer so went on tourist visa. He was just coming up to 40 and still living at home having quit a civil service job. Now he's part of a Pr agency, met a girl and got married. I don't talk to him that often but he says he walks into work every day blinking that he grew up in Ballymun. So if you could pick up the 300 euro...

You threw out a thought about bar work to act as being a way to a visa
That's not a bad idea
There are several theme pubs that employ entertaining staff as bar staff
Two in particular I can think of where staff act as ghosts. I can't think of the name but one is on 7th and 55th.

amtc

Jekyll and Hyde. I also found a doctor who one