Bike Mine

godtabh · 13-12-2016 8:27pm #1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAzxzteRlVI

Ordering mine tomorrow

crosstownk · 13-12-2016 8:43pm

I could imagine the fright it would give the thief (and others close by)!

I could also imagine the fright it might give to the paintwork.

godtabh · 14-12-2016 7:21am

I wouldnt be taking it too seriously

check_six · 14-12-2016 10:48am

Hmm, interesting. I could use something like this to add on to my seat post harpoon idea. Might add a little stage magic showbiz pizzazz to firing a barbed spike at a bicycle thief's buttocks.

Skrynesaver · 14-12-2016 11:48am

check_six wrote: »

my seat post harpoon idea.

I think you'll find that your seatpost harpoon is a derivative work and any royalties accruing will be vigorously contested with my prior patent for the seatpost shiv, less complex and without the tethering line and hook I would argue that, with its automated resetting system, it can eliminate multiple thieves without the need to remove the previous miscreant's carcass.

check_six · 14-12-2016 12:11pm

I just find the aesthetic of some hoojah bike thief having to drag the bike behind them whilst they limp, shriek, and wail their way to unsympathetic medical attention adds a whole unexplored nouveau-realism artistic dimension that simply stabbing them in the arse with a rusty shank lacks.

Both are good systems, no doubt, but art trumps function in this case I fear!

magicbastarder · 14-12-2016 12:52pm

as a concept, the idea is stupid anyway; an alarm lasting a fraction of a second is of limited use.
if it severed the chainstays in the explosion, it may do a better job of the thief making off with your bike.

punisher5112 · 14-12-2016 12:54pm

I think the exploding air bag seat is much better.

07Lapierre · 14-12-2016 12:57pm

Version II should be a concealed in the seat post version.
When a thief rides off, it sets off a shotgun cartridge and sends pellets up thru the saddle!

check_six · 14-12-2016 1:23pm

07Lapierre wrote: »

Version II should be a concealed in the seat post version.
When a thief rides off, it sets off a shotgun cartridge and sends pellets up thru the saddle!

Ah here! A shotgun shell? There's no magic there! It's gotta be a harpoon. (An appy webby CO2 actuated harpoon, no less!). Even Skyrnesaver's seatpost shiv had more of sense of delight and wonder than a bloody shotgun shell!

magicbastarder · 14-12-2016 2:24pm

how about an invention of a key operated bolt in the headset which which renders the steering useless, without the key?
would mean any thief getting through the lock would not be able to cycle the bike away.

Skrynesaver · 14-12-2016 2:26pm

magicbastarder wrote: »

how about an invention of a key operated bolt in the headset which which renders the steering useless, without the key?
would mean any thief getting through the lock would not be able to cycle the bike away.

And then it stabs them in the arse?

punisher5112 · 14-12-2016 2:49pm

Can't beat a rope tied to the bike leave unlocked and see them crack their nuts.

godtabh · 14-12-2016 7:28pm

Some good variations here

https://www.facebook.com/twinztv/

Also alot of other ****

Bambaata · 14-12-2016 10:02pm

07Lapierre wrote: »

Version II should be a concealed in the seat post version.
When a thief rides off, it sets off a shotgun cartridge and sends pellets up thru the saddle!

Version III with Automatic Arse Recognition so it doesnt go off with the wrong passenger should the owner forget to disable it